


Scarred Wings

by ShyFox96



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: After no regrets, Before fall of Maria, Canon deaths, Eventual Smut, F/M, OC deaths, PTSD, Sex, Slow Burn, dark beginning, traumatic childhood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:02:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 21
Words: 60,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22523695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShyFox96/pseuds/ShyFox96
Summary: Katherine was just another person within the walls. She never got along with others and decided that the only thing she would be good for, and that would be good for her, was becoming a soldier. After a rough childhood and nowhere to go she joins the military hoping to make something out of her life and give her a place to sleep and food in her stomach. But she just might end up biting off more than she can chew.
Relationships: Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Original Female Character(s), Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 66





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I’ve posted something I’ve written for others to see. It’s something I’ve written out in my head for about half a year now I finally decided to write it out. I’m pretty new at all this so please go easy on me. I hope you enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you here for the smut chapter 19 is what you're looking for.

Year 834

  
Katherine didn’t know what was happening. She understood that her mother owed money. She understood she owed it to these men. But her 8 year old mind couldn’t grasp the gravity of the situation.   
  


Three men had her and her mother cornered in a warehouse in the slums of a city in wall Maria. Her mother stood between her and the men shielding her to the best of her ability. The biggest man was off to the right. He had a massive scraggly beard, small piggish eyes, and a sneer. He wore a hat unlike the other two. The man off to the left was only a little bit smaller than the first, he was bald, had wild yellowish eyes, and crooked jagged teeth. Which only made his disgusting smile all the more repulsive. And then there was the man in the middle. He was smaller than the first two but the loathing spark in his eyes made up for it. He looked as though he wanted nothing more than to watch this mother and her child suffer. He also seemed to be a bit older with the grey streaks over running his brown greasy hair. They all wore dirty clothes that made it obvious they were nothing more than low life scum.   
  


The older man in the middle was the leader it seemed, because he did the talking. “Ye owe us Jessamine. So pay up!” His voice sounded as though it had been plagued by smoke all his life. Though he probably had never been able to afford a cigar in life. 

“I don’t have any money!” Her mother, Jessamine, cried, “ _Why_ do I owe you? You’ve done nothing for me or my son!” She referred to Katherine as her son for fear of what might happen if it was known she was really a girl.

  
He looked to the man on his right, ”You hearin this bitch?” He raised his hand and backhanded her. She cried out but didn’t fall or stumble back. Her mother had always been strong and resilient when it came to taking a hit. Although starvation made it a challenge. “Ye owe us,” he said it slowly as if to mock her for being slow minded, “because we allow you to live in _our_ territory.”

”But I have no money!” Her mother said once again.   
“Bullshit.” Katherine hated his raspy voice. “I know what ye do at night. D’ya think I’m stupid, _whore.”_ Jessamine flinched at his last word. She flinched and he noticed. It seemed to just feed his glee and excitement.

“It all goes to food. I don’t make enough for anything else.” She pleaded, eyes wide.   
  


He stepped back and scratched his chin looking thoughtful. “Hmm. I s’pose you’ll have to make it up to us in some other way.” His face turned cruel. And the men behind him chuckled as if he’d told an amusing story. “Grab’er

”No!” She screamed as the men reached out towards her. She screamed and kicked and pleaded. One of her kicks caught the bald man on his shin. It obviously hadn’t been a hard kick because of how weak and small Jessamine, her mother, was physically from lack of food and nourishment. But the man used it as an excuse to punch her. It wasn’t as hard as it could have been but brutal nonetheless.   
  
Kathrine remained by the boxes in the back of the warehouse as the men dragged her crying mother to a supply closet nearby. 

“RUN RINE!” Her mom shouted at her using her boy name. But Katherine was confused and scared.   
  


“Mom!” She stood there uncertainly.   
  
The leader looked over towards her seeming to remember her existence. Or really noticing it for the first time.   
“We’ll come back for ye after we’re done wit yer mother. Don’t worry we’ll take good care of ‘er.”   
  


” _RUN!”_ Her mother shouted.   
  


Kathrine instead stepped forward trying her best to be brave. She didn’t trust these men and she wanted her mom to stop crying. Her mom wasn’t the best mom but she did everything she could for Katherine. Even taking up horrible men as customers if it meant feeding her daughter. And despite how she hardly ever spoke she was the only person Kathrine had. To be alone in this world at only 8 was terrifying. “Let her go!” Her little voice rang out.

But the man only rolled his eyes with a growl. His fist rose obvious and slow but Kathrine still could do nothing as it came down upon her head and everything became foggy and dizzy as she lay there on the dirty floor. She could vaguely hear her mother’s screams raise in hysteria as they dragged her away crying out for her child. Then even behind the closed doors she could hear her mother screaming and begging. Kathrine didn’t know how long she was on floor hearing her mother screaming. Her head felt warm. As the warmth spread to the side of her face along with a copper smell she felt she should be worried. But the stars dancing through her clouded vision made it hard to think. She could still hear her mothers voice. Loud and shrill. It pierced the air and then suddenly, it stopped. Just like that silence filled the air. And with it, sleep filled Kathrines head.   
  
~~~

The men came out to see the young boy still laying on the floor but with blood now pooling out beneath his head.   
  


“Aye,” the bearded man called, “I think we might’a killed the kid.”   
The older man looked over, “Nah. He’s still breathin’ but probably not fer long. That’s fine though. I ain’t got a use for some little brat like ‘em. Jus leav’em.” And with that they left.   
  
~~~

Hours later Kathrine woke up. No one had found her because no one had come. No one cared about muffled screams coming from an abandoned warehouse in the slums. Her head swam but she stood to her feet anyways. At first confused but as she swayed there for a moment she could somewhat make out the thought that something bad had happened and she needed to get up. She stumbled her way to the room her mom had been dragged to.   
  


What she saw there made everything in her mind freeze. Even all her muddled swirling thoughts seemed to just come to a halt. Then without a sound, she ran. Or as much as one could when you were so dizzy. She fell to her knees and dry heaved her stomach empty, then scrambled back to her feet. She didn’t know where she was going or what she was going to do. She just ran.


	2. Taking flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Kathrine runs she has to survive. She tries to survive on her own but as she grows she becomes more of a woman and it becomes harder to protect herself. Refusing to follow in her mother’s footsteps, she does the only thing she can think to do.

Spring of 842

Seven years had passed since that horrible night in the warehouse. Kathrine did everything in her power to not think about it. She survived instead, taking one day at a time. She maintained her status as a boy for a good long while but now at the age of 15 her curves were beginning to resemble a woman’s. A starving woman with little to offer a man, but a woman nonetheless. That among other problems made it to dangerous to continue her life in that style.   
  


She now stood in a row among many other people all ranging from the age of 12 to 15. An angry man marched up and down the rows of faces demanding names of people and criticizing anything about the bearer of the name. It would be hard next three years, but she would get through it. She would survive.   
  


~~~  
  


As the three long years passed, she ate more food than she ever had in her life. Her body seemed to rejoice as it took on a healthy shape. But despite all the nutrition her body was now getting and putting to use she feared there was no hope that she might grow any taller. Her friends (more like tolerated acquaintances) would occasionally tease her about it when they got the chance. She was a lone wolf most of the time though and avoided most people all together. She allowed her pale gold hair to grow out like she has always secretly wanted to do and began wearing it up in a braid. But most importantly her mind took shape and grew. She was able to think about what she wanted to do with herself for the first time in her life. No more just surviving from day to day. She needed a hobby. After some time of trying out a few different things, like sewing, she wasn’t good but she wasn’t terrible. Cooking, she could only do simple recipes. Eventually she tried out drawing. She was no professional although she discovered that she actually really enjoyed it. From that time on she practiced almost anytime she had free time.   
  
Although she didn’t have any close friends she did have people she liked more than most. Two people in particular more than the others. Marzia Esposito and Jinn Olsson. The two were usually together and often invited Kathrine along to whatever they were up too. They were decent soldiers and very nice people. Kathrine for some reason like the two of them more than she did most. They had come from the same town so it made sense that they were always together but Kathrine couldn’t understand why they’d taken to her. Marzia was a fairly pretty girl. She had light brown hair that came just below her shoulders and was usually down and flowing free. Jinn was a nice guy. Kathrine could tell that he was good looking but she just didn’t see it herself. She never felt any real attraction towards any guy (and especially not any girl). She just wasn’t interested in having a love life. Jinn had short dark blonde hair that stopped right above his ears. He was a complete goofball and always made Marzia laugh and Kathrine smile. But as much as Kathrine enjoyed being around them she often felt like she was intruding. It wasn’t that she was rude, but she felt it was painfully obvious that they liked each other as more than just friends even if they themselves didn’t realize just how obvious it was. Kathrine was actually very kind when people made the effort to get to know her but so rarely did people try. So it meant a lot more than she was willing to show that Marzia and Jinn had been so welcoming towards her.

Despite her quietness and kindness towards those who approached her there always had to be someone that wanted to prove something. Kiara Bevling was that someone for Kathrine. It had been the third day in training when Kiara decided she was bored and wanted to push someone’s buttons. 

“So like,” she said slowly approaching Kathrine who had secluded herself to a table in the corner of the mess hall, “what are you?”  
Katherine looked up from her bowl of watery soup. She raised an eyebrow at the pretty red headed girl leaning on the table. She remembered her from the orientation. _Her name was something with a K... Kiara._ “Human?” She said slowly.

Kiara let out a little gasping laugh. “No. I mean are you a boy or a girl?”

Kathrine knew she really didn’t like this girl. It was obvious enough that Kathrine was girl, just not a very healthy or well fed one. Her hair was still cut short in a boys style though. _Did she really go out of her way to come over here and taunt me?_ This wasn’t the first time Kathrine had delt with someone like this but it usually came from wealthy snobby people, but now that Kathrine thought about it, she realized how well manicured Kiara looked. Her nails were almost perfect, her face round, her body was nicely filled out and she obviously wasn’t very hungry if she gave up precious mealtime to pester Kathrine with stupid questions. Kathrine filed this peculiar information away and focused on getting rid of the girl that was being a nuisance.

Kathrine let out a quiet sigh through her nose “I’m a girl.”

”Really?! Oh my bad. I wasn’t too sure because your looks are so... contradicting. Well I guess not really because you don’t have much of a chest or anything attractive about your body but I mean your face is very feminine.” She said it in such an innocent and friendly voice. Her smile was pretty but full of venom as a table of boys nearby listening in on their conversation snickered.

Kathrine felt a dull rhythmic thud in the back of her head. Not a headache but a rush of blood. “Well sorry to confuse you on your nightly hunt for customers but I’m not a guy so you’ll have to find someone else who will pay to have you in their bed.” She said with a bored voice. The guys at the nearby table all let out a harmonious “OOHH” and began banging on the table in fits of laughter. The eyes of nearly everyone in the room turned towards them.   
  


Kiara’s face turned a lovely shade of pink as all the fake kindness melted away. Kathrine took another bite of soup to focus on not showing any sign of triumphant emotion. She successfully hid her smile as Kiara turned and walked away straight out of the building. Thus began their 3 year long feud. But it gained Kathrine the respect of a good few people. Two of which being Marzia and Jinn. Which Kathrine was very glad of because Marzia had Kathrines back when it came to Kiara.   
  


More people approached Kathrine after that. Adrik Smurvov came to her a few nights later when everyone was headed to the barracks. He was a tall brawny boy with dark brown hair.  
“you are very skilled with your tongue.” He said approaching her seemingly at random.  
”I’m sorry?” She said not sure that she’d heard him right.  
“you are very skilled with your tongue.” He repeated. “The way you got back at that red head girl when she was taunting you.”  
”Oh!” She exclaimed feeling quite stupid for not understanding. “Um, yes, thank you.” She felt awkward and didn’t know where to look.   
“We start practicing with the odm gear tomorrow. You think you’re ready for it?” He asked  
She was grateful for the change in conversation that happened to give her a decent excuse to slip away, “Oh yes speaking of which I should probably get to my barracks to get a full nights rest. So goodnight.” She awkwardly backed away and set off at a quick pace towards her barracks.   
Marzia sidled up to her side “I think someone’s into you.” She said in a sing song voice.   
Kathrine just gave her a look that convoyed her feeling of “No thanks!”. Marzia seemed to get the message and let out a little laugh at Kathrines reaction, causing Kathrine to fight a smile off her own face.   
After that it seemed that Adrik got the message too though just from that conversation and didn’t try to get any further than the arms length she’d put him at. No other guys seemed intent on trying their luck with her and she was ok with that. She just wanted to focus on becoming the top of her class.

Winter of 844

And so 3 long years of hard training came and went. Finally they were ready. Kathrine had worked _hard_ for this moment and it had payed off. She graduated top of her class. Showing amazing skill in everything except hand to hand combat. It seemed to be a pointless grade anyways. No one was skilled in hand to hand combat. It wasn’t useful anyways so what did it matter? Although the nagging thought slipped in through the back door of her head, _it would have been useful to mother._ She pushed the uninvited thought from her mind focusing instead on the graduation ceremony. She was glad to see that most of the people she liked and got along with where actually in the top ten with her. Including Marzia, Jinn, and Adrik. Despite their first awkward meeting Kathrine found that Adrik was good company. She was happy to see the people she liked at the top of the class where they could get into the MPs and enjoy a good life. Despite keeping people a comfortable distance away she still cared about them. A feeling she often chased off when she realized she felt it. Affection was a dangerous thing in this world. She had to keep it in check. But she stilled cared about them nonetheless.  
On the opposite end of the emotion spectrum though was Kiara. She hadn’t made into the top ten but instead just outside of it in 11th place.   
Kathrine couldn’t help but enjoy this fact. Kiara wanted so badly to outdo her but was too vain and selfish. So she rarely got anywhere in training. Her odm skills were good but she would rather dodge things than risk breaking a nail.

The ceremony was a bit unpleasant since it was the tail end of the year and thus nearing the end of winter. But this was only a slightly unpleasant thing in the midst of all he excitement. At the end of the day of the graduation ceremony all the cadets had gathered into formation and listened to the speeches of the different commanders. At the end of it all the cadets walked away choosing their different branches. Marzia and Jinn walked over to Kathrine before going to their place among the MPs.  
”We understand there’s no changing your mind about where you’re headed.” Marzia said as she stood in front of Kathrine looking down at her own clasped hands. “But please be careful!” She suddenly cried out throwing her arms around Katherine. Kathrine was surprised at first and just froze. But then it finally hit her that this was most likely the last she’d ever see of the closest thing she’d ever had to a friend. So she hugged Marzia back. They then pulled away from each other and Kathrine saw the unspilled tears in Marzias eyes.  
“Aw Marzia,” she said with a gentleness in her voice she’d only ever used for Marzia. “Don’t cry it’ll all be ok.”   
“Oh, I know.” Marzias voice wobbled but she took a deep breath and managed to calm herself. “I’m just really going to miss you.”  
”It’s not goodbye forever.” Kathrine thought it should feel like a lie but for some reason it didn’t. Maybe one day they would see each other again.  
Jinn only ruffled her hair and told her he’d miss her.

Nearly all the cadets had cleared out and gone to their new Commanders. “Just invite me to the wedding ok?” Kathrine said with a mischievous grin.  
”Wa- Wait- what? Who-“ Marzia stuttered while Jinns face turned tomato red. “Kathrine!”  
Kathrine only let out a little chuckle and turned to walk away.

She walked over to where Commander Keith Shadis was standing welcoming people ready to join the survey corps with an unnerving glare. But what really caught Kathrines attention was the blond man beside him. Erwin Smith. The supposed future of the survey corps. That is if he survived long enough. But Kathrine had no room to talk. Soon enough she’d find out herself if _she_ could survive long enough.   
Just then she noticed that out of the mere 20 or so people who had joined the survey corps, one of them was Kiara. 


	3. New Territory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kathrine gets settled into the survey corps. Or at least tries to...

Out of the top ten only Kathrine had chosen the scouts. The other nine jumped at the opportunity to join the MPs. They arrived at the scouts headquarters just as the last bits of the sun was sinking below the horizon. They dropped their hoses off at the stables and when they had finished unsaddling and feeding them they lined up outside. Commander Keith Shadis muttered some excuse about paperwork to Captain Erwin. He then turned to the new people lined up in front of him.   
“I’m unfortunately very busy for tonight, so from this point on Squad Leader Erwin will be handling you all, treat him with the respect you would show a commander.” He informed them.   
“Sir!” They all said in unison while saluting him. He simply nodded and saluted them back before spinning on his heel and heading towards a building. Wether it was offices or bedrooms or perhaps even both, Kathrine had no clue. _What an odd man. He doesn’t seem like he even wants to be a commander.  
_ Kathrine turned her full attention to the squad leader, Erwin, who had begun explaining rules and leading them to the barracks so they could drop off their belongings. Most of what Erwin said we’re things that Kathrine was already familiar with. No boys in the girls barracks and vise versa, no fighting, clean up after yourself... etc. There was new information, which Kathrine took careful note of, such as which buildings were what, and what time and days certain events took place.   
He then lead them to the mess hall, it was almost dinner time after all. As he led them in silence, occasionally pointing out buildings here and there, Kathrine counted to see just how many people out of the nearly 130 people in her training corps had chosen to join the scout regiment. _15, 16... and 17 including me. Are you kidding me? Not even 20.  
_ That was it. Everyone else took the easy way out. But out of the 17 people here why Kiara? Kathrine could see her near the front of the group as close to Erwin as she could get. _Typical Kiara. She’ll probably try to flatter or even seduce him._ Kiara had been through a number of men during the 3 years of training. Much to no ones surprise. She used people to get what she wanted and then discarded them.   
  
They had finally reached the mess hall. As Kathrine walked in through the doors she saw that it was a large space, although not too big. Tables and benches were neatly organized in rows stretching back towards the kitchen. Erwin dismisses them and made his way to the table of people who were clearly higher ups.   
Everyone from her group spread out to claim tables and get food. Some were even invited to sit with curious veterans.

Kathrine stood there a little awkwardly scoping out a place to sit. Most of the people were in groups of 2 and up spread all throughout the mess hall. Kathrine saw a table that didn’t really have any people around it in the back right corner of the building. She quickly got her food and sat down at the quiet table.

She mostly just focused on eating her food. The noise in the mess hall was loud but not bad. Especially compared to the mess hall at the training camp. At some point though the noise of the room took a sudden dip. Kathrine paid it no attention and continued to pick apart her bread. Footsteps neared and stopped at the end of the table.   
“You’re in my seat.”   
The voice was deep and detached. Kathrine looked up from her bread to see a man staring down at her. He had pale skin, black hair styled in an undercut, he wore the standard scouts military uniform but with the classy touch of an cravat. But what _really_ got Kathrines attention was his eyes. They looked as though they had been forged from steal. Kathrine slowly stood.  
 _I really don’t want to start trouble on my first day.  
_ _”_ Sorry,” she mumbled, “I’m done anyways.”   
She began gathering up her plate with barely touched food on it.  
“Really?” He asked sounding skeptical. “With all that perfectly good food still on your plate?”   
She tried to think up a good excuse for wasting it because she’d rather go hungry for the night than deal with the awkwardness of trying to sit with other people making them uncomfortable. But she realized the room had become dead silent. The silence overtook her mind leaving her tongue feeling abandoned.   
“Sit down and finish.” He commanded. “I hate to see food go to waste.”   
He then sat down at the opposite corner of the table to eat his own meal ignoring her completely. Slowly the noise returned to the room. Mostly excited whispers, and Kathrine had a feeling she knew what they were about. Whoever this guy was he was known by everyone else here. Who the hell had she just tested her luck with? She sat back down and finished her meal as fast as possible.

She practically bolted out of there as soon as she’d finished. She then headed to the woman’s barracks in the dark alone with only the mental map she’d formed in her head from Erwins descriptions and earlier short tour, to guide her. She found it easily and went to find the bunk she’d been assigned. Number 27. She got ready for bed, crawled in, and closed her eyes willing herself to glide at that in between. It was a comfortable mental state where she was technically sleeping but it wasn’t deep enough for dreams and she could wake easily at a moment’s notice. A habit she didn’t think she’d ever shake. Not that she wanted to. Anytime she fell into a sleep deep enough to dream it was full of nightmares.   
  


~~~

Later more of the women began coming into the barracks from dinner.   
  
Kathrine glided just below to surface of consciousness. The sound of Kiaras annoying voice pulled it further to the surface though.

”-top cadets.” Kathrine heard her say only catching the tail end of the sentence.   
“Wow, really?” An unfamiliar voice said. “How lucky for us to get someone with your skill joining us this year!”   
  
_Oh god, what bullshit is she spouting now?_ She peeked open an eye and saw the shadows of people moving about. She was on her left side facing away from the door. Her bed thankfully was at the very end of the row. She closed her eye again and began a slow decent back into the darkness of her subconscious when something caught her attention.   
“Yea that’s the girl who sat in his seat. Right over there.” She practically felt as though she could feel them looking at her. As if she was some poor insect caught in a jar to be stared at.   
“I can’t believe he let her finish eating there”   
“yea it was surprising to everyone. Did you see Hange and Erwin? Their faces were priceless!”   
“Who is he anyways?” Kiara’s annoying voice pipped in.   
“Who is he!?” The first voice said incredulously. “Only Levi! Ya know the guy everyone’s been talking about for almost the past year.”   
“Yea the guy just kinda came out of nowhere, no training, nothing, and just started killing titans like it was a hobby!”   
“He’s so handsome but his attitude scares almost everyone away!”   
“Riley no one except you thinks that. He’s _way_ too short.” Another girl snickered.   
“That’s not true! A lot of people think he’s handsome!” The other voice (Riley) shot back. She was met with a mixture of agreeing voices and ones complaining about his height.   
“In all fairness he’s still taller than a lot of girls.”   
“He’s cute but it’s ruined by his height.”   
“Does it really matter though? He’s much too bitter for my taste“   
“Or anyone else’s.”   
“I heard he was a thug from the underground.”   
“Yin, you and your wild conspiracies.”   
“Yea everyone knows that’s just a rumor, Yin.” 

_Levi. THAT was Levi?? The man known all across the walls as the sudden miracle titan slayer?_ Kathrine was wide awake now. The man was practically a legend among the soldiers.   
Kathrines mind swirled around the thought that she might’ve gotten on this mans bad side. The room quieted down around her as the other girls went to bed and put out their candles. 

~~~ 

Later that night after dinner Erwin called Levi to his office. Levi left the men’s barracks on cat like feet and made his way towards the office building. He wasn’t bothered by it. He hadn’t been sleeping anyways. It seemed he rarely did. He just felt detached. Like he always did these days. It was either detached or pissed. It had almost been a year since Furlan and Isabel had died. But it still floated there in the front of his mind.   
He knocked on Erwins office door.   
“Come in.” Erwin’s muffled voice replied, but Levi had opened the door before Erwin was even halfway through his sentence.   
“You wanted to see me, sir” Levi said sir as though it was a bad joke. He didn’t really have a grudge against Erwin but that didn’t mean he entirely liked him either.   
“yes have a seat.” Erwin said as though Levi hadn’t even shown a hint of rudeness. Levi just continued to stand by the door with his his hand on the handle. “Please.” Erwin added. Levi sighed closing the door all the way and slid into the seat in front of Erwins desk. He wasn’t even the commander but he might as well been. It seemed as though Shadis had slowly been handing over the reigns to Erwin.   
“I think you already know why I called you up here,” Erwin started “You’ve been here nearly a year and you’ve broken many records that took people years to set. You’re easily worth over 100 soldiers and you’re a valuable asset to humanities cause.” He paused “However, your attempts to remain antisocial and in low military ranks cannot last forever.”  
Levi rolled his eyes and exhaled through his nose. “Haven’t we already been through this? Every time you try making me a squad captain it ends badly.”   
Erwin just gave him a hard look. “You barely allow anyone under your command to do anything outside the walls, you push them to impossible limits in training then criticize them when they can’t reach your expectations.”   
Levi leaned back in his chair “Tch. It’s not my fault they’re too weak for this line of work.” He said haughtily.  
Erwin stared at him for a long second. There was no way this man could be this vain. It had to be a mask of some sort. There just had to be more to it.   
“In the past we tried assigning a group to you in the traditional manner. I suppose I should have known that tradition wouldn’t work with you. So I’ve come up with a plan.”   
”Huh?” Was Levi’s only response.  
“I saw you eating dinner with a girl today. A new recruit in fact.” Erwin smiled. It wasn’t an unkind smile or taunting in any way. It annoyed Levi anyways. He had a feeling he knew where this was going.  
“That is _not_ how I would describe that incident.” Levi had a look on his face that looked like a mixture between annoyance and distress.   
“Do you know who she was?” Erwin asked.   
His only response was an incredulously raised eyebrow.   
Erwin sighed. “I suppose not. Her name is Kathrine Silver. She was actually the top of her class in the training corps. I’m assigning her to you and promoting you to squad Captain. You will be her squad leader. Normally I’d assign her to Mike or Hange. But her skill level is high enough that you might tolerate it. I’d hate to waste the opportunity when you seem to tolerate her being near you.”   
Levi looked pissed. “Fine.” He sounded pissed too. “Is that all? I’m losing my precious beauty sleep.”   
Erwin ignored the sarcastic comment. “Yes that is all _Captain_ Levi.”   
Levi stood and started walking towards the door, “Being a Captain does have its perks,” Erwin said. Levi paused and looked back at Erwin. “You don’t have to sleep in the barracks anymore. Which I think is probably what’s best for everyone.”   
Levi turned his whole body towards him, “they live like pigs. They hardly ever clean.”   
“And they say that you clean to much. At least you won’t have to deal with that anymore.”   
Levi continued on his path out of Erwins office. “I’m leaping for joy.” He said in a dead voice. The door slamming behind him.

~~~

Spring of 845

Kathrine woke easily from sounds of the other girls getting ready. She took her time getting ready herself, intending not to arrive at breakfast until the near end, she had done this ever since that first awkward encounter. A few weeks had passed since she had arrived. Today the new recruits were being assigned to their squads. She was nervous but didn't think about it too much because whatever was going to happen was going to happen.

When she walked into the mess hall she only grabbed an apple and quickly ate it leaning up against the back wall near the kitchen. She could see that Kiara had made herself the center of attention at a table of girls. Kathrine rolled her eyes and surveyed the rest of the room. Levi sat at his table with a cup of something warm. Kathrine could tell by the steam rising up out of it. He observed the room with distant disdain.   
  
As if he sensed her looking at him, his steel eyes smoothly slid to hers. She quickly looked away feeling unnerved at his awareness.   
  


“May I have your attention.” Erwins voice boomed across the room from where he stood at his table almost opposite from Levi’s table. Every noise instantly vanished. “Normally commander Shadis would be the one to make an announcement such as this one but in his absence I shall do it for him. We are leaving two months from now for our first scouting expedition of this year. I expect you all to prepare yourselves appropriately and help the new recruits appropriately prepare themselves as well. That is all, thank you.” He sat back down and a woman on his right side, with brown hair, glasses, and a big smile began talking to him.

Everyone began chattering in grim but energetic voices. Kathrine left the mess hall to find Mike Zacharias who would supposedly tell her who and where she was assigned to. She was completely unaware of the pair of silver eyes that followed her on her way out. She found Mike a little while later thanks to the crowd of familiar faces surrounding him by the practice field. As she approached he noticed her.   
“Ah that’s 17. You must be Kathrine Silver.” He walked over to her and leaned down. The man was almost two entire feet taller than her, and... was he... sniffing her? He stepped back.  
“You were the top of your class right? That would explain it.”   
“I’m sorry? Sir?” She was having trouble keeping up with this man.   
“You’re assigned to Captain Levi.” He said looking down at her.   
Excited and shocked whispers danced among the group. So he was a captain?  
“ _What?!”_ Cried out Kiaras shrill voice.   
Mike just ignored the others and continued talking to Kathrine. “You’ll have to wait for him here but he shouldn’t take long. If I were you I’d start stretching and getting ready. He’s probably gonna put you through the ringer.” Was that... _pity_ in his eyes? What in the world was she about to go through if the large man looked at her with _pity_?   
“Wait he’s a captain?” She asked surprised.   
“Yeah thanks to you actually. He was promoted to the position when he was assigned to you. It’s probably best you just wait here for him. The rest of you,” he said already walking away “follow me.” 

Kathrine not knowing what to do with herself stretched like Mike had suggested. She then leaned up against a nearby tree, and waited. She watched people go about their day. Was the Captain going to make her train even though it was the freezing cold tail end of winter? She wasn’t sure how long she was there when a voice that seemed to evolve out of thin air behind her said, “You just gonna stand there all day?”   
She spun around knowing who stood behind her. “Sir!” She saluted him.   
“Tch just go get your god damn gear on and let’s get this over with. He walked away towards the line of massive trees. Kathrine noticed he already had gear on, which he then put to use by launching himself gracefully up onto the branch of a massive tree. Even from that high up she could feel him watching her. _Looks like we'll be training in the cold._ _Best not to keep him waiting._ She retrieved her gear as quickly as possible and headed back to where she last saw him.   
  
When she’d landed on the branch next to him he gave one sizing up glance then launched himself into the trees without an explanation. _Ok I guess I’ll just wing it to the best of my ability._ He ran her through multiple hard drills. It was one of the most intense training exercises she’d every been through. 

By the time they stopped it was a few hours past midday. They rested on a branch catching their breath. The Captain tried not to show it but he was actually pretty winded. Despite what he threw at this girl she held her own pretty well. _But that doesn’t mean anything compared to out there. That’s when we’ll really see just how good you are. But maybe..._ His thoughts trailed off.  
“You seemed to keep up well enough.” He turned away from her. “We’ll meet up again in an hour by the horse stables. Go get a drink before you pass out. You barely even ate this morning.” Without giving her a chance to respond he just walk off the branch and into thin air gracefully swinging away.

An hour later they met where he said. Kathrine had been sure to arrive 15 minutes early just in case. They then began practicing different maneuvers with horses.  
Kathrine couldn’t help but admire his horse. It was a beautiful black mare. She seemed to be very well behaved. Kathrine would even describe his behavior towards the horse as kind. Kathrines own mare was a dark dusty grey. The two horses seemed to get along quite well which please Kathrine because her horse seemed to be a bit solitary. _I guess her personality fits me perfectly then._

At the end of the day he dismissed her when a messenger came and informed Levi that Erwin wished to speak with him. He had rolled his eyes and headed off somewhere. She was grateful because he wasn’t headed towards the mess hall yet. She hurried there, quickly grabbed her food sat down at his table and practically shoved her food down her throat. Now that she was assigned to him she definitely didn’t want to get on his bad side by getting caught sitting at his table again. When she finished she cleaned up her mess and left. She felt like she needed to take a walk. It had been a while since she’d last been able to, so she decided now was good time. 

She found herself by the horse stables. She hadn’t really paid attention to where she was going. She just went. She sat down against the side of the building and looked at the stars. Not even thinking about anything. Just watching. But then her mind began to wonder. She’d actually enjoyed the intense workout. No one else had ever been able to push her that far because no one could push themselves that far. The cold hadn't been as bad as she expected either. She had quickly warmed up from the workout. She lost herself to her thoughts on how she could improve her different maneuvers. 


	4. Going home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just another day in the survey corps. Kathrine isn’t very good and getting comfortable in new places with new people. It takes time. But thankfully she has the patience and the time.

The months preparing for the expedition felt like they only lasted weeks. Kathrine spent most of her time practicing drills and focusing on keeping up with the recently promoted Captain Levi. It wasn’t the maneuvering drills that demanded her focus, it was the _cleaning._

At first he just ran her through maneuvering skills, but one day Captain Levi met her by the usual tree in the practice field. Except this time he wasn’t wearing his gear. After five days of hard training were they finally doing something else?

”Obviously your skills are good enough for me to tolerate.” Coming from him it was like being praised. She almost smiled, “But,” he said. _Uh oh._ She thought. “If you’re going to work under me then your cleaning better match your maneuvering.”   
“I’m sorry sir I don’t think I understand.” She started. “What exactly is it that we’re doing?”   
“How about you be patient enough for me to explain.” His voice didn’t change but she winced anyways. He didn’t even have to change anything about how he spoke and yet it felt as though he snapped at her. It seemed he got the snapping part across with just his eyes. His eyes spoke volumes about his temper, and he wielded that to his advantage.   
“Now that I’m officially a squad leader I’ve been moved to the squad leaders quarters- obviously. The problem is that the room I’ve been assigned hasn’t been used in years.” He had calmed down at some point in the process of explaining this. “Since you’re under my command I suppose I might as well have you join me today in cleaning because if you’re going to be working under me than you need to know how to clean properly. Consider this a test. Ditch the gear. I’ll see you there in 10.” He turned without another word and walked off. That was something about him that Kathrine had noticed was different. He didn’t really do the dismissing or saluting thing.   
  
They spent the rest of the day cleaning out the dusty room. Kathrine hadn’t exactly been the best cleaner but she quickly learned that she’d have to put in as much effort here as she did to her training. The man was an absolute clean freak. All it took was one lousy half assed screw up for her to figure that out. When they’d finally finished moving his stuff in -which wasn’t very much- it was nearly dinner.   
  
“Not bad I suppose.” He stood facing the bedroom window. He’d been placed on the second story. His window had a nice view of the horse stables and the forest they used for training beyond it. He noticed she was still standing there awkwardly. “I’ll see you at dinner.” He said turning his back to her. “Go get cleaned up. You have dust all over your clothes.” She backed out of the room and left the building heading for the woman’s barracks.

~~~

Levi watched her from the window of his new -and clean- bedroom. Her cleaning skills were lamentable in the beginning, especially with that stunt she pulled with the line of dirt she couldn’t get into the pan, but she had so rapidly improved that he decided to over look it.   
He’d spent a long lonely year snapping at people for the smallest things and pushing absolutely everyone away. But she wasso adept when it came to her skill with the odm gear. Even he’d be insane to pass up the opportunity of having her on a team. She was so quiet most of the time but he could practically see the gears in her head continuously turning.   
She was very different from the strange red head who obviously had some kind of grudge against her.   
The redhead came to him a few days ago. She sauntered over to his table one night at dinner. “So I think you should know that, Kathrine Silver, the weird blonde girl, has been sitting in your seat when you’re not here. I don’t know what makes her think she has the right,” she let out a flirtatious little giggle, “but you’ve probably noticed by now that she’s very strange. A man of your cleverness and strength probably doesn’t need to be told this by some pretty little girl like me, but you should just be careful around her.”   
Levi had only stared at her with growing disdain at every word out of her mouth. She was laying it on thick and he didn’t like it one bit. He hated when people like her approached him. It wasn’t like Hange’s friendly outgoingness. It was soaked in slimy intentions.   
“Thanks for the heads up I’ll be sure to keep an eye out.” He replied dryly. He turned his attention back to his stew.   
“Well of course there’s no need to thank me!” She seemed to have completely missed his sarcasm. How the hell could someone be so self absorbed that they couldn’t notice sarcasm? “What are friends for?” She said the last part with a wink.   
Now Levi was _really_ annoyed. “You’re dismissed.” He said. Her face fell a little as she finally seemed to understand he wanted to be left alone. It had come down to him pulling rank to get the point across. Levi rarely used rank and the fact that it took that to get her oily presence away from him just annoyed him all the more. It wasn’t that she was ugly, in fact she was considered very attractive by most standards, but he could sense something off about her. Maybe he should start enforcing rank a bit more. It might help keep the annoying people like her away. There would always be more. Better to build up his reputation in a more intimidating manner while he still had the chance. In an odd way his career as a scout was just beginning he realized. He hadn’t really thought about it before but now that he was he realized he didn’t plan on leaving and he sure as hell didn’t plan on dying. In the past year he’d built his reputation as a scout soldier up pretty well. It was easy to just kill titans. It got his mind off of all the death. But during all this time he hadn’t built up any reputation for his personality. This would need to change.   
  
He decided then staring out his new bedroom window at the view it had to offer that he didn’t mind Kathrine sitting at his table. She would be the first step in building up his reputation. She was quiet, small, yet strong, and very perceptive. She seemed to understand when he wanted to get a specific point across and he especially liked that. No her presence would not bother him. And hopefully people would begin to learn from her example. But most of all he was concerned that if she kept up this dodgy system of eating only when he wasn’t around just so she’d have a place to sit than she might pass out one day in the middle of an exercise. She had slowly started looking more faint after an exercise. It wasn’t that he missed the company of others. Nothing could replace calm thoughtfulness of Furlan or the eccentric energy of Isabel. But she didn’t act like most others did around him. She didn’t gawk at him or try to get to know him better by asking nosy questions. And it would be satisfying to throw that redhead girls repulsively sultry warning back in her face.

~~~

As Kathrine entered the mess hall she saw Captain Levi had already claimed his seat. She got her food and then awkwardly stood by the kitchen door. She tried catching someone’s eye to see if they’d be willing to take pity on her, but it seemed people were avoiding her eyes on purpose. As she walked passed a table the people sitting there actually covered up any empty spots. They were casual about it but she got the message loud and clear. _Somebody’s been busy spreading rumors._ She realized. _And I think I know who._ Sure enough she saw a smirking face with green eyes framed by red hair watching her from a few tables over. Kathrine was ready to just go eat in the kitchen when she heard a heavy exasperated sigh off to her left. She looked over to see Captain Levi looking at her with his chin resting on his folded hands. He had a cup of dark steaming liquid in front of him but no plate that Kathrine could see. Did he not eat often? He smoothly kicked the bench across from him out from under the table and gestured to it with a nod of his head.   
More grateful to this man than she was to the protection of the walls she made her way over to the bench he’d kicked out and sat down at the opposite end from him.   
“Thank you.” She mumbled into her stew.   
He seemed to have heard her even with all the chatter. “Don’t mention it.” He said. And it seemed like he really meant it. Actually having time to eat instead of shove the food down her throat Kathrine took the time to actually observe the room. 

In the center of the room Kiaras smirk had deformed into a scowl. The girls around her didn’t seem to notice though as they talked about the upcoming expedition. Kathrine wasn’t really bothered by Kiara. If anything the girl reminded her of a mosquito. A pain that was hard to get rid of, but not life threatening or really dangerous in any way. There was plenty of more important things to think about.

Out of the 17 new recruits 6 were girls including Kathrine. The other 5 all seemed to stick together since they already knew each other. Aside from Kiara they weren’t really mean but they loved to gossip. Two veteran girls seemed to have decided they like sitting with them in meal time. They weren’t really as talkative as the new girls. It was obvious they were veterans. They had the look in their eyes and talked less. But nonetheless they still enjoyed listening to the talkative gossip of the newer recruits.

The guys from her training corps had actually mostly spread out. A few stuck together here and there but the solemn mood of the veterans seemed to have spread to them. They had been rambunctious in camp but it seemed the understanding that they were leaving the safety of the walls soon seemed to have hit them. 

They tables weren’t only all guys and all girls though. One table was full of a mixture. The thing was, they were all veterans who hadn’t allowed anyone new to sit with them. They weren’t really mean about it but they did refer to any new recruits as “greenhorns”. 

Other than that it was mixtures here and there. Kathrine could still feel green burning eyes on her as she returned to her food. She didn’t understand why on earth Kiara had chosen the scouts. All she had talked about in training was how she was going to become an MP and protect the king and marry some Nobel or something stupid like that. But she hadn’t made it into the top ten. But why not just go for the garrison? Was she really so high up on her horse that she thought she could just join the scouts and become some famous hero? _Who knows what the hell goes on in that girls mind._ Kathrine only sighed and finished her meal.

~~~

The days flew by and Kathrines strength returned in full now that she was properly eating again. She spent most of her time practicing with Captain Levi or doing whatever else assignment he gave her. Usually Saturdays were the days people used to kick back and get any cleaning done. But Kathrine kept her area so organized and clean already that there wasn’t much to do in that aspect. Some recruits used the day to go into the nearby village but she never got an invitation to go along with anyone so she hadn’t even been into the village yet. She instead spent her first Saturday wondering around not really sure what to do with herself. She ended up at the horse stables. Usually cleaning them was assigned as punishment. Or the task was just rotated to different soldiers when it needed to be done, but having nothing else to do with herself Kathrine began cleaning. She finished an hour before dinner giving her time to clean herself up beforehand. She decided she would just do the same thing again next Saturday. She supposed she could make a comfortable habit out of this. Levi had allowed her to continue eating with him. The other scouts were obviously surprised by it but seemed to lose interest quickly in the shadow of the upcoming expedition. 

One Saturday while she was cleaning out the stables she was startled by a woman who was standing behind her as she was mucking out a stall.   
Kathrine jumped ever so slightly not having heard her approach.   
“Ah! I’m sorry! Didn’t mean to scare you like that!” This woman was bubbling with energy. Kathrine recognized her as the one that sat at the Squad leader table with Erwin. She seemed to talk a lot. She wore glasses and had an unnervingly friendly smile. Her short chestnut brown hair was up in a messy ponytail.   
“We haven’t met yet but I’m Squad leader Zoe Hange!”  
Kathrine put her first over her heart ”It’s very ni-“   
"Oh no! No need to salute me, we’re just talking like two friendly chums!” Hange exclaimed.   
“Oh, forgive me Miss Hange. I’m so used to protocol by now. It’s a force of habit.” Kathrine wipe off her right hand and extended it for a handshake, “It’s nice to meet you I’m-“  
Hange practically jumped forward grabbing Kathrines hand in both of hers. “Kathrine Silver! I’ve been _dying_ to get to know you, but you know how it is with this expedition coming up.” Hange waved her hand through the air as if shooing a fly. “But you graduated top of your class right? That’s amazing! I was in the top ten but Mike took first place when we were training together. Anyways I’m so glad you decided to join us in our fight for humanity!” Her voice had progressively gotten louder as she spoke. “Well I better get back to it! I’ve got a lot of preparation to do for the upcoming expedition. Ta-ta!” And just like that she strolled off. _What the hell just happened??_ That was by far one of the oddest, loudest, most outgoing people Kathrine had _ever_ met.

~~~ 

A week before the expedition while she and Levi were taking a break on a tree branch when he decided they needed to go over a few important details for the expedition.   
  
“You need to know what to expect a week from now.”   
He so rarely spoke that she jumped a little when his voice broke the silence.   
“You remember that long distance formation you were taught in training? Or at least should’ve been taught. I never went so I don’t know what exactly they teach you in there.”   
“Yes sir, we went over it.”   
“Good. Follow me.”   
With that he jumped off the branch and sailed through the trees. Kathrine was already right behind him. She knew that if she wasn’t careful he’d leave her in the dust. She was getting used to reading his body movements. Although it was difficult. His posture was always laid back yet proper at the same time. He never slouched or hunched over but he had careless and smooth body language.

They landed outside of the tree line and he headed towards the office building. He led her to the classroom like room that was usually used for debriefings. There was a paper tacked on the wall depicting the long range formation.   
Levi walked over to it and pointed to a spot off to the top right corner. “We’re going to be here. I expect you to keep pace with me and follow my lead. You’re good, you’ve proven that much. But out there is a different story. You freeze up, you die. Don’t think I’ll be there to save your sorry ass if you screw up. Because chances are I won’t. We’re done for today.” He left leaving Kathrine standing in the room by herself wide eyed.

~~~  
  
Levi walked down the hall lost in thought. Erwin had assigned squads to Levi in the past but they never lasted long. Not because they died but because Levi just didn’t have the patience to be dealing with other people at the time. He was usually empathetic towards people even if he hid it. But for almost a year now he was almost always grumpy. They always came in groups too. The scouts didn’t like to have groups of less than 4. But Levi hadn’t wanted to deal with so many people. It had almost been a year since _they_ died and he chose to stay with the scouts. He had wanted people to leave him alone. The wound was healing but slowly. Levi didn’t really think it would ever actually close. If this girl died on his watch it would only add to the guilt he felt. He hoped his harsh words would sink in and keep her alive on the expedition. 

He stopped in front of a door just like all the others in the hallway and knocked.   
“Come in.” Erwin said from the other side. The door opened with a slight creak. “Ah Levi I was wondering when you would come see me. How are things with the new recruit?”   
Levi sat down in the chair without being told. “Her skills are exceptional, and thankfully her personality along with them.”  
“Well I’m glad to hear it. You seem to be in an exceptional mood yourself today.” Levi was feeling better today than he had in quite some time. He wasn’t entirely sure why but he just did. “Things just seem to be going smoothly at the moment.”   
“I take it you’re happy with your new personal quarters?”   
“After a good cleaning. Yes.”   
“I thought that might be the case.”   
It was a stiff conversation but still better than most of the conversations people tried to have with him. Levi in a way admired Erwin. This mans determination in restoring humanity was admirable. Levi definitely couldn’t deny that. If he had to tie himself to being under someone’s command the rest of his life he supposed this was the best option. So why not?

”I’d like to discuss a few things with you about some paperwork I received...” Levi began talking about the main reason he’d come to Erwins office now that they had gotten the pointless part of the conversation out of the way.

~~~

The rest of the month passed and finally the expedition was upon them. Everyone was buzzing with energy. Excitement, tension, fear, and a mix of other emotions. They were all up before sunrise. Kathrine put her pale golden hair back into a tight long braid. It had grown out so rapidly after she joined the military and was able to stop pretending to be a boy. It was now almost all the way down to her waist. It was thick, wavy, and seemed to have a mind of its own. But as long as she ran a brush through it at least once a day it didn’t seem to really tangle. She didn’t have a mirror or anything to see herself in so she just hoped it was decent enough, she then strapped on her gear and headed to the mess hall. Everyone quickly ate breakfast and immediately went to the stables to began saddling up the horses. Once she had her horse saddled up she helped a few recruits finish loading up the wagons with items that could only be loaded last minute. By the time the first light of dawn could be seen the Scout regiment was well on its way towards Shiganshina district. Commander Shadis was at the head of the group. Captain Erwin close behind him, followed by his squad.   
  
Kathrine kept pace with Levi as instructed. It only took an hour for them to reach the gates of Shiganshina. The wall could be seen off in the distance from hq but Shiganshina was still some distance away. As they all rode through the still sleeping city, Kathrine took the chance to really look around at the city. She hadn’t been here since she was a kid. It seemed completely unchanged from what she could remember. A small crowd was gathered here and there to see them leave. Kathrine saw mostly grim faces, but her heart lifted when she saw flashes of hope here and there. A woman paused in the middle of shaking out a dirty rug from a second story window to watch them pass. The quiet was unnerving. Kathrine felt like she was on her way to attend a funeral. Maybe she was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this chapter is a bit misleading, I actually named it after the Scottish song often played on bagpipes at funerals. I pretty much decided to name it this because of Kathrines thoughts at the end of the chapter. For this chapter I did a lot of research on interviews with Hajime Isayama regarding Levi. I personally find Levi’s character a bit hard to pinpoint. Especially since my story takes place not long after Furlans and Isabels deaths. I felt like Levi probably would’ve isolated himself for a time but eventually warms up to people again (in the way that Levi would warm up to anyone). At the moment I actually don’t really like my oc’s character too much but I’m trying to start her off as a sort of blank slate so she can have character development. Considering the life of isolation she’s grown up in I feel that a quiet unsocial person fits her right now. Eventually I want to throw in things that kind of kindle the fire within. I’ve tried throwing in hints here and there that she definitely has a temper but lacks the will or motivation to really put it to use. So in a way I suppose this is a story about a girl learning to finally stand up for herself.


	5. Free fall part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Outside the walls who knows what will happen.

“OPEN THE GATES!”   
The call echoed all around them. And the grating sound of metal against metal filled the air.   
  
When the gate had been raised high enough Commander Shadis raised his fist in the air, “Scouts, forward!” He urged his horse forward into a gallop and everyone followed his lead.   
  
There was 110 soldiers. More so than usual for an expedition. But then again this one was kind of a big deal. In past expeditions the scouts had actually managed to build a small base in a forest. They had usually taken refuge in the ruins of a fort outside of the walls. But they wanted to progress further out. So they had built a another base even further out. It was a small victory but big news not just for the military but also for the citizens within the walls. Maybe there was hope to reclaim the world after all. This expedition was about bringing supplies to that little base.   
  
As Kathrine passed through the wall her breath caught in her throat. This was it. She was _really_ going outside the walls. Fear was not the right description for the lump in her throat. She could die out here but she did not fear. Fear would not save her. Fear would not save humanity. Fear would not accomplish. She had no room for fear. Not out here. Not against the titans. She could truly think of worse ways to die. But this was only when it came to her dying. What about other people? She didn’t want to see other people die out here. No matter who they were.   
  
As they came out of the walls they began to spread out assuming Erwins long distance formation. She made sure to keep pace with Levi but still with him in the lead. They rode for some time occasionally changing course at the signal of a flare gun. At one point there was an abnormal on the left front of the formation. Kathrine hoped everyone had made it out of the way in time.   
  
They rode mostly through grassy plains staying away from the forests hiding titans within them.   
  
Kathrine looked at a small forest to her right. Birds flew out of the trees near the edge.   
“Captain Levi!”   
He looked back at her still keeping pace. “What is it?”   
“Over there!” She pointed to the forest tree line where the birds had flown out of but it was still now. No birds and nothing seeming unusual. But Levi watched carefully anyways.   
Suddenly a titan burst out of the trees sprinting towards them. It teetered from side to side as it ran.   
“Shit!” She heard him say as he urged his horse faster. “I think it’s an abnormal.” He shouted back to her.   
Her horse seemed to know to go faster without her having to push it. She took only a few seconds to load a black flare into the gun and shoot it.   
“Sir if we circle back around a little bit we might be able to use the trees. And even if there’s more I’m confident we could handle them.”   
He didn’t answer for a few minutes and she thought he might not have heard her. She opened her mouth to call to him but then he answered.   
“I’m not taking that risk. We’ll separate and see who it follows. The other can come back around and cut it down.”   
She nodded her head with a determined look on her face and awaited his signal. He waved his arm to his right and veered left. She angled her horse off to the right and made a large arc back around with the titan on her tail. It seemed like Levi would be getting this kill. She could see him out of the corner of her eye racing over. She looked behind her at the titan. It had stopped chasing her and crouched down on all fours. As soon as she registered what was about to happen the titan leaped forward knocking her off her horse. She rolled across the grass a few feet away. The breath was knocked from her lungs but she tried to get up anyways gasping for air. Her horse was stumbling in front of the titan. It looked like the poor thing has broken its front left leg. The titan was on all four behind it and looked as though it had dove face first into the dirt. It stumbled forward trying to get back on its two feet. It fell forward on top of her horse in the process.   
“No!” But she knew it was pointless. If the horse had broken it’s leg there was nothing to be done anyways. “Damn it.” She muttered. The titan stumbled forward again but a black blur flashed across its back causing it to halt halfway standing up and then fall back to the earth. It didn’t try to get up again.   
Levi walked over to her and spoke with the same voice as always, as if he hadn’t just saved her from a titan, “let’s see what we can salvage from your horse. It looks like you’ll have to ride with me until we can find a squad with spares.” He didn’t even sound winded.   
“Yes sir.” She said. She sounded sadder than she liked. _It’s just an animal._ She told herself. _Yeah but an animal I really liked._  
They walked over to the decaying titan together. Levi whistled for his horse who promptly came trotting over to nudge the captain. What was left of her horse lay at the titans feet. She tried not to pay attention to _what_ she was touching as she pulled her rations, the flair guns, and the flairs, out of the bags. Her bed roll was as useful as rags at that point so she decided not to bother with it. She began wiping the blood and dirt off the flair gun to the best of her ability but her hands were already so covered in dirt and blood that it was no use.   
“Here. Use this.” The Captain handed her a pristine white rag. She felt bad for soiling it but she was grateful to him nonetheless.   
He mounted his horse and pulled her up behind him. They then continued at a brisk pace. She found it _very_ odd to be so close to him. Sure they had to get close in training before but being pressed up against his back like this was a bit different. She banished any thoughts from her head and focused on their surroundings. No point in thinking about silly things like that out here. She needed to focus.  
  
They luckily didn’t really encounter any other abnormal titans for the next hour of riding. There were normal ones here and there that they easily avoided. They arrived at the fort ruins right behind another squad. They dismounted Levi’s horse and he tied it to a post with other horses. Then went inside, Kathrine following close behind him. Levi immediately found Commander Shadis in the midst of the chaos. It seemed there were some casualties.   
“Levi squad checking in. No casualties, sir.” Levi said saluting. Kathrine gaped for a moment surprised to see Levi salute someone. She quickly caught herself and followed suit though.   
“Good thank you.” Shadis said though he was obviously distracted. He was watching Erwin calm down a man sitting on a crate crying. He was covered in blood. There were a couple others gathered around him in not much better shape. “The left front took quite a hit.” Shadis explained. “Three squads lost people. Five in total. Ten are severely injured.” Levi only turned and walked away. Kathrine hesitated for only a moment then followed him.   
  
~~~ 

Later that night things had seemed to calm down a bit. All 105 soldiers had been split up into three different groups for the night. Each group in a different room so that there was enough space for everyone to lay down and sleep. Levi decided he’d stay in the room where Erwin was along with Mike’s and Hange’s squad. Levi watched people settle in for the night as he sat leaning up against the wall. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Kathrine sitting with her head on her knees staring at the floor. She had looked upset about her horse. Levi actually felt a little bad for it. She’d held herself together pretty well in front of the titan though. She hadn’t even looked afraid as it charged at her. She just looked like she was ready to face whatever happened. _Wait until she sees one tearing through the people around her._ He thought somewhat bitterly. He wasn’t bitter towards her but the titans. _No one should have to go through this hell._ What the hell had this girl been through though? She had kept calm in a situation that intense. Or maybe she was just naturally that way. No. People weren’t born like that. Everyone was molded into who they are. So what molded her? _She doesn’t have anything to sleep on,_ he realized.   
Levi got up and grabbed his bedroll. “Here.” He said tossing it to her. “She caught it last minute jerking out of whatever trance she’d been in. “Get some rest.” He said and sat back down.   
She looked at him with wide eyes. “Thank you, sir” She unrolled it, laid down and closed her eyes falling asleep.

~~~

 _Kathrine stood in a dim warehouse. She recognized this place. She’d been here before. There was just enough light to see the boxes around her. But not much else. “Hello?” She said. Not even an echo. She tried finding her way through the maze of boxes. As she came around the corner of some crates she saw a door in the wall. There was a little bit of light peaking out from the cracks around the doorframe. She cautiously walked forward. She hesitated to put her hand on the door knob though. Why was this place so familiar? Something about it seemed very wrong. She felt like the answer was so obvious. As though it was looking her in the face. Maybe the answer was behind this door? She forced herself to open it and look inside.  
As soon as she did she regretted it. She saw her mothers mutilated body in the oddly bright room. There was no light source yet every detail was painfully clear.   
__But the most terrifying part of all was that it wasn’t her mothers wide empty eyes and face that she saw. It was her own._  
  
~~~ 

Kathrine woke with a gasp. She took a moment to catch her breath before she realized she heard the noise of low voices. _How long was I out? What time is it?  
_ “I don’t think they’re going to make it through the rest of night.”   
_Are they talking about the injured survivors?_ She wondered, the dream already fading from her mind.  
“It doesn’t seem like they’ll survive the rest of the journey even if they did.” Commander Shadis voice said quietly.   
“They’ll have a better chance if they stay here.” Erwins voice rang out. “Maybe we can get a few people to volunteer to stay and care for them while we continue with the mission.”   
“As uncomfortable as that makes me...” Shadis left the thought unfinished.

Someone close to her sighed and from the sound of it stood up. Kathrine looked in the direction of the noise to see Captain Levi stretching. He looked down and saw her watching him. He only raised an eyebrow.   
“I’m going to take watch.” He said quietly. “Go back to sleep.”   
“Wait, sir,” Kathrine sat up. “Do you mind if I come with you?”   
He only shrugged and began walking away. Kathrine jumped up as quickly and quietly as possible. She followed him out of the room and up a short flight of stairs. They came out onto a little crumbling tower. It was the highest vantage point that was left of the little ruins. At the top they found two scouts sitting in tense silence.   
“Hey.” The both jumped at the sound of Captain Levi’s voice. “We’ll take over from here. You guys go get some rest.”   
They both thanked them and left quickly.   
Levi took up perch peering out into the darkness. Kathrine sat on the ground and studied their surroundings. They sat in silence for a while.  
“You had a bad dream.” He wasn’t asking a question, she realized.   
“yes.”   
“Titans?”   
“No sir.” She chewed on her lip.   
He finally turned his eyes towards her.   
She peered up at him, “How did you know?” She asked.   
He looked back into the dark. “You were talking in your sleep but it was just obvious more than anything.”   
Was she? She hadn’t remembered saying anything. What really bothered her more than anything though was the fact that she hadn’t been able to recognize the warehouse in her dream, when she remembered it in painful detail every day.  
“Oh. What did I say?”   
“‘No.’ That’s it. Is that why you wanted to come up here?”   
She took a deep breath. “That’s part of the reason. The fresh air helps I suppose. Although most importantly is the stars. The moon too. They’re so beautiful I could lose myself and all my problems in them. They’re so deep and vast.” She said wistfully.  
“Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk that much.”  
She ducked her head, “Sorry sir.”   
“What? Why are you apologizing? I don’t mind it. I honestly wish I’d appreciated the stars and moon a bit more the first time I saw them.”   
She thought for a moment. _The first time I saw them... “_ So the rumors about you being from the underground are true then?”   
He didn’t answer. Well now she just felt bad for being nosy. What gave her the right to ask her superior such a personal question?   
But he surprised her by answering. “Yes. The rumors are true.” He was looking up at the stars.   
“Oh.” Was all she could think to say. Suddenly a ridiculous thought popped into her head. “Hey, what do you call a star that’s good at battle strategy?”  
“Huh?” He looked at her obviously caught off guard by her odd question. He look at the ground as though actually considering it. “Hmm... I’m not sure, what?”   
“Startegic.” She said with a straight expression.   
He just stared at her, his lips ever so slightly parted as though he couldn’t process the realization that this quiet serious girl had just made such a ridiculous pun.   
She just looked at the ground with a shy but proud smile. He blew out an exasperated breath and shook his head. But as he turned his attention back to the darkness around them his lips were shaped into the tiniest little smile. 


	6. Free Fall Part 2

The next day they were up before the sun. Kathrine despite her lack of sleep felt ready to go. She was issued a new horse thankfully but she was still sad about what had happened to the last. The 10 who had been injured were to stay behind in the ruins with 5 more to care for them. At this point they were basically down by 15 or so. They resumed Erwins long distance formation taking into account the missing 20 and continued on their way. The arrived at the edge of the forest and took care of any titans there.   
  
Kathrine was a bit nervous about the gathering of clouds off in the distance, it seemed she wasn’t the only one.

It was explained that there would be three groups, A, B, and C. Attack, bait, and cargo. Bait would keep Titans at the edge of the forest away from the cargo, attack would dispatch of any titans, and cargo would unload the supply carts and put them in the little wooden shack.   
Kathrine was to be in group A alongside Captain Levi.   
“Alright let’s secure the area!” The Commander yelled.

~~~  
  
Things had gone horribly wrong horribly fast. People were dying left and right. Neither Kathrine nor Levi had time to worry about that though. Between the rain and the titans they had bigger things to worry about.   
  
Kathrine had ended up becoming leader of group B because their leader had fallen and they almost broke formation. A lot of group B were dead. And even worse the shack had been destroyed. It was all that foolish girls fault. Kathrine was furious with Kiara. But it didn’t matter because she was dead.   
Shortly after the leader of group B fell Kiara along with two others became panicked and broke formation. An abnormal was running rampant and they had chosen to hide instead of do their jobs. In the end they paid for it but dragged everyone down with them. They abandoned their horses and attempted hiding inside the shack. The area had been temporarily abandoned by group C until The abnormal was taken down. All they could do was watch and yell from the trees above as Kiara and her two followers led the titan straight to the cargo. As group B saw the break in formation and the destruction of the reason this whole operation had been launched they began to crack.   
  
Kathrine let out a curse and abandoned A formation.   
“Silver get back over here!” Someone (probably her Captain) shouted.   
She ignored him. She swooped down from the trees and grabbed her horse, then ran directly into the fray.   
“B formation with me!” She could only pray they would listen. Miraculously four did. That was all it took. As the rest of B formation saw her taking lead they began flocking to her. She could only let out a short lived sigh of relief. She turned to the man to her left, “Group B! Reverse net formation!” She was thankful she took the time to study all the terms. She hadn’t earned number one in her class for nothing though. They formed a horizontal line to the forest edge it seemed to be working as they led the titans away from the forest.   
“Retreat!”   
“Fall back!”   
The calls rang out across the trees.   
_DAMNIT! If we continue leading the titans out of the forest the soldiers on their horses will be easy pickings._  
She pulled her horse to a near stop and the soldiers followed her lead.   
“What the hell do you think you’re doing!?” The woman to her right shouted.   
“We have to lead the titans away or anyone on horses out of this tree line is done for!” She explained. “We gotta reverse formation and lead them away!”   
She didn’t wait for further protest she just turned and rode. Hopefully they would understand. It seemed that they had as she heard them right beside her urging their horses on. They ran past and around the titans already on their tails. She did her best to tune out the screams of both men and horses. Those deaths were on her and she knew it.   
  
All of the sudden she was no longer on her horse but flying through the air. She hit the ground hard feeling like her lungs had collapsed. She scrambled to her feet gasping not giving the titan that had knocked her off her horse (or her lungs for that matter) a chance to catch up with her. She was immediately zipping through the air on her ODM gear. She landed on a branch gasping for breath. She could see what was left of group B still charging away from the forest edge leading the titans away from the retreating men. She took a step forward ready to get back into the action, but a firm grasp around her arm stopped her.   
“Retreat. There’s nothing you can do for them without your horse.” She turned to face her Captain.   
“But sir th-“   
“Thats an order Silver.”   
She hung her head. “Yes sir.”   
She followed behind him, guilt weighing her down. He managed to find his horse and hopped on without hesitation pulling her up behind him.   
“Hold on tight.” He commanded barely giving her time to process his words before he took off. 

~~~  
  
As they retreated back to the castle ruins Kathrine fought off drowsiness. Her adrenaline had slowly ebbed away leaving her exhausted. She wanted nothing more than to lay her head against Captain Levi’s back and close her eyes but she was on full alert. Her grip tight around his chest.

The ride back to the ruins was simply a race for survival. As they crested the hill and the ruins came into view Kathrine felt her Captain gasp under her hands. It took her a few minutes to process what she saw. The ruins had been over run by titans. What was left of them being smashed apart. 

“Damnit!” Captain Levi yelled looking around for either Commander Shadis or Erwin. Commander Shadis was only staring in absolute frozen shock and horror. Erwin yelled something at him that obviously wasn’t being heard.   
“All soldiers to me!” Erwin shouted. He immediately had everyone’s attention even the Commanders. Erwin turned his horse to the northeast and ran everyone following behind. 

She felt useless. There was nothing she could do in this situation and she hated it. The biggest flaw about the ruins they had set up base in was that it was out in the grassy plaines far from any trees. The ODM gear useless and horses their only chance of survival.

Kathrine lost track of time as they rode. Eventually they slowed then stopped entirely. Captain Levi only looked around them catching his breath for a few minutes.

Erwin and the Commander talked quietly for a few minutes. The woman right beside them listening. She nodded her head at something Erwin said, then she pulled out a flare gun and fired it into the sky. A green trail forming in the sky. Unsurprisingly Erwin turned towards everyone waiting in tense silence. “We will wait to see if anyone else is nearby. Then we leave in ten.” It only made sense that he would be calling the shots at this point with Shadis in such a broken state of mind.

Captain Levi reached down into his saddle bag and grabbed something from it.   
“Here.” He reached back and handed Kathrine a canteen. “Drink.” Kathrine could only stare at it at first. “Hurry up I’m thirsty too.”   
“Right, yes sir.” She hadn’t realized how thirsty she was until she took her first gulp. She wanted to drink it all but stopped herself at four gulps. The Captain had said he was thirsty too. She passed it back to him mumbling a shell shocked thank you.   
Three people came riding up, two girls that Kathrine recognized as graduates from her class and a man she only recognized from chow time. Both girls had obviously been crying and had hysterical looks on their faces. One looked like she was going to break down and start crying again any second. Seeing how ridiculous they looked made Kathrine think to check her own expression. She took a few deep breaths to calm her mind and shed her shell shocked expression. She took in her surroundings and was surprised to see a wagon of supplies had somehow survived the panic. A man somewhere off to her left was crying over what looked like an arm. Kathrine involuntarily tightened her grip on the Captain. He looked over his shoulder seeming a little startled and followed her line of sight. “Hey.” His voice pulled her attention away from the arm. “Best not to think about it right now.” She loosened her grip and took a deep breath. “It’s not the first time and won’t be the last.” He told her.  
 _He’s right._ She thought to herself _Worrying about it fixes nothing._ She gave him a firm nod which seemed to satisfy him enough that he turned back around.  
“Alright,” Erwin called out “times up everyone move out! We’re keeping a close form formation! This is a race to the walls! You either make it or you die!” He charged off and everyone took off right behind him.   
“Hold tight.” Her Captain commanded. She felt his chest rumble against her hand as he spoke. She tightened her grip right as he took off.   
The sun was dipping towards the end of the sky barely visible through the fading clouds. The rain had finally stopped leaving behind a blanket of humidity. 

~~~ 

They rode all through the night thankfully without incident. Kathrine hung tightly to Captain Levi. By the time the sun had risen the wall could faintly be seen off in the distance. Kathrine had at some point become tired enough that she rested her cheek on his back. His hair tickling her forehead felt so distant and far away. She could barely even register any feeling in her body she was so detached.   
  
~~~ 

She could only hide her face in his back as they passed through the gates. Even Captain Levi hung his head a little. She didn’t want to see the people gathered around. She couldn’t bear to see the disappointment in their faces. An old woman came out of the crowed crying out for a man named Moses. She looked up to see the man who had the arm handing it to her now wrapped up in a rag. Kathrine quickly looked away gripping Captain Levi even tighter burying her face in his hair. He urged his horse on past the woman talking with the commander. She couldn’t process what was being said. As they moved away from the commotion the Captain put his hands over hers. “You’re trembling, try taking a deep breath.” He said gently. She was slightly taken aback at his gentleness. She took a few deep breaths and tried to calm her nerves. She hated how much it had shaken her up. She wasn’t new to this kind of thing. So why did the arm bother her so much?  
“I’m sorry sir.” She said and once again loosened her hold.  
“No need to be. You're holding yourself together better than most would on their first mission. Especially considering how badly this one went.” He urged the horse on.   
  
~~~ 

They arrived back at their base. A few hours later. The injured were immediately rushed to the medical bay. Only a few people who weren’t injured remained and helped unsaddle and feed the horses. Kathrine and Captain Levi among them.  
  
“Captain Levi.” It was the woman with glasses, Hange.“ Commander Shadis and Erwin would like a word.” She didn’t seem her usual giddy self. She seemed solum and lost in thought.  
  
Captain Levi turned to Kathrine and handed her the reins to his horse. “Take care of him for me.” He said and walked away. Kathrine walked his exhausted horse into the stables and began the routine of brushing and feeding. As she finished Captain Levi appeared from around the corner. He gestured for her to follow him.   
“Commander Shadis is going to the interior for an important meeting. I’ve been asked to go along. You can come if you want... or you can stay and rest. The choice is yours.” They we’re headed towards the Officers barracks and he stopped where their paths would fork for her to go to the woman’s barracks. “We meet back at the stables in one hour if you decide to come.” He then walked away leaving her with the choice.

She walked to the barracks to shower and change. Although she was exhausted she was more afraid of what she might see if she closed her eyes and let her mind wonder.   



	7. Clipped feathers

Everyone had gathered up outside the stables and were ready to head out. Kathrine was surprised at how many people there were. They thankfully hadn’t taken everyone in the scouts into the mass slaughter. Almost half of their ranks had stayed behind and now it seemed a unit of them would be coming along to the capital. Kathrine turned to her Captain.   
“Why are so many people coming along? And if so many people are coming why do they need you to come?”   
“Apparently they need me because I’m of higher rank so I’m a reliable asset in a scenario like this. Although _what_ exactly this scenario is I have no clue. They didn’t explain.”   
  
~~~   
  
They rode all they way straight to the capital only stopping once to change out horses. The Commander led them all into what looked to be a courthouse.   
“Everyone file in and take a seat. You are all here as witnesses.” The Commander said. Kathrine was a little set on edge by the slightly unhinged look in his eyes. Did the failure of this mission finally push him over the edge?

Everyone did as ordered and filled in the seats of the courtroom. A man at the front of the room took a seat in what appeared to be the judges seat. He was an older man with mostly grey hair that might have once been black and an impressive beard. He didn't give Kathrine the impression of a cruel or bad man like most politicians or people in power did. "I am premier Zachary. I'm in charge of all three regiments and as such I shall be over seeing this change of command. Everyone have a seat." He had a powerful but not unkind voice. The few remaining people that had been standing quickly sat down. "Despite this being on such short notice I decided it might be for the best. Commander Keith Shadis, I received word that you wished to step down from your position of power and pass it over to Section Commander Erwin Smith. Anything to add to this?"

"No, Sir." Shadis was quiet but the room was so silent he was easily heard.

"Very well. Smith, do you have anything to add to this?" 

"No, Sir."

Primer Zachary sat back in his seat. "Well this seems to be a very cut and dry shift of power. I am of course required to ask that no one is being forced into anything here, although I doubt that's the case. If it is though speak up now." When no one said anything he stood. "Very well. I am going to need anyone of rank officer or higher to follow me to be witness to the signing of paperwork." He began walking away. People began standing and following him starting with the former Commander Shadis. Kathrine noticed that Erwin Caught Captain Levi's eye and gave a slight nod. 

_What was that about?_

Captain Levi then stood and followed them out of the room. Was his position not official yet or something? 

_No point in wondering about it. It's none of my business anyways._

As soon as they were out of sight people began chattering excitedly. No one had seen this coming but at the same time it wasn't a huge surprise. The man looked like he was about to snap any second. How could he not considering all that had happened. The mission was nothing more than a mass slaughter. And all that blood? It was on the Commanders hands.

_No. The mission would have been fine if it hadn't been for the idiot Kiara._

Kathrine would have beaten the girl half to death if she hadn't paid for her stupidity already. Was it wrong to be so angry at someone that was dead? Kathrine couldn't find it in her to feel guilty about it in any way. She had gotten what was coming to her. She didn't take joining the scouts seriously. She hadn't taken the threat of the titans seriously. And not even that but she had been a thorn in Kathrines side for years. There was a few time in fact that Kathrine would have killed Kiara herself if it weren't for the repercussions. She curled his hand into a fist in her lap. No point in thinking about it now. It was all in the past and there was nothing to be done. Keep moving forward. She could only keep moving forward. Kiara had paid for what she did with her life. Kathrine only prayed the soldiers she'd dragged down with her found peace.

After a while people began getting up and engaging in quiet conversation. 

"How long is this going to take?"

"Surely there's not that much paperwork."

"I can't believe he just handed it all over so easily!"

"Thank the walls he did. With Erwin in charge the scouts are going plac-" 

All the chatter was suddenly cut off by a man busting through the doors. 

"Is Premier Zachary here?" He shouted. He looked to be in the garrison regiment. "I have important news I need to speak with him and Commander Shadis immediately!"

"You just missed'em. But Shadis ain't the commander anymore. Erwin is." A man said. "What's with that wild look in your eyes? You look like you've seen a ghost. Maybe you should take a moment to calm down first."

"No you don't understand! It's the walls! Th- They've been breeched! I gotta find the Commander and Premier where are they?!" His voice had reached a higher pitch as he spoke.

Everyone was frozen in tense silence for a few moments. 

"Impossible!" Someone finally shouted. People began talking over each other the volume reaching uncomfortable high. 

"DAMNIT I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!" The man shouted over everyone. Everyone got quieter, a few people stopped talking all together. 

"They went to go sign paper work. They're somewhere in the building." A woman said to him. He ran out of the room without waisting another second. Not long after all the squad leaders, Commander Erwin, Shadis -What was his title now?-, and Premier Zachary came back into the room. 

"We've been alerted that there is a breech in wall Maria." The newly promoted Commander Erwin said. "We're going back to wall Rose to help hold off any advancing titans and get civilians to safety." He shook hands with Primer Zachary and left the room everyone following behind him. 

~~~

There was no telling how bad the damage was already. They rode at top speed all the way back to wall Rose. By now the sun was only a few hours away from setting. Their job was to hold off as many titans as possible near the wall and give people time to evacuate. Upon their arrival all they saw was complete chaos. They left their horses behind wall Rose and scaled the walls. There was no making it through that crowed of people pouring through the gates. At the top of the wall Kathrine saw a mass of people still stuck in Maria. 

"This isn't as bad as it was earlier." Said a Garrison guard to her right. She was helping load up the cannons. She had short platinum hair and glasses. "Good thing you guys are here we really need the backup." She turned back to her work before Kathrine could say anything. 

"Get moving this is no time to be standing around!" Captain Levis shout snapped her back into the reality of the situation. She followed him over the edge of the wall. There were titans off in the distance and the crowed of people below still hadn't gotten through the gate. 

The next few hours were a blur of near death experiences and pure chaos. They had managed to keep the titans at the edge of the town around the wall. The crowd of people were nearly through only a few stragglers here and there making their way through at this point. 

"Alright the gate is closing everyone retreat behind wall Rose!" The command was shouted across the ranks. Not that it was needed. The sound of the bell was loud and clear signaling the retreat. Kathrine abandoned the titan she had been baiting along and veered the opposite direction she had been leading it. Good timing too she didn't think she would hold out much longer. Most of the unit they had started out with where gone. They had eventually mixed in with the garrison squads that had joined them on the front lines. Kathrine swooped dangerously low and swung back up onto the roof of a building. It was best to conserve gas. She'd been out there a while and probably didn't have much left. She scanned to rooftops looking for her Captain. She has tried to stay near him in the midst of the chaos. She spotted a swift moving figure up ahead and to her left. She moved forward ready to catch up to it when she heard what sounded like crying. She froze in her tracks sliding across the roof. She frantically scanned the streets below. It had to be her imagination. There was no way a child was out here. She listened carefully. No that was definitely a child crying, but where? She checked to make sure no titans were nearby then got down on all fours leaning over the roof. It was coming from inside the building through the window. She blew out an aggravated breath. she launched herself off the roof and spun around hooking her gear and pulling herself in letting go just in time that she came crashing through the window and rolled across the floor. The shriek of a terrified child confirmed her suspicions. A child was huddled in the corner of the room, covering his face, furthest from the window. She could feel cuts all over her arms from the glass and she stood. She walked over to the child and held out a hand. "Lets go." She commanded. He looked up in shock having expected a titan hand to be reaching for him through the broken glass instead of a soldier there to rescue him. She wasn't really one for comfort but it didn't seem that she needed to be comforting anyways because the child was more than happy to accept her offered hand. Thankfully he was small enough that she could carry him. She prayed there was enough gas though. She checked out the window to make sure there were no titans nearby. She the scooped up the child. "Don't scream of they'll hear you." She said. Mostly she just didn't want him screaming in her ear. She waited a few minutes for the titan outside to go stomping past, the child whimpering quietly the entire time. When the stomping was far enough away she launched out swinging up onto the nearby roof. It was harder to use her momentum with the weight of the child. She was so light she could usually swing through the air no problem. 

The child clung to her so tightly she felt like he might actually leave a ring of a bruises around her back. _Is this how Captain Levi felt?_ She wondered. The wall was close now but she didn't see anyone else left except for her. She hopped from one roof to the other occasionally using her gear the help her make the jump. So close. The wall was so close now. Just one more roof. She made the jump only for an unexpected hand to rise from below knocking her forward. She landed on the roof but lost her grip on the child as she rolled her head slamming hard against the chimney. _No time._ She told herself clumsily getting to her feet. The boy sat near the edge of the roof thankfully. Unthankfully he was staring at a titan attempting the climb onto the roof. 

"MOVE!" She shouted snapping him out of his frozen state. He got up and limped towards her. His ankle was bleeding she realized. She ran to him meeting him halfway and snatched him up. She could hear distant shouting. Most likely people up on the wall. She managed to scale up the wall landing not as badly as she had on the roof below at least but still not her best work. She gently set the boy on the ground, silent tears rolling down his face. She bent over with her hands on her knees trying to catch her breath. Her head was so foggy and everything spinning.

"Silver!" Captain Levi ran over to her. "You're bleeding. Someone go get me a medic!" Three people moved at once all scrambling to obey his commanding voice. 

She pointed at the weeping boy not even noticing the blood dripping down her face. "The luck of this boy." She stood up straight and immediately regretted it when her vision went completely black. 


	8. Caged

Levi began his withdraw as he heard the bells and shouts. He risked a quick glance behind him and saw his only squad member following a distance behind. It was only when he got near the wall that he realized she was no longer behind him. He scanned in the direction he had last seen her but a titan slamming into a nearby roof interrupted his search. This wasn't the time or the place. He had to get on the wall. If she was dead then she was dead. There was no point in getting himself killed. _Damnit. Of course this happens as soon as I start to actually enjoy having someone else around me._ He scowled at what he had just admitted to himself. When he reached the top of the wall he leaned over the edge hoping to see a sign of life other than the titans. A flash of movement caught his sharp eyes. Someone was darting across the roof tops not too far away from the wall. He secretly hoped it was her. Others around him began to notice and started excitedly talking amongst each other. He lurched forward ever so slightly when and hand reached up from between two houses and she tripped over it. Whatever she was carrying had to be significantly heavy for her not to be able to dodge something he knew for a fact she could have easily dodged. He saw as it was knocked out of her hands it was a child. He winced when she smashed into the chimney. It was hard to tell from such a distance but it seemed she'd hit her head. His suspicion was confirmed when she stumbled almost falling over getting up. 

"Someone needs to do something!" Someone shouted.

"Yea right! how about _you_ go down there and do something!"

Levi got ready to jump down there himself. He backed up a little prepping to jump off the edge.

"Look she's coming up!" Levi looked back over the edge and sure enough she was on her way up with the child in her arms. She landed a little ways off to his left in a very ungraceful stumbling landing. She set the boy down and leaned against her knees gasping for air. He began sprinting towards her. As he slowed to a stop he noticed a thick trail of blood running down the side of her face but alarmingly a lot of it was on the side of her head making it hard to tell if it was just her hair making it seem like more than it was or if there really was a lot of blood. Her light blonde hair was now crimson red on the right side of her head. Her braid was barely even a braid at this point with her hair falling in her face. 

"Silver! You're bleeding." He stated. She didn't even seem to notice. "Someone go get me a medic."

She just pointed and the boy, "The luck of this boy." Levi could see before she even stood up completely that she was about to pass out. Her face was so pale he actually felt worried. He was next to her before she could even hit the ground. He gently picked her up with his arm under her knees and moved her away from the edge of the wall. 

"I've got you." He muttered quietly.

~~~

Kathrine was in such a deep sleep. Strange memories, places, and faces swirled around her. 

She sat in a tree watching the sun set. It was fall and the trees were lovely shades of red, orange, and yellow. The cool breeze caused a strand of hair to gently tickle her forehead. The sky was a light blue. The clouds were salmon with shadows of light purple. Oddly the sun casting the salmon color onto the clouds gave them a metallic effect. The calm breeze blew just hard enough to shake a shower of red leaves down around her. As she watched them fall they turned liquid. She looked up at the sky again only to see a rusty metal ceiling. Frantically she scrambled to her feet the leaves that had fallen were now puddles of red on the floor creeping towards her. She backed away only to bump into something behind her. She turned only to come face to giant face with a titan. She opened her mouth to scream but no sound came out. She stood frozen in horror but after a few minutes realized it wasn't moving. Just staring. She sidled to the side to get away from it. Horrifyingly the eyes followed her. But it made no move. after a few moments she realized it wasn't the only titan. It seemed like she was trapped in a dark warehouse full of titans. It was too dark to see any walls. Why was it always this damned place she had to come back to? Everywhere there should have been boxes and crates instead were titans. All of them frozen in some position advancing towards her. All of them looking at her. She blinked. They had all changed position now one movement closer to her. She tried her best not to but blinked again. Was she blinking or were things just going dark? Again they were one movement closer but blood was now slowing beginning to appear on them. It was on their hands and faces. Seeping from their mouths. Blink. Closer. Blink Now there were bodies appearing. Her comrades all around her. Blink. They were almost upon her now. She tried her hardest to scream and turned away covering her face. Hands now. She felt their hands on her. But it wasn't massive titan hands it was her comrades bloody and mutilated bodies. "Rine. Rine. Rine" They all chanted her mothers nickname for her gently in unison. She screamed and thrashed trying to push them off of her. "Hold her down." A voice said faintly. _No! NO! Let go of me!_ Those hands. That male voice saying to hold her down. This warehouse. They _knew._ They knew her mother had lied and that she was really a girl and now they were back to finish the job. "She's too strong what the hell?!" She fought with all her might. She couldn't. She couldn't let them. Hands wrapped around both her wrists. Their grasp to firm to be broken. She couldn't shake these ones off. "Shhh. Easy Silver." _Ca- Captain Levi?_ "We're not going to hurt you Kathrine. You have to calm down and let us help. Now relax so we can bandage you." It was only a faint whisper in her ear but she recognized his voice. She closed her eyes tight and took a deep breath. Captain Levi wasn't going to hurt her. He had saved her life twice already. She felt a faint spring breeze on her cheek. She opened her eyes again. She was laying against stone now looking at... stars. So many stars. She sat up and realized she was on the look out tower of the castle ruins base outside the wall. Captain Levi was in the same spot he had been the last time she had been here. He sat facing out towards the grassy plains. He turned and looked at her for a few minutes. "Captain Levi?" She ask cautiously, her voice rough. "Yeah, it's me." His voice sounded like it was coming from far away. He turned back towards the horizon. She just laid back down and continued to look at the stars with him still in the corner of her eye. After so long, her vision grew darker. Eventually everything faded to darkness. 

~~~

Kathrine floated to the surface of consciousness. Her head was pounding. It felt like it matched the rhythm of her heart. Once she moved past the pain of her head she realized everything hurt. Slowly she opened her eyes. Pain. Pure pain. She was somewhere dark though thankfully. She realized she was laying in a bed. She took in the room she was in. Its was a simple room with a bed, a chair, and a table in the corner. The room was empty other than that. She slowly, ever so slowly pushed herself into a sitting position. She tried to call out a simple "hello" but all that came out was a faint whisper that didn't even resemble a hello. This brought to her attention how thirsty she was. She debated getting up and going to the door but before she could act it opened. She flinched away from the light that spilled in. "Oh!" A woman's voice said. "You're awake." The door closed and the woman walked over to the side of the bed. "You've been asleep for two days. You had a major concussion and lost a lot of blood." Kathrine tried speaking again but once again failed. "You must be thirsty. Would you like for me to get you some water?" Kathrine slowly nodded her head unable to make any fast movements. She patted her stomach trying to signal she was hungry. "Ah, of course. I'll see if I can get you something to eat as well. Are you feeling dizzy?" Kathrine held up her hand showing a almost pinching motion. _A little._ "Enough to make you nauseous in any way?" She shook her head. _No. "_ Alright I'll be right back then."

The nurse returned a little while later with water, food, and a bucket. Kathrine frowned at the bucket but couldn't really say anything about it. She tried to gulp down the water at first but was scolded by the nurse. She resolved to taking sips. After she pelted the nurse with a few questions- _Where's Captain Levi? He went to the new scout base to help them reinstate it into living condition. What happened? You suffered from severe head injuries while rescuing a child. How long until I can leave? When we know you won't fall off your horse. Anything else happen while I was out? Erwin is the new commander of the scouts although you probably already know that, and a legion of the scouts actually managed to escape the invading titans from the old base.-_ She began eating. 

A few days passed and eventually Kathrine could stand and walk around no problem. She luckily hadn't broken anything but her body was covered in deep cuts and bruises. Kathrine quickly began getting bored. She was itching to draw something. The nurse kindly supplied her with a pencil and paper. "Oh my!" The nurse exclaimed when she saw the drawings Kathrine had done. "Who knew someone with such brute strength could have such a precise and gentle talent!" 

"What do you mean?" Kathrine asked slightly tilting her head to the side. 

"Young lady you have an unnatural strength!" The older women exclaimed. "It took three people to barely even manage holding you down when we tried tending to your wounds. If it hadn't been for the Captain stepping in when he did we would have left you thrashing around and come back later despite the damage you were causing yourself."

"The Captain?" Kathrine asked dumbly.

"Yes ma'am. He came in and managed to hold you down easily by himself. Even calmed you down after a few minutes." 

Kathrine sat in surprise and embarrassment her face red even when the nurse had left the room. Captain Levi... She could only faintly remember a terrifying nightmare and the feeling of hands all over her body holding her down. She shivered and tried casting the thought from her mind. But for some reason the image of her sitting in that watch tower that one night outside the walls with him was strong in her mind.

After a while not even drawing was satisfying to Kathrine though. She began doing exercises as best she could in the small room despite the nurses protests. Kathrine at some point had asked her name. Julie, she had told her. Kathrine had found she really liked the older woman and her mother hen personality. After about a week Julie finally announced Kathrine was healthy enough to leave without being to much at risk. Julie led her to outside where a man from the scouts was waiting with two horses. He introduced himself as Jack Miller. She thanked Julie who told her to take care of herself and then Kathrine and Jack were off to the new scouting base.


	9. Nesting

Kathrine resembled a gaping fish as she saw the new scouting base. It was literally an entire castle. Jack explained that the scouts supposedly actually owned another one to the east. Not even 20 minutes after she arrived Captain Levi found her and handed her a mop and bucket. 

"Great now that you're feeling better you can help clean." He said as he handed them to her. 

"I'll put the horses away." Jack said. A little too hastily in fact. Kathrine had a sneaking suspicion that Captain Levi had probably been scaring the others cadets with his warlike cleaning tactics. She was a little disappointed she hadn't even gotten a hello, but kept her expression carefully blank. She followed him through the castle leaving Jack behind with the horses. 

"Because theres so few of us officer squad leaders now and five towers we all got our own towers." Kathrine almost breathed a sigh of relief that people were more spread out until he finished. "Cadets still have to sleep in the barracks though unless given permission." Kathrine instead blew out a quiet frustrated breath. "This place hasn't been used in forever so it's absolutely filthy. But thankfully since I've been left in charge I had the power to make _everyone_ do their part. So luckily for you there's not too much left." _Left in charge?_ That sired the question _Where is Commander Erwin and the others?_ She's have to ask him later. Kathrine wasn't entirely sure who all was left out of the squad leaders but she knew there was Commander Erwin, Hange, Zacharias, and of course Captain Levi. Who had they lost?

"Forgive me sir but how many squad leaders did we lose?"

"Eight."

They were silent for the rest of the walk. _Eight?!_ She knew they'd taken a heavy hit but to have lost so many veterans was almost painful. He led her to what appeared to be a random store room. "I'll be back in an hour." Then he was gone. 

~~~

Later that night Kathrine was happy to sit and eat dinner at long last. She was enough out of shape that her back hurt just from scrubbing the floors. She picked a seat in the back corner like always. She was halfway through her meal when a shadow loomed over her. She looked up and saw two girls standing in front of her with their arms crossed. These were the girls always following Kiara around. _I wonder who these sheeple flock to now._ She wondered as she took them in. One girl had short black hair that stopped right at her shoulders. She had a naturally snobby look to her face. Especially as she looked down her nose at Kathrine in disdain. The other girl had a slightly tan look to her skin. Her hair was a medium length, light brown, and very curly. They were both about average height but both were still taller than Kathrine. Then again, almost everyone was taller than Kathrine. Even the Captain. 

"Of course this piece of trash survived when Kiara died." Said the girl with black hair. 

"Oh she'll get what's coming to her." Said the other. Kathrine only rolled her eyes and turned back to her food.

The black haired girl slammed her hand down on the table the other on her hip. "You think you can just ignore us? Filth like you is lucky we even notice you."

"Yeah and just because Kiara was kind enough to let you treat her the way you did doesn't mean we're going to be that nice."

"Exactly we'll put you in your place you bitch."

That was a little too far. Kathrine exhaled through her nose. "In case you two lemmings hadn't noticed," Kathrine looked them both in the eye. "Kiara's the reason that mission went to complete hell. But please tell me what trash I am compared to her. There's a reason why I'm here and she's not. There's also a reason I was top of our class and she was only number 11." 

Kathrine returned her attention to her food. 

The black haired girls face turned red and the other let out a very undignified squawk. "You only got lucky that you survived. While you were running away with your tail tucked between your legs and hiding in the tree's like a coward Kiara was _on the ground risking her life._ " 

"Don't you ever talk about her like that again. _One_ of _her_ is worth one _hundred_ of _you_."

"Don't ever forget it."

Kathrine stood up so fast the girls immediately backed up a step.

The black haired one caught herself and stood straight. The other seeing and following her lead. "Don't think we're afraid of you."

"We could kick yo-"

"Would you shut the hell up already." Someone behind her cut her off. A male voice that Kathrine didn't recognize. 

They both turned around surprised, "Who even are you?" The brown haired girl ask. 

"The names Chester. Chester Goldstein. Now get the hell out of my way."

"Who do you thi- Hey!" She shoved past her two other people following behind him.

"Get out of the way already." A woman and another guy. "Yea would you screw off." They pushed past the girls and sat down across from Kathrine. She was grateful when the two girls gave up and walk away muttering about how they had better things to do than mingle with trash. But then she was skeptical as to why these strangers had chosen to help her. The man who had first stepped in reached a hand forward to Kathrine, "I'm sure you already heard but I'm Chester Goldstein." He was a somewhat tall and muscular man. Not to much of either just an even mix. He had short hair and plain features. Kathrine shook his hand only hesitating for a second. "These two next to me are Nina Lauderdale," He pointed to the girl on his left, "and this over here is Maskam Sibul." He slapped the guy to his right on the shoulder nearly knocking him over. The girl- Lauderdale- had her dark brown hair up in a ponytail with bangs and average features aside from her notably large ears. The guy- Sibul- who didn't seem much older than Kathrine herself was mostly thin but not a complete twig. He couldn't be with the way they trained. He had very curly brown hair shaved on the sides but fairly long on the top. "We couldn't help but hear those two annoying ladies pestering you." He gave her a friendly open smile. 

"But why?" Kathrine said dumbly.

"Why?" He had a puzzled look on his face. 

"Why did you help me." She amended. 

"Ah well, you see I guess in a way we kind of owe you." He said sheepishly. Sibul nodded his head in agreement while Lauderdale only crossed her arms and looked away. Kathrines questioning look must have said enough because he then explained further. "Back in the forest outside the walls. We were in the B team. You were the reason we pulled ourselves together. If it weren't for you even more people would be dead, and well, we would be with'em." _Oh_. Kathrine was actually surprised. She didn't think anyone had really noticed what she did or really who she was.

"Yeah I thought you were done for sure when you got knocked off your horse." Said Sibul scratching the back of his head. "But look at you! You're here! Alive! And well not very injured either." He gestured to his right arm. Kathrine hadn't even noticed at first but his arm was bandaged up as though he had broken it. 

"Look we're grateful and all," Lauderdale suddenly spoke up, "but just don't expect me to help you with something petty like this again. Out there on the field I'll do my best to have your back. But in here is a different story. But hey thanks anyways." She got up and walked back to what Kathrine assumed was their original table. 

"Hey! Nina wait up!" Sibul got up and ran after her casting an apologetic look over his shoulder.

"Well I better get back to them, but don't be mistaken we're all very grateful. Good luck to ya." Goldstein got up and followed them. 

_Well that was odd._

~~~

The next day Captain Levi decided it was time to start training again. Kathrine was surprised and slightly confused when no one else came out to train all day. As they sat under a tall oak tree taking a break Kathrine decided to ask him about it. 

"Why hasn't anyone else come out to train? Are they all that badly injured?" 

"No they're just all being lazy while Erwin and the others are in the capital. Scouts are out of commission until he returns from whatever it is they're debating." 

"I see, so why didn't you go with them?"

"Why don't you mind your own business?" He shot back almost immediately. He sighed. "Someone had to be left in charge."

"Can't you force them all to do training then?"

"You're just full of questions today." He took a drink of water. "Come on let's get back to it." They returned back to their usual silence.

~~~

About a week later Erwin finally returned. He hadn't been there for most of the day but appeared some time around midday. No one had seen him other than when he first entered the gates of the courtyard. He finally made an appearance at dinner. Kathrine was put on edge by how mad he looked. It was such a subtle thing but it was there nonetheless. She wasn't the only one who picked up on it either. People began casting him concerned looks as he entered through the door to the dinning hall. 

"Could I have everyones attention please."

He didn't even have to raise his voice. Everyone immediately went silent. 

"While I was in the capital we had a debate on a very important matter. It was ordered by the king that the refugees of wall Maria are to go on a wall reclamation expedition." People began talking and arguing with each other. 

"That's suicide!"

"Better them than us!"

"Why don't they just join our ranks?"

"I have family that escaped from the fall of wall Maria!"

EVERYONE QUIET!" It was the first time Erwin actually had to raise his voice. He actually looked stressed out and aggravated enough already that people actually looked a little scared. "If you have family from Maria all you have to do is claim them and they get a pass. I was able to at least do that much. It was also ordered that so long as this plan is in action the scouts are out of commission. Despite that I would encourage you all to continue your training. I know things have been hard lately but that just goes to show that we need to be ready for the unexpected more than ever. So I'm ordering that once we get the new Squad Leaders chosen we will return to mandatory training. That is all. You may return to your meals."

He turned and left leaving everyone in shocked silence. 

~~~

Later when the news spread to Levi he went to search for Erwin. He had been in his office filling out paperwork at the time of the announcement. Thankfully he was right were Levi thought he would be. His office. Levi knocked actually giving Erwin the curtesy of letting him answer before walking in this time. 

"What the hell happened out there?" Levi asked as he closed the door.

Erwin stared at him for a heartbeat before answering. "There was a vote for it at first. Dot Pixis commander of the Garrison Regiment and I both voted against it. The MPs and Merchants were in favor of it. Unfortunately before Primer Zachary could break the tie an order from the King himself came down commanding it."

"Tch. That bastard."

"Yes well, 'that bastard' as you put it controls our lives and the lives of the people."

"I'd like to see him try."

Erwin actually almost smiled at this. Levis rebelliousness was a trait that Erwin didn't think would ever go away. He knew Levi was only there because of him. If it weren't for Erwin Levi would most likely still be an outlaw. 

Levi sat down in the chair across from Erwin and leaned back. "Alright let's here it. Give me the details on the situation." 

~~~

Captain Levi was in a bad mood and Kathrine knew it the moment she saw him waiting in front of the forest used for training. 

"About damn time." He said as soon as she was in front of him. He shot off not even giving her a chance to apologize.

He pushed her harder than he ever had before. He even snapped at her a couple of times for not keeping pace or not doing a maneuver in perfect replication of him. This went on for a few hours. He was now running her through a particularly difficult maneuver that she knew for a fact wasn't possible for most people. They were going at a terrifyingly fast past for a forest environment. Captain Levi pulled a risky sharp turn by ricocheting off a tree. Kathrine tried to slow knowing this was going to hurt but couldn't do anything to stop the heavy impact. She hit the tree trying to bend her legs to absorb the impact but her right ankle slipped against the bark and twisted. She let out a sharp yelp and lost grip. She only fell through the air for a few second before she was caught by a fast moving projectile. The Captain landed them on the ground and set her down. 

"Damn it." He muttered.

"I'm sorry Captain! I- I didn't mean to-"

"Stop." She immediately snapped her jaw shut. "It's not your fault." Did... did he actually feel bad? "Let me see it." He crouched down in front of her and inspected her ankle. After some prodding and questions he deduced that it definitely wasn't too bad of an injury but she should go easy on it for a few days. "I shouldn't be pushing you so hard so soon after you recovered from your idiotic hero act." He said as they walked back to the base. ODM would have been faster but she couldn't land with her ankle like this. She was surprised he didn't just leave her since she could at least walk- more like limp- on her own. He must of felt really bad if he was walking all that way back with her.

She raised an eyebrow. Did he really just praise and insult her at the same time. "What happened to the kid?" She asked.

"He was sent to the refugee camp. They said they were going to attempt finding any relatives of his that they could. But considering how many lost children there are in the chaos..." He shook his head. 

They walked for a few more minutes in silence. Kathrine decided to test her luck since the Captain was feeling generous enough not to leave her in the dust. "Sir, if you don't mind me asking, I know it's none of my business but, what's got you in such a bad mood today?"

He gave her a side glare. "You're right it is none of your business." He sighed when she said nothing else after a few moments of silence. "Erwin told me what happened up in the capital and how it was decided that the citizens of Maria would be forced to go on an expedition. Quite frankly, it's all a load of bullshit. It's nothing more than a culling to reduce the population. There's apparently not enough food for everyone. Although I guarantee you if those fat bastards in the capital started eating a reasonable amount of food we would have plenty to go around." Kathrine looked at him wide eyed. Why was he getting so worked up over this? She could understand that it was cruel but he seemed personally offended by it. 

"Do... do you have family from Maria?" It was the only thing she could think of. Maybe he hadn't heard that family with military members got off. 

"No." Well so much for that. "I'm guessing you don't either since you're not personally bothered by everything that's happened."

She turned her attention to the ground. "No. I've been an orphan all my life."

He actually passively glanced at her now. "Yeah I had feeling that was the case." After a few more minutes of silence he absentmindedly said, "We seem to have a lot in common."

Kathrine didn't push any further. She had a feeling this wasn't territory she was close enough to him to push on yet. 

Levi was careful to be nicer during training from then on. There wasn't really a point in him being hard on her when she was naturally such a good soldier. As time passed he was glad he did too because it caused her to come out her shell a bit. She would occasionally tell a corny joke and eventually would even tease him. It had caught him off guard the first time she did it too. He had made a joke about her landing a little too low on the trunk of a tree saying that if she wasn't so short a titan would be able to snatch her leg and drag her down. She'd almost immediately came back saying she was just taking after his example. He was so caught off guard that she'd actually made a jab at his height that he didn't even reprimand her in any way. He'd heard others make jabs at him quietly before but never had anyone ever had the balls to make a joke to his face. This became regular banter between the two of them during training.


	10. A place to call home

Kathrine ran through the forest as fast as she could. Sharp thorn covered branches dug into any exposed skin and snagged on her clothes slowing her down. The thundering footsteps behind her getting closer every second as she ran. She couldn't figure out why her gear wasn't working. She pulled the trigger again and again as she ran. But nothing happened. She needed to climb. She scanned around for a tree with low enough branches for her to pull herself up. Almost as if it had been put there for her she spotted a perfect tree for climbing. She veered left heading for it. Thankfully this one wasn't covered in thorns. She slid to a stop and grabbed onto a branch and started climbing. The footsteps were so close now. She was fast enough though she could make it. Or she would have. Her jacket snagged on something, holding her back from advancing any further up the tree. Without looking down she reached down to rip the fabric free. Something grabbed onto her hand and began pulling. She was bit back a scream as she looked down to see the tree actually had hands on its branches. Not growing out of it but instead hands that had been cut and impaled onto the trees branches. They were all around her now holding her in place. She screamed and thrashed and cussed. The titan was upon the tree now. She looked up ready to face death by the titan head on. What little bit of bravery she had managed to muster up immediately faded when she faced the titan. That face. It had been so long since she'd seen it. It was impossible. The titan had her mothers face. But instead of looking how she remembered her, her face was stretched grotesquely into a painful looking grin. All Kathrine could do was scream and shut her eyes tight as it opened its mouth wide to devour her whole.

Instead of hot breath and saliva hard cold concrete hit Kathrines face. Or rather her face hit it. Hands grabbed her by her arms nails biting into her skin and someone grabbed a fistful of her hair. Before Kathrine could reorientate her mind she was thrown into the hallway and the door to the girls barracks slammed shut behind her. As soon as Kathrine realized what had happened she felt her face heat up. She'd had a nightmare and probably woke the entire girls barracks up with her screaming. She got to her feet. Her bare feet she realized. Thankfully she never slept it anything revealing. She had on a pair of tight black pants and a white tank top. _No point in sticking around here._ She thought bitterly. Although she was more shaken by the dream than anything else. She began making here way outside. Maybe some star gazing would help calm her down.

~~~

Levi was in his office working on paperwork occasionally sipping his cup of tea. He absentmindedly went to take a sip while reading a report on the loss of suppliers due to the recent loss in territory when he realized his cup was empty. He stood up and left the room. Might as well go make some more since he still had a ways to go. He could always do it tomorrow but wanted something to do since he couldn't sleep anyways. As he neared the kitchen a flash of white in the corner of his vision caught his attention. There was no one there but he knew he definitely hadn't imagined it. He walked over and peeked around the corner. Yup there was someone walking around. He considered ignoring it but his curiosity got the better of him. _Who would be walking around at 2 am?_ Whoever it was really wasn't supposed to but wondering aimlessly around anyways. He went and set down his cup in the kitchen then went back to where he'd seen them. It seemed they were making there way outside. 

The cool air met him as he stepped outside. He scanned the courtyard not seeing any movement. Had he been wrong about where they were going? No, not unless they had went inside a random supply closet for no reason. He was certain they hadn't seen him so it made no sense that they would have done that. They must have gone outside the courtyard. He closed the door quietly behind him. 

It didn't take him very long to spot them since they were wearing a white shirt. After a few minutes he realized it must have been Kathrine. No one else had hair that lightly colored. He mentally kicked himself for not making that conclusion sooner. Although he hadn't really cared at first anyways. She was sitting on the grass with her back turned to him looking up at the stars. He walked over to her not even bothering to hide his footsteps. She jumped up almost immediately before he had really even gotten close. He was actually slightly surprised that she had paid such close attention to something most people wouldn't have noticed without actively paying attention. 

She had actually looked hostile at first but then immediately her face took on a look of surprise when she saw it was him. "Captain Levi?"

"Tch. Well duh. Who else could it be?" He crossed his arms. She didn't say anything. She actually looked... sad. Levi had seen her upset before. But not like this. This was the kind of sad you got when you felt lost or hopeless. "Are you feeling ok?" 

"Yes, sir, I'm fine."

"Well then why the hell are you wondering around like a ghost?" He looked at her feet pointedly. She wasn't even wearing any shoes. "Barefoot." He added.

She looked at the ground as if in shame. "I accidentally woke the others. They kind of dragged me out of the barracks and locked me out for the night."

He narrowed his eyes. "What the hell did you do?"

"I'm guessing I must have been screaming in my sleep." Her face was hidden by shadows as she looked at the ground.

"You seem to have nightmares a lot." He commented. It was a pointless thing to say. He wasn't sure why he said it. She only stared at the ground. He noticed then the dark lines on her arms. "What is that?" He stepped forward and grabbed her arm. She didn't move or respond. She didn't need to though. He could smell it. "Did they do that? I know you said they dragged you but that's a bit much." 

She let out a quiet bitter laugh. "My head hurts worse from them dragging me out by my hair." He'd never heard her talk with so much attitude before, but he was more distracted by a memory. Isabel. They had cut off her pigtail and beat her up. He let go of Kathrines arm and took a sudden step back. He had at least gotten back at them for what they did to Isabel. The least he could do for Kathrine was give her a place to sleep. He had a feeling Isabel would have liked Kathrine. This alone was enough to make up his mind. 

"Come on." He turned and began walking back to the base. 

She hesitated. "Where are we going?"

He paused but didn't turn around. "I think it's for the best that you get your own room." He started walking again. This time she followed. 

"What about my stuff? Where will I stay?"

"You can get your stuff in the morning. And technically the tower I'm in is my own residence. So if I decide to give you a room, I can. Also we should probably clean those cuts all over your arm."

She looked at her arms as if really noticing the cuts for the first time. "Thank you." She said it so quietly he almost missed it.

~~~

The Captain led Kathrine to the kitchen. She was a little confused at first but then noticed he picked up a tea cup and began making tea. He then handed her a warm, damp, rag instructing her to clean up the blood. As she cleaned her cuts and he finished making his tea he explained that they didn't really have any extra pillows or blankets so she'd have to go without for tonight. She really didn't mind at all. Just as long as she had somewhere to sleep

After, she followed him back to his tower. She was confused as to why he had decided to do such a big act of kindness by giving her, her very own room in his tower. But she didn't have the courage to ask. She felt it be rude and come off as ungrateful if she did. She was too mentally and emotionally exhausted anyways. He gave her a choice between two rooms. They were identical. His office was on the bottom floor and his bedroom above that. Above that were two more floors aside from the top floor which opened up to the roof of the tower. Kathrine opted for easy and choose the one right above his room. 

"Sir, aren't you worried I might wake you on accident?" She asked him as he was about to walk back into his office.

"No. I don't really sleep much anyways so you'll be fine. Knock on my office door if there's anything important." He then walked into his office and closed the door behind him. Kathrine made her way up the stairs. She was curious about his room but knew better than to test her luck. She assumed it was just as empty as the one back at the Maria base. How strange that she would never see that place ever again. She felt the tiniest hint of sadness. It went away as soon as she opened the door to her knew home. She was a little surprised at first at how clean it was. Then she felt that it would have been more surprising had it been dusty. Of course the Captain would keep every corner of his residence sparkling clean even if he didn't use the area. She was delighted to find a door leading to a bathroom. No more sharing one with the other girls. There had been a bathhouse back at the old base. But this was better than anything she could have ever hoped for. She really had her own space now. And it was all thanks to Captain Levi. She really felt she hadn't done anything to earn this but she was happy nonetheless. The room actually reminded her of the room she'd been staying in while recovering. Instead of a table in the corner though was a desk and now she actually had a dresser to store clothes in. Not that she really had many spare clothes. What few spares she'd had where gone now along with the Maria territory. Although she definitely had enough money to buy cheap clothes. Perhaps from a neaby village. She could probably make the trip to the nearby district if she had a free day. It was only an hour and a half or two hour long ride away. 

She climbed onto the bed and easily slipped into a now peaceful sleep. 

~~~

The next day Kathrine waited until everyone went to breakfast before she went back to the girls barracks to get her stuff. She pulled they few things she had out from the box at the end of her bed. A wooden comb, extra uniforms, undergarments, and... where was her sketch paper? She looked around frantically ignoring the footsteps behind her.

"Here." The woman behind her said.

Kathrine turned around to see Lauderdale holding out her sketch papers. "Why do you...?" Kathrine didn't move to take them.

Lauderdale sighed and rolled her eyes. "Those two annoying bitches were going through your things. They took these since they appeared to be the only real thing of any value to you. I happened to snatch these from them before they even really got the chance to go through them."

Kathrine cautiously took the papers. "I thought you weren't going to bother helping me with petty things like this?" Kathrine didn't mean it as a jab of any kind. She was legitimately curious. Thankfully Lauderdale seemed to understand that. 

"Yeah well I felt kind of bad for what happened last night." She gestured to the cuts on Kathrines arms. "I think we got off on the wrong foot the other day." She reached out her hand offering a hand shake. Kathrine stood and shook it. "I'm sorry if I was being a total bitch the other day. I didn't mean anything by it. Chester made me see how I came off though. I didn't real see things from your point of view. I hope you can forgive me for that."

Kathrine shook her head. "It's ok Lauderdale. I know it wasn't directed at me or anything like that."

Lauderdale nodded her head seeming relieved. "You can just call me Nina by the way." Kathrine only nodded. They stood in awkward silence for a few more minutes before Nina said something about getting food and left Kathrine to finish gathering her things.

Kathrine dropped her stuff off in her newly acquired room then headed down to the kitchen. She had no intention to go into the dinning hall. She made her way back to the tower with a bowl in her hand. She knocked softly on the office door. "Come in." 

She closed the door behind her and walked over to the desk. The Captain didn't look like he had even moved from that spot since last night. He looked up at her from a paper he was reading over and raised an eyebrow. She set the bowl on the desk and pushed it towards him. "I noticed you haven't really been eating much lately so I brought you some breakfast. 

At first he just stared at it. Kathrine shifted uncomfortably afraid she might have crossed some sort of line. "Thank you." He said voice edged with a gentleness she'd never heard before. She nodded her heard and quickly left. 

She went down to the dinning hall figuring that it wouldn't be too bad now that breakfast was pretty much over. Taking a gamble that she wouldn't come face to face with any girls that were. really pissed at her she got some food and walked into the dinning hall. Thankfully there was only a few people and none really noticed her. 

"Aye Kathrine!" An overly cheerful voice called. She saw Goldstein sitting with Sibul and Nina. Nina waved her over. Kathrine decided to take her chances and sit with them. Goldstein did most of the talking with Sibul adding his input and Nina occasionally commenting by teasing Goldstein or just giving her opinion. Kathrine sat quietly and ate her food happy that they invited her to sit with them without trying to force her into conversation. _Maybe my luck is taking a turn._ Kathrine thought. She had felt pretty lost last night. It was the closest she had come to crying in a long time. But then the Captain had given her a secure place of her own to stay. She didn't have to stay on constant alert jerking awake at the slightest noise like someone shifting in their sleep or worry about angering people with her nightmares. Usually she just jerked awake. But every once in a while one would really get to her. Aside from that it seemed that she was actually being accepted by some people other than just the captain. While she did enjoy the Captains company it was also nice to feel accepted. He was the type of person she could sit in a comfortable silence with. Given a choice and the right circumstances Kathrine would take his company over the vibrant energy of this trio. But every once and a while something like this was also a little refreshing. 


	11. Quill

Kathrine jerk awake and sat up straight. Her breathing was uneven and her heart racing but she couldn't remember why. A glance around the dark room told her it was still dark out. Once her breathing was normal again she climbed out of bed. Her heart still thudded a little heavier than usual but she ignored it and slipped out of the room. Captain Levi had run her through the regular hard exercises which should have left her exhausted but, whatever the dream had been bothered her enough that should wouldn't be going back to sleep anytime soon. She made her way down the stairs trying to recall what she had dreamed. By the time she was standing in front of the office door it still hadn't come to her. She gave up and knocked on the door. 

"Come in Kathrine." She was slightly taken aback that he knew it was her. She closed the door behind her and sat down in the wooden chair in front of his desk. It was a comfortable chair but nothing compared to the grand red chair he was sitting in. _Where the hell did he even get that thing?_ She's never really given it much thought before but now that she thought about it she found it odd. 

"How did you know it was me sir?" 

"Who else would have the balls to knock on my office door at 3am?" He raised his eyebrow not looking up from the report he was writing.

"Oh."

"Is there something I can help you with?" He sounded bored.

"No, sir. I just... I was having trouble sleeping was all." She sat with her head resting on her fist taking in the room. She hadn't really looked at it in the past. It was a very humble room. Extremely clean of course but void of any decoration. She couldn't be too surprised by that. They hadn't really been in this new base that long and the Captain wasn't the type of person to have pointless trinkets and decorations everywhere anyways.

"Still having nightmares then. I wish I could tell you they get better but they don't. They might not be as frequent as time passes on, but it won't make the fresh images hurt any less." So he had nightmares too then. It did make sense considering he was always in his office at night.

"I can't imagine you having a nightmare, sir." He didn't say anything. After a few more scribbles he put his pen down and leaned back into his chair crossing his legs and resting his arms on top of the back. 

"Everyone does at some point in there lives. I can't imagine anyone who's seen a titan in action not have a nightmare about it at least once."

"For some reason I seem to have worse ones than everyone else. Or maybe they just handle theirs better."

"Or maybe you've just been through more than they have. Titans aren't the only scary things out there." He looked bored but his words made Kathrine feel a lot better. "By the way," He opened a drawer and pulled out a piece of paper that looked like a half finished report. "you knew that Kiara girl at least somewhat right? Like her last name and simple things like that." Kathrine nodded. "I would have to go to Erwin to get her records to finish this report on her death but that means I'd have to wait until tomorrow. If you don't mind," He slid the paper over to her, "I would greatly appreciate your help." Kathrine looked over the very neat handwriting. It almost looked like it had been printed. "I don't normally let anyone else touch my paperwork but I'm practically drowning in it at the moment since so many other Squad Leaders died. They can't exactly write up the reports for their dead squad members so as one of the remaining it falls under me. So are you up for it?"

"Of course, sir I'd be happy to help you out. But just out of curiosity, don't the commander or Leader Hange help you at all?" 

"Erwin does just about as much paperwork as I do but with other matters, and as for Hange..." He made a half cringing half eye rolling expression. "Let's just say my handwriting is preferred. Your handwriting can't be as bad as Hanges. Just try to keep it neat."

He handed her a quill and put the ink between them. Kathrine was extremely grateful to Marzia right about now. Kathrine had grown up completely illiterate. School wasn't exactly a main priority for her when she had been growing up as an orphan constantly moving from place to place. Despite Kathrine trying her hardest to hide it Marzia had somehow caught on. But instead of mocking her or making fun of her like most would have Marzia was patient and took the time to teach her in those three years of cadet training. 

Once Kathrine finished the report she slid it over to Captain Levi. He finished what he was writing then picked up the report and scanned over it. 

"Nicely done. Your handwriting is exceptionally nice even." He open the drawer and put it away. She felt a little giddy at the praise.

"Captain Levi, are there anymore I could help you with? You would get done twice as fast if I joined in."

He looked at her as if a bit surprised. "I don't see why not." He reached into another drawer and this time pulled out a massive stack of papers. "Try not to get them out of order." 

Kathrine spent the next few hours filling out paperwork with the Captain. By the time the sky was turning grey the stack of papers had significantly gone down. Kathrine noticed the grey in the window behind the captain. She set down her quill and flexed her stiff hand. She then got up and walked to the window. Her whole body felt stiff. The Captain had a perfect view of the sunrise. As if he'd heard her thought he got up and walked over to the window and stood next to her in silence for a few minutes. 

"I think I'm going to go take a break." He said. After a few minutes he added. "I'll be on the roof watching the sunrise. You can join if you'd like."

He was almost out of the room when she finally moved her feet and followed. They made their way up the stairs in silence. The Captain pushed opened the trap door and climbed up onto the roof. He kindly held the door open for Kathrine gently setting it down once she'd pulled herself all the way up. They sat for a few minutes until he broke the silence.

"I appreciate you helping me tonight. Don't feel obligated to help me out with paperwork every night now though." 

Kathrine shook her head. "No, sir I understand. I just wanted to help. I needed something to take my mind off of that dream. Although I couldn't remember it, I was still bothered by it for some reason. So thank you for the distraction, Captain Levi."

"You don't have to be so formal when it's just you and me." He said after a few minutes. "You can just call me Levi when we're alone."

She was pleasantly surprised by his casualness. "I have noticed you never really were into all that formal stuff. You don't really order people around, for example when Commander Erwin was gone you wouldn't even bother commanding the others to keep up their training. You only went that far with cleaning. And you don't even bother with saluting. Not even with the Commander."

He got a far away look on his face as if remembering something. "I never really liked pulling rank on people and saluting is just a waste of time. It's meant to show respect but honestly I couldn't care less if these people respected me or not. Just as long as they do their damn job. They can have their own opinions and keep them to themselves."

She smiled, "That's a very Levi thing to say." 

She would have seen his discrete smirk if she hadn't been so focused on the red sunrise. 

~~~

Kathrine looked in dismay at the hole in her white tank top. She knew it was bound to happen eventually but now she didn't really have much of a choice. It was time to go shopping. She made her way downstairs to meet Levi who was waiting for her so they could go train. He raised a questioning eyebrow at her lack of ODM gear.

"You're feeling oddly rebellious today." He didn't actually seem all that bothered by it. He knew he well enough to know she didn't do things without reason.

"Um I was actually wondering if you'd be willing to give me a day to go into the nearby district?" She looked at him hopefully.

"Hermiha? Why the hell do you want to go there?"

He face took on the slightest hint of pink. "Well... I don't really have very many clothes. And it seems that my only non uniform outfit is at the end of its lifespan. So basically I need clothes, sir."

He tilted his head slightly looking off to the side. "I guess that actually is kind of important. Do you have anyone going with you? It's better not to travel alone. Especially now when people are getting desperate."

"Oh." She hadn't really thought of that. She could always go with Chester and the others. But although she ate with them practically everyday she didn't really feel comfortable dragging them along.

"I need some things anyways. Since it's obvious you don't really have anyone to go along with, I'll go with you." _Ouch._ He put his gear away and Kathrine grabbed her money and cloak. They made their way to the horse stables. Right before Levi mounted he pulled aside a cadet and handed him a piece of paper. "Deliver this to the Commander." he told him.

"What did you have that boy deliver?" Kathrine asked him once they were away from the base.

"You're as nosey as ever." She knew he was teasing her even if he sounded serious. She was beginning to get used to his social habits and seriousness. "Just a note explaining that we were going to the Hermiha District to buy personal supplies."

After about an hour or so of riding they arrived at the gates. Kathrine was unsurprised to see the Garrison guards casually talking instead of actually guarding the gate. They dismounted and left their horses in the military stables near the gates. They then made their way to the shops that populated the center of the District. Kathrine was unsurprised to find that it was a bit more crowded than usual. Between the refugees and the preparations being made for winter the place was fairly crowded. She had no clue where Levi was he had muttered something about looking for something and disappeared towards a bar. She wasn't too worried about it. They had a time and place set to meet in case they got separated.

First she found a fairly cheap shop selling womans clothing and was able to buy five pair of shirts. After she decided to check out a cute little tea shop a little ways down the street. As she entered the shop an array of herbal smells hit her nose. 

The shop keep seemed to be in the back organizing boxes. She began looking around at the different types of tea sets. She could only imagine how much some of the beautifully crafted glass sets costed. She turned away from them and focused instead on the source of the different smells. She picked up one box that read, "Green Jasmine Tea" and considered wether or not it would be worth it. to spend her money on so she might as well try new things. Although if she ever wanted to buy a house...

"Don't bother." Levis voice said right above her shoulder. Kathrine practically jumped out of her skin. "I already have that one you can try it when we get back to base if you want." She hadn't even heard him come in. He was like a cat. She let out a slightly frustrated sigh that he had managed to make her jump and put the box back on the shelf.

"I couldn't afford it anyways. I only have enough for some used clothes."

Levi let out a "Hmm" moved on to a black box a little higher up on the shelf. He ever so slightly stood on the balls of his feet to reach the box. Kathrine poorly hid a giggle behind a cough earning her a glare from Levi. It was gone in less than a second his faced carefully schooled back into a neutral expression. Levi purchased his tea and they were back into the streets. 

They were making their way back to the horse stables when Levi was side tracked by a supply store advertising cleaning products. Kathrine rolled her eyes and followed him into the supply store. The shop owner cheerfully greeted them and asked how he could be of assistance.

"I saw your poster for cleaning products outside. I just wanted to see what you had to offer." Levi told the man.

"Ah cleaning. Well you're in luck! It just so happens that I have some top notch supplies." He made his way over to a barrel full of mops. "Come come take a look. You see this here detaches from this so that you can change out the mop heads or wash them. The wood is made out of a strong oak and finished with lacquer that's guaranteed to make it last for years. And not only that but this part here makes it so that you can extend the pole as need be." Kathrine wondered around the store not all to interested in anything she saw. Mostly supplies already provided to her by the military or cleaning products. 

"That sounds excellent." High praise coming from Levi. "How much for it?"

"Just 30 dollars."

Kathrine caught Levis eye and gave him an incredulous look. That was such a ridiculous price. Surely he wouldn't pay that much money. 

Without breaking eye contact with Kathrine he pulled out the money and handed it to the man. As if to say _You don't understand the lengths I'll go to in the name of cleanliness._ She could only shake her head as they walked out of the store.

"Hope it was wor-" "It was." He cut off. She could only scoff. He looked so smug even with the almost completely blank expression. She was ready to head back to the base by now. The busy streets had been slowly getting more and more on her nerves. As a child she had always avoided them. Being in the center of one now when she had so actively avoided them before felt odd. They were almost out of the area when a store caught her attention. It was a book store. She informed to Levi that she was going to check it out and he decided he'd wait for her back with the horses. 

A little bell rung above her head as she entered. Book shelves where lined neatly along the walls and in line across the center of the store. Kathrine found a used book section and located three books piqued her interest. A history book, literature book, and a book of the different types of animals within the walls. Not that there was very much to learn about in history considering that most of the knowledge of the time before the walls had been lost, but Kathrine was curious about what it had to say. The same was for the animal book. As for the literature book, it was just to help her improve her writing and reading skills. While her handwriting was nice she still wasn't the best with grammar and spelling. She had managed well enough when helping Levi as long as she didn't use long words. As she headed towards the clerk to pay she noticed a small section of blank books. She picked one up off the shelf and realized it would be perfect for sketching. 

She found Levi waiting by the horses and they were back to the base just before dinner. 

~~~

The weather began to cool down over the next few days. Winter wasn't far away. It was a concern for the people of Rose and the refugees. Food was already sparse and winter would only make it worse. Not long after the weather had begun cooling off the Capital officially announced the plan for the citizen drafting of the wall reclamation expedition. The Capital knew the people wouldn't handle the news well but were smart about the timing. The people were worried now but still had time before it was set to happen. The expedition would take place in the spring. The winter would be hard on the people making them beat down and more willing to attempt getting back the lost territory. From the politicians point of view this would only make them easier to get out of the way. Kathrine was aggravated by this, but couldn't really see what else could be done. The people would only keep starving. It was cruel. But it was also life in the walls.

She would still occasionally wake up from forgotten dreams. But even when she didn't wake up from nightmares she would still sometimes go to Levis office looking for something to do. He was alarmed by how fond of her he had become. It seemed that this long break was making him soft. It was easier to grow attached to someone when he wasn't facing the threat of losing her companionship to the titans everyday.

One night they were sitting in his office having unfortunately run out of paperwork. So instead they made their way to the kitchen for some tea. The weather had become rapidly cold and the stone walls of the castle didn't do a very good job of keeping out the chill. As they sat sipping tea, a random thought came to Kathrines mind.

"Hey Captain?"

"Levi." He corrected. 

"Oh right." She said sheepishly. "Levi. What do you plan on doing when you retire?"

He paused as he was about to take another sip then set his cup down. "Retire? I'll be lucky if I make it long enough to retire."

She shrugged. "Shadis managed to of all people. So I imagine the great Captain Levi will be able to make it."

"Oh yea because all skilled people make it to retirement. That's why we have so many skilled people. And not the MPs." He deadpanned.

She giggled. "So I'll take it that you have no plans?"

He sighed which she had discovered usually meant he was going to give her an actual answer. "Honestly I would probably want to open up my own tea shop."

Kathrine wasn't all that surprised to hear that. After their day of shopping she had been introduced to Levis tea collection. The man definitely loved tea. It seemed that his absolute favorite was black tea though. 

"What about you?" He asked.

"What about me?"

"What will you do when you retire?"

Kathrine wasn't sure how to answer that. She hadn't ever really thought about it. "I..." She looked into her cup of tea. What did she want to do with her life? She obviously wouldn't go back to living on the streets. She didn't think she could ever go back to that.

"It's alright you don't have to answer." He said not unkindly. "Not everyone plans for that far ahead in the future. Can't really blame them. Plans that far ahead very rarely play out like you imagine them to."

This comforted Kathrine a little bit at least. Why plan that far ahead if your plan was most likely going to go belly up anyways? They chatted back and forth drinking their tea and mostly just enjoying each others company. Deep down Kathrine wished things could just stay like this. She didn't really want to retire. She just wanted to keep living her life like this to the very end.


	12. The cat

Year: 846

The new year came without much incident or celebration. Everyone was too worried about the difficult situation they were in to be in a celebratory mood. One night Kathrine was bored and a little worn out on paperwork. She didn't see how Levi could stand it. He had mentioned he had actively avoided a promotion at first partially because of the responsibility of paperwork but had found that he was ok with having something to do with himself at night. Kathrine however decided she needed something else to do tonight. She knew that there was still one tower unclaimed and so mostly unexplored. She decided this would be a great time to go check it out. 

She arrived at the tower and began checking one floor at a time. The ground floor was just a dusty old room with some half covered wood planks leaning against the wall. It was empty other than that. Kathrine moved on to the next room. It was a little eerie exploring these dusty old rooms by nothing but torch light. You would think that someone with such frequent nightmares would avoid something this creepy but she was bored enough to swallow her fear. The other rooms were nothing but dusty covered furniture and mice. She went back to the ground floor and took one last look in each room as she went to make sure she hadn't missed anything. On the ground floor she was feeling disappointed and ready to go sit on the roof and star gaze. She took one last look around the room but noticed something a bit off about the wall the planks of wood were leaning on. She hadn't noticed it before because of how dark it was and the wood planks blended right in, but the planks weren't leaning against a stone wall but instead a wooden door. _What were the chances?_ She wondered. She set the torch in a nearby holder on the wall and begun moving the planks out of the way. When she was done she retrieved her torch and gave the door a try. To her surprise it opened. She cringed a little bit as it loudly creaked open. She had tried to be quiet when moving the wood but that creak sounded painfully loud in the spine chilling silence. Behind the door she saw a spiraling staircase leading down into pitch black. She took in a slightly shaky breath. Down. Underground. It made her extremely nervous to think about. Especially considering what might be waiting for her down there. _Stop being ridiculous and go down there. There can't be anything worse than titans._ Having gotten her mental peer pressuring over with she began to descend down the stairs. She kept her hand on the cold stone wall afraid she might lose her balance and fall. Even the wall felt dusty. The stairs seemed to go on forever as she cautiously made her way down them. She found the curve especially unsettling. She kept feeling like something was going to jump out at her. As she finally neared what seemed to be the bottom her heart gave a little jolt. There was another door. She swallowed and put her hand on the handle. Taking a nervous deep breath she pushed the handle. It wouldn't budge. She looked closer now seeing a keyhole under the knob. The damn thing clearly hadn't been opened in forever. It was clogged with what she could only figure was dirt and rust. _Well it's either stop here or try breaking down the door._ She gave a quiet snort. She already knew what she planned on doing. Break down the door obviously. Or at least _try_ to break down the door. She took a few steps back and charged. She was rewarded with an aching shoulder and still closed door. She tried kicking it but it seemed like it would be even less effective than charging at it with her whole body. She couldn't burn the damn thing down. She would only smoke herself out of the staircase and possibly destroy whatever was on the other side. This left her with one option.

~~~

Levi was in his office writing out a supply estimate for the now diminished number of scouts when the door to his office suddenly banged open causing his hand to jerk and slash a line of ink across his paper. He let out a slightly frustrated sigh. 

"Levi you won't believe what I found." Said Kathrine from the doorway. She had an excited spark in her eye and the slightest hint of a mischievous grin. _Oh boy._ He for some reason saw the mental image of Furlan in the exact same position except with an openly obvious grin. "There's a door that was missed, buried under a bunch of wood in the fifth tower. I uncovered it and it was a staircase going down with a door at the bottom that obviously hasn't been opened in _years_. I can't get it open though." 

Was she really going to drag him into her mischief? "You really probably shouldn't be snooping around the base opening random doors this late at night."

"I know I know but I was bored and it's a good thing I did anyways because I found something." She was way too excited about this. Surely it must be interesting if she of all people were this worked up about it. Levi mentally cursed at his curiosity as he pushed his chair back and stood. 

"Alright I guess I might as well check it out."

She looked surprised but happy. They walked to the fifth tower and she led him down the stairs. It was a bit odd that this door was here for this tower but the other towers didn't have anything like this. He considered the possibility of a covered up door in his office. He would have to look into that later. They arrived at the door and Levi looked at the lock. _Yeah there's no picking this damn thing._ He thought. He stood up and in on swift movement kicked it breaking the wood where the handle was. It snapped open and the light of the torch poured past revealing a store room. Levi gestured for Kathrine to hand him the torch and she passed it on willingly. He walked in stepping over the bits of splintered wood on the ground and inspecting the things occupying the space of the room. She slowly followed him into the room as if expecting a hidden assassin to jump out at her from the shadows. Most of it was junk. Old armor, furniture, and crates of... what where those. He stepped closer to one wiping it off and reading the faded letters. Guns. They were crates of guns? He moved over to another one. Rations. He checked more of the boxes to see what they held. Guns and rations. 

" _Levi!_ " It was an urgent whisper. He looked up at her to see her staring into a dark corner where the light of the torch didn't reach. He stared into the darkness and realized with a slight jolt that it was staring back. He breathed out through his nose feeling silly that he'd let some animal startle him. How did it even get down here? He stepped closer willing the light to extend to the eyes. The torched revealed to him that it was an orange and mostly black cat. The poor creature was startled by the light and ran into a hole in the wall. _So that's how it got in._ It also explained the faint smell of mold assaulting his nose. "Aww." Kathrine said sounding disappointed. "Well this was exciting."

Levi only gave her a side look that said the exact opposite. This would mean more paperwork. The guns were meant to be handed over to the MPs. Which meant he'd have to fill out the report since they were the ones who found them. Although thankfully Kathrines help would lesson the blow. 

"I'm heading back to my office. You probably should too since I have the torch."

She let out a dry laugh. "Yeah that sounds pretty wise."

~~~

Kathrine brought some meat and a little dish of water down to the cellar and put it by the hole. She couldn't see any sunlight from it but she could feel a little bit of a draft which meant it definitely led to the outside world. She didn't see any signs of the cat but left the food and water there none the less. The next day she came back to see the food had disappeared. She began regularly leaving food in hopes of befriending the cat. A few times she would see it but it ran off without giving her the chance to interact. All she had really caught of it that first night was a flash of orange and black. After a few weeks or so she was able to sit there while the cat ate. As long as she kept her distance and didn't try to pet it, it wouldn't run away. 

One day she was headed down to the cellar when to her amazement she saw Levi already down there with it. But not only was he there with it. He was _petting_ it. She stared open mouthed for a few minutes. She managed to close her mouth and took a step forward. The cats heard her foot scrape against the floor and darted into the hole. upon recognizing her it didn't run any further but it didn't come back out of the hole either. It instead opted for watching them from there.

"Two's a party, but three is a crowd." Said Levi as he stood up from his crouched position. "But I guess you're tolerable." 

She rolled her eyes at his teasing. "How did you get it to trust you?" She said setting the food on the ground. His only response was a shrug. She grinned, "I didn't take you for a cat person." 

"I'm not."

"The cat begs to differ."

He scowled. "Tch." Then began heading back up the stairs probably off to do more paperwork.

He apparently had lots of forms to fill out because of the gun crates they'd found. She turned her attention back to the cat. "Well birds of a feather I suppose." She let out a little chuckle. "And I dare say you and Levi are very similar." He was a very closed off man much like this cat. He didn't seem to care much for being around other people. She'd seen from the way he handled training others that he had far more patients for her than he did anyone else. Then again, she could actually keep up with him. As long as he wasn't tearing through the trees at his top speed that is. He seemed to reserve that for matters that called for it. He had given some of them a demonstration of him going all out before. The other cadets complained that he made it look easy but at the same time they were in awe. She especially felt much better about herself when she saw the gap between herself and the others. While she wasn't as good as the Captain she was still leaps and bounds ahead of them. Someone she took notice of though was Nina. That woman was without a doubt above the others.

Even Commander Erwin took notice. One day after a drill he approached Nina, "Lauderdale, Who are you under?"

She stood at attention, "I was under Squad Leader Donovan, Commander Sir."

"At ease. Donovan. So it seems you're under no one at the moment. You're a good soldier Lauderdale. You've proven multiple times you can handle yourself in the heat of battle and you're a good example to a number of people. How would you like to become a Squad Leader?"

Nina tried and failed to keep her face serious. Erwin smiled a little at the obvious excitement written on her face, "That would be an honor, Sir." 

He nodded his head slightly, "That's good to hear. Write up a list of people you would like to take under you. I don't think that I have to explain that you can't have people already under someone else."

"Of course, sir. I understand completely. I'll have the list on your desk by the end of the day."

"Excellent. I'll be seeing you later then." 

Nina had of course immediately chosen to take in Chester. Maskam was already under Squad Leader Hange, so Nina couldn't do anything about him. She also selected a few other people who were mostly quiet. Kathrine wasn't really familiar with them though. The scouts were a far cry from what they'd been before. They'd lost so many people. But they would grow again. One person at a time if that's what it took. And they would reclaim what was lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm excited to see people leaving feedback. Feel free to give me constructive criticism, just be nice. Also if you notice any errors don't be afraid to point it out (If you want) I promise I don't mind although I do usually go back the day after I write a chapter and correct anything I see wrong. I try to keep the story as accurate as possible and follow the timeline. Thank you for taking the time to get this far in my story! I try to update everyday because I know it sucks to be left hanging. If you're looking for another good Levi x oc writing I'd like to suggest Ankaa by DesertUrbania, it's one of my favorites.


	13. The kitten

Levi ran into the dinning hall following the screeching noises. As he opened the doors he saw two girls latched onto each other screaming profanities at one another. On girl with short black hair had a fist full of the other girls brown curly hair. Three people were trying to separate the two fighting girls. One guy was in the center trying to unlatch the black haired girls first from the other girls hair. Two more people stood behind them holding the girls back.

"JUST GET HER OFF ALREADY!"

"I CAN'T HER GRIP IS TO STRONG AND HER HAIR IS ALL TANGLED!"

"QUIT MAKING EXCUSES AND JUST UNTANGLE THEM ALREADY!"

"HOW ABOUT YOU COME OVER HERE AND DO IT IF YOU THINK IT'S THAT EASY!"

The three people trying to separate them all had to shout at the top of their lungs to be heard over the screaming women. Levi would dare to say they reminded him two street cats fighting. 

"What the hell is going on here?" All noise ceased at the sound of his voice. The two girls turned to him knowing they were in trouble. He only used this commanding tone of voice when he was aggravated and looking to chew someone out. They all knew this from training. Unfortunately for them Erwin had asked him to over see the training to make sure everyone was at the top of their game. Everyone quickly learned he had low tolerance for stupidity or insubordination when it came to something serious like practicing formation and the coordination of attacks. While he disliked pulling rank he knew these people needed him to be commanding when it came to survival. The black haired girl unlatched from the brown haired girl and the two holding them let go. "I better get my answer or so help me god you'll be cleaning under my supervision for the next year. Or more accurately until the next expedition since you seem to have so much trouble keeping up with formation. _Especially_ you two." He glared at the two girls. 

The three who had been trying to separate them scrabbled to give him an answer,

"We were just trying-"

"The girl with black hai-"

"They started fighting and w-"

He felt the echos of a headache threatening him, "One at a time!"

The one who had been in the middle stepped forward, "The girl with the black hair started a fight with the other girl, Captain Levi Sir. We were just trying to separate them before anybody got hurt." The black haired girl was named Yin Fernsby. Levi had noted her for being a bit problematic in training she was catty enough to get on everyones nerves. Why people like her and Kiara were out here in the first place was Levi couldn't fathom. The brown haired girl was a complete airhead. Her name was Bianca Herlinger. 

"Is that so?" Levi crossed his arms. "You three, dishwashing duty for tonight. If you were trying to keep people from getting hurt you should have sent someone to come get me. It's a good thing I heard the commotion. And as for you two girls, you get horse stables until I say otherwise." The two girls began pouting. "Next time something like this happens get Erwin, Hange, or me. Is that understood?"

"Yessir!" Nearly all the room chanted.

As Levi turned to walk out of the dinning hall he happened to notice a pale haired figure sitting in the back corner alone grinning from ear to ear. He shook his head as he walked down the hall. Of course she had been watching with a smile on her face. He remembered her complaining about them sometime back. "Kiara worshipers" she had called them.

"What was all that screaming about?" Erwin asked as he came around a corner and saw Levi.

"Just a cat fight." 

"Between who?"

"Two girls. Fernsby and Herlinger. Apparently Fernsby started it. Either was they're both on stable duty." 

Erwin looked thoughtful. "Has she shown to be a problem before?" 

"Tch. She's been a pain when training from the start. Everyone else can barely stand her."

Erwin sighed, "I thought this might be the case. Would you mind getting Squad Leader Zacharias for me?"

Levi narrowed his eyes slightly. "Can't you get a cadet to do that for you? I have paperwork to fill out."

"I know and I'm sorry but I think it's for the best that Fernsby be placed under him. I'd like for you to be there in case she decides to get out of line or deny anything. You can also inform Zacharias what exactly he's getting into and how she behaves." It did make sense. Levi gave him a nod and went of to get Mike. "I'll see you two back at my office." Erwin said to Levis back as he walked away. 

Levi went and got Mike who seemed to have been about to go to bed. He agreed he'd be at Erwins office in less than 10 minutes. Once everyone was in Erwins office he informed Mike of the fight that had just occurred. Yin just stood there pouting at the floor. "... so considering that we need to reform our squads and many people are squadless I think it would be in everyone best interest that you become Fernsby's new Leader. You have a very cool temper and you're not easily provoked. So, are you willing?" 

Mike didn't hesitate. "Yes sir. I'd be happy to do what needs to be done."

"Very well." Erwin seemingly happy turned his attention to Yin. "Then from now on you are under the command of Squad Leader Zacharias."

She didn't say anything. She didn't even look up from the floor at which she was now scowling. 

"Since you like looking at that damn floor so much how about I help you get to know it a little better." Levi said with thin patience. 

She immediately snapped to attention "I understand commander Erwin sir." she said with a salute. She legitimately looked afraid. They all knew not to push his buttons when he was in a bad mood. He hoped they didn't notice that he would let Kathrine get away with it though. 

~~~

Kathrine made her way down to the cellar of the still vacant tower. Despite Ninas promotion she had opted to take a single room instead of the fifth tower. Kathrine had noticed that over the past few days the cat had begun to stay inside more and more. It had also warmed up to her enough that she could pet it. Although it felt the need to sniff her hand every time before it allowed Kathrine to do so. She spent some time with the cat which sat inside the empty crate that Levi had put there for the cat. He even gave it an old blanket. The cat for some reason didn't seem all to interested in the food tonight. Kathrine actually felt a little worried for it.

Later that night as she and Levi sat on the roof of the tower looking at the stars she brought it up. "I'm worried about the cat."

"Oh yeah? Why's that?"

"When I brought it food tonight it didn't seem to want it. What if it's sick?" She looked down at her numb fingers. Not she could see them very well on the moonless night. 

"Then there's not really much we can do. I'm sure it'll be fine though."

She sighed "Yeah you're right. I'm probably just over thinking things." She thought for a few minutes then scoffed at herself. "Look at me. We live in a world where people are ripped apart and eaten alive, and here I am worrying about a cat getting sick." 

Levi looked at her from the corner of his eye. "It's easy to have compassion for animals. People are difficult and can be cruel. While it is a harsh world we live in it's also the same world these animals live in, and they're far nicer than people most of the time." He looked back to the stars. "There's nothing wrong with caring about the cat."

He somehow always had a way of making Kathrine feel better when he doubted himself. She looked up at the stars and smiled.

The next day she was on her way to check on the cat when Levi seemed to materialize out of the shadows.

"Mind if I come along?"

"Worried about the cat?" She said smugly.

"Well I was going to keep you company since you're so scared of that cellar but you seem confident so I'll just leave you to it." He did a complete 180 and began walking away.

"Wait no no no! I don't mind!" She said. Now he was the smug one. It wasn't often she saw this soft side of him that the cat seemed to bring out though. They got down to the cellar and Kathrine set the food on the ground. "Here kitty I brought you some more food." She was happy to see that the cat had eaten the food she brought yesterday after all.

"Hey. Come look at this." Did he sound... excited? He was crouched next to the crate and looking in. Kathrine came up next to him and peeked inside. She would have squealed with excitement if she hadn't been afraid to startle to cat. It was happily purring away while a single little black kitten was nestled against it's stomach. "How odd for there to only be one kitten." He mused.

Kathrine and Levi would check on the cat daily. The kitten finally opened its eyes and grew in size and was eventually able to stand on wobbly little legs. One day though when they went to check on the cat they saw it wasn't there. The poor kitten was mewing loudly from the crate. While Kathrine knew that it would still go outside she had never seen it not be there when it was feeding time.

Levi went over and reached his hand into the crate. "It's cold. The mother has been gone a while."

"Won't the kitten die if it gets too cold?" She asked. She wasn't sure it could be on its own yet.

He sighed and picked it up. "I'm afraid so. We can come back and check on it through the night but I'd feel really bad if it died because of us." It had stopped crying and was now snuggled against his chest. Kathrine was slightly disturbed at how much she liked the sight of him snuggling a kitten to his chest.

She looked away. "Let's just take it back with us. If the mother shows back up we can always return the kitten." He just shrugged.

They gave the kitten a nice little spot in the office. His office was actually somewhat comfortable despite the winter chill. They put a little box in the corner with a blanket and some water. They weren't really sure how they would feed it quite yet. Kathrine figured she could try giving it very tiny pieces of meat tomorrow. I had fallen asleep with Levi holding it and was now quietly sleeping in the box. 

Everyday Kathrine would go down to the cellar to check for the mother cat. Sometimes she would even go down there multiple times a day. She was disappointed to see that not even the food she left was eaten. She was happy that the kitten would at least eat meat if she gave it very tiny pieces. Eventually she gave up on checking the cellar. It had been almost two weeks. The kitten had rapidly grown in such a short amount of time. It now clumsily ran around the office not quite daring to go out if it although it would definitely peak around the corner and then skirt away. The more time went on and the bigger it got the more curious it got about exploring outside the office. It was even brave enough to go exploring outside by jumping out of the office window. This made Kathrine a little nervous at first but it never seemed to go out far or for very long. 

~~~ 

On night Levi was in his office with Kathrine filling out paperwork on the new squads and who was under who. She looked like she was about to pass out. While she still didn't sleep as much as most people she still definitely slept more than him. Every couple of days the lack of it would catch up with her. She couldn't run on 4 hours constantly like him.

"Why don't you just go to bed Kathrine? You're obviously tired."

She waved him off. "I will I will I just need to finish this report."

"It's not going to go anywhere you can-" She poorly hid a yawn. It was oddly adorable. He sighed slightly frustrated. "You can come back to it tomorrow."

"I know but if I do that I might forget where I was going with this." 

He rolled his eyes. Why did she have to be so stubborn. 

"Hey by the way, where's the void?" She was referring to the kitten. Although it was closer to a cat now. 

"Probably asleep in some random place." He said as he looked over a list of names. "Simon Blight is that one blond kid under Nina Lauderdale right?" She didn't answer, "Kathr-" He stopped mid sentence when he looked up to see she had her head resting on her crossed arms on the desk. She seemed to be fast asleep. She looked so peaceful like this. Normally her face was blank with the occasional expression showing strong emotion. But when she was asleep and not having a nightmare she looked... almost happy. He frowned. _I've seen her asleep before on missions. Why am I noticing this now?_ He banished the thoughts from his mind and went back to his paperwork. He'd leave her alone for now. If he woke her she'd probably just go right back to paperwork because she was just that stubborn of a person. She seemed to believe that her body should only give in when she gave it permission to. He'd learned that from training with her. It had paid off there but sleep was another thing entirely. 

His attention snapped back to her sleeping form when he heard the sound of her teeth chattering. She was shivering. The office wasn't uncomfortable but it wasn't warm either. But while he was wearing a long sleeve shirt she was wearing a tank top. Without really giving it much more thought her stood and draped his cloak over her. After a few minutes she stopped shivering. She had reminded him of Isabel that one time she found the hurt bird. Isabel had been so gentle hearted for little animals. He saw that in Kathrine and couldn't help but take in the kitten. Satisfied he went back to his work.

~~~

Winter went away completely and spring hit in full force. Kathrine was grateful for this because it meant she wouldn't have to keep shoveling snow off the roof. It had gotten bad enough at one point that they had to stop going up there because it was so slippery. Without their gear falling off the tower for sure meant death. Void (The name Kathrine had begun regularly referring to the cat as) was now almost fully grown. Just a couple of weeks ago, and much to Levis disapproval, void had even brought them a half eaten rat and left it in the office. "I'm glad she's earning her keep and all," Levi said, "but she really didn't have to share it."

Kathrine thought it was adorable that void had been trying to share with them. "That's so adorable." She teased as he grimaced at the dead rat.

"Great then you can clean it up." She wrinkled her nose but did what he said. 

At one point she had even caught him sitting at his desk absentmindedly petting the cat as he filled out paperwork. 

"Aww Levi that's so adorable!" She was not going to pass up any opportunity to tease him for being a softy. 

"If you just came in here to pester me than you can get out." He said dryly. 

She had only grinned and went to dinner. Nina, Chester, and Maskam had recently noticed her slight change in attitude. She hadn't even realized it but having a cat around seemed to make her somewhat of a nicer person. Especially seeing how Levi was with it. She couldn't help but find it adorable. It also constantly gave her things to tease him about which always improved her mood. She explained finding the kitten abandoned and them taking it in. 

"Wow I didn't think the Captain was that kind of person." Said Maskam.

"Yeah I can't imagine that man being gentle with anything." Said Chester with a shiver. "That man is stone cold and brutal."

"Oh don't be so over dramatic. He just does what everyone needs him to do. He's just good at his job." Nina said with a shrug. "Everyone seems to forget he's human. He has emotions too you know. And it's usually the people who are the toughest and the coldest that have the most compassion. They have to be cold. It's what makes them strong."

Kathrine was surprised at how easily Nina saw what most people didn't. Levi didn't show it but she knew that he hated losing soldiers. It's why he was so tough on them in training. It had paid off too. Everyone was steadily becoming more skilled under his guidance. Kathrine had a feeling between his pushing everyone to be better and Erwins leadership the scouts would see more progress than they had since they were formed. If anyone could get wall Maria back it was them. Although Kathrines confidence in them wouldn't do anything to stop the culling that was set to happen soon. It was just as Levi had told her. The harsh winter had only made the people more willing to march to their deaths in the false hope of getting their homes back. The thought darkened her mood. But what could she do about it? What could any of them do about it?


	14. Dirty Feathers

The culling came in the late spring. It was nothing more than a massacre. Even though military members were able to save their family it still took a toll on everyones moral. People were a bit more down and quiet than usual. It was definitely saying something considering that people were already more down than usual thanks to the fall of Maria. While being in the military saved their family from the culling it did absolutely nothing for Marias fall. Both Nina and Chester had lost family. Kathrine was really surprised by this. She didn't understand how Chester was as upbeat and happy as he usually was when he's lost loved ones. At the same time though, she did understand. In this world all you could do was move forward and for Chester that meant trying to be a light in other peoples lives. Kathrine admired that. As for Nina it explained some things. She apparently before had been a quieter and softer person. But the loss of her cousin and aunt had hardened her. Her aunt had apparently been like a mother to her and her cousin like a brother. Kathrine wasn't sure how to comfort them. They ended up eating the rest of the meal in peace. Maskam had grown up in wall Rose and only lost distant family members he hadn't even been close to. It explained why he seemed a bit more educated than most of the people there.

Despite the tragedy of the culling Erwin wasted no time taking action to get the scouts back into action. "The only way all those deaths will ever had meant something is if we get back out there and take back what's ours." He had said in his speech. Kathrine wasn't sure that was the case. One one hand to the people that was how it looked. But for those who knew the truth it was the exact opposite. The only reason those people had been sent out there was to reduce the population. Because the truth was the politicians and even the King himself didn't believe they were ever going to get that territory back. But despite all this, in the grand scheme of things the only way humanity would survive would be by driving out the titans and taking back their land. This was what pushed Erwin and those who knew forward. This was what Kathrine would dedicate her life to. Things had gone beyond her just looking for whatever would give her food and a bed. Even back when she had first joined the scouts it was because she wanted to do something more with her life. In all honesty if she hadn't realized that her skills were exceptional and she actually had a good chance of surviving then she would have chosen something safer. She had still been more dedicated to herself back then. But now? She was willing to make herself a sacrifice if need be. She was a soldier. It was her job to lay down her life if need be. And for the first time in her life she was actually a part of something. Erwin, Maskam, Chester, Nina, and Levi. She was actually a part of something bigger than herself, and she was willing to lay down her life for it. 

Erwin had decided that he would be taking his 4 squad leaders with him to the Capital to negotiate their funding leaving his own squad in charge. He ordered for each leader to pick one member of their squad to come with them. Kathrine liked that Levi really had no other choice than to bring her but she had a feeling that even if he didn't have to he still would have found an excuse. They were so used to each other at this point they could communicate by looks alone. It drove the other cadets to near insanity when training. Where they all saw a blank and condescending look she could see thoughts and instructions. They made a perfect double team. She was actually excited to test out their combos on titans once they got back out on the field. Nina had of course chosen to take Maskam and Hange thankfully took Chester, unfortunately for everyone Zacharias would be taking Fernsby. The absolute worst part of all though was that as the only two non leader females they would have to share a room while staying in Sina.

"Why the hell would he want to bring that galling lemming along?" Kathrine complained to Levi as they sat in his office sipping tea. She absentmindedly pet Void who was curled up on some papers on the desk. She resembled a lion these days. The cat was fluffy but for some reason had a lion like main of black fur. 

"Probably because if he left her here everyone would put soap bars in their socks and beat her to death." He said straight faced. Kathrine couldn't help but laugh at that startling Void enough to make her jump. Kathrine amended by giving her a scratch behind the ear. Void resumed her purring and tucked her paws into her chest. "Anyways just make sure you're packed and ready in time for the trip."

She snorted. "Of course Levi. When have I ever been so lax with something so important?" Levi didn't have an answer for that it seemed. Kathrine had always been careful about serious matters. It was only when it was just her and Levi that she was ever the slightest bit silly. They still had a week before the trip anyways. 

The day before the trip Kathrine packed for it. They would only be there for 2 or 3 days depending on how difficult the politicians were.Kathrine was glad she had went and bought more clothes. This meant that she had to wait until the day before to pack because she had to wash everything though. After Kathrine was done packing she decided she would head downstairs for dinner. On the way down she saw Void sitting in front of Levis door scratching to be let in. She highly doubted that he was in there because he almost never was. She also knew that he would sometimes let Void in there anyways. She was sure he wouldn't mind her letting the cat in. She bent down and pet the cat before standing and opening the door. The cat just sniffed the air at first only taking one step forward. "Well go on." She urged, "This was what you wanted wasn't it?" Void finally made up her mind and went into the room. Kathrine smiled and took a step back right into what felt like a warm brick wall. 

"What are you doing?" 

She went completely stiff and froze. She hated when he snuck up on her like that. "Not snooping around?"

"If I were anyone else I'd be inclined to doubt your low confident answer."

She realized she was still right up against him and quickly stepped forward her face pink. She turned and faced him scowling. "Well good thing you know me so well."

Why the hell was he smirking? "Good thing you talk to the cat."

"You can't tell me you haven't done it at least once."

"I can and I will. I haven't spoken to the cat." He moved around her and pushed open the door to his room. "You should probably actually get some rest tonight. We have a long ride tomorrow." Then he closed the door behind him.

She sighed knowing he was right even though he wouldn't follow his own advice. 

~~~ 

The next day they were off to the capital. The sun was only just peaking behind the horizon by the time they were mounted on their horses. They almost the entire day making the journey. Kathrine was glad she had listened to her Captains advice and gotten a full nights rest. By the time they arrived at the capital Kathrine was sore but not too tired. The sun was still an hour or two from setting when they arrived. Erwin and the Squad Leaders where to get settles into their rooms and then go report to the MP commander and inform him of who all was there. 

Kathrine sat in her shared room with Yin and tried not to have any form of contact with the girl. She only stayed long enough to drop of her thing and then immediately went to go find Chester and Maskam. She found them room and knocked on the door. It opened almost instantly to reveal Chesters smiling face. 

"Hey Kathy!" She rolled her eyes at the nickname. He called her something new almost every time she saw him. "We were just about to come find you!" 

"Hey Kathrine." Maskam called from inside the room.

"I'd let you in but apparently there's a strict rule against that. But anyways Nina won't be in there as long as the other captains so she should be out soon, and we were totally thinking of going and hitting up a nearby bar. You wanna come with."

Kathrine was taken aback at first "Er well I don't really drink."

"What? Really? Ah it's whatever. You don't have to drink just come hang out with us!" His grin just got wider as he pressured her. "Besides how could you possibly put up with that bitch sober" He said with a booming laugh.

Kathrine thought about it for a few minutes. "Alright just as long as we're not out too late. We have stuff to do here you know." 

"Yeah yeah I know that." Chester said with a wave. "Just meet us outside in an hour ok?"

Kathrine rolled her eyes with a grin. "Alright fine."

She left them to their unpacking and made her way to find food. If she ended up drinking she would rather do it on a full stomach so that she didn't accidentally get too tipsy. After she'd eaten she changed into casual civilian clothes. A comfy pair of dark brown pants and a white long sleeve shirt rolled up to her elbows. 

"Where the hell are you off to?" Yin asked haughtily.

"Out." Kathrine replied coldly as she walked out of the room.

She found the others outside like they said they'd be. Even Nina was ready to have some fun. 

"Alright look who actually showed up." She said as she leaned against The building.

"Alright let's get going then." Even Maskam seemed excited to go out drinking. 

As they made their way through the streets laughing and joking people passed them on their way home. The street lamps were being lit in the light of the setting sun. Chester teased Maskam about not being able to handle alcohol.

"You can't really talk." Nina cut in with a mischievous smile. 

"Now hold on a minute!" Chester said pretending to be offended. "There was that one time we went to the Shiganshina District..." 

Kathrine smiled as he launched into a story. She enjoyed this. It felt nice to be a part of something. She knew then that she would die for these people if it came down to it. The closest thing she'd ever had to a family. It made her think of Marzia and Jinn. They had been kind to her but she kept her distance still. Something about fighting alongside these people. They took their time getting to the bar so by the time they got there it was dark. The bar tender greeted them and told them to sit anywhere they liked.

Chester ordered a tankard of beer for both him and Maskam. Nina ordered a shot of whiskey. 

"Come on Kathrine," Chester pestered. "If you don't order _something_ then I'll order for you."

"Fine." She called out to the bartender, "Can I get a water."

"That was _not_ what I meant." Chester said with a laugh.

Kathrine didn't want to go through the hassle of a hangover tomorrow. They stayed there late into the night laughing and talking. Nina was still serious but seemed to constantly smile. Chester was hilarious. Singing songs and messing with poor dizzy Maskam. Eventually Kathrine started to feel the effects of an entire day of riding. She was actually feeling a bit tired but it didn't seem like they would be leaving anytime soon.

"I think I'm gonna head back now, I'm feeling pretty tired and I'm sure Fernsby is asleep by now." She told them as she stood. 

"Are you sure?" Chester said in a slurred voice. "You can just sleep on the table 'nd i'll carry ya."

Kathrine smiled at his offer. "Thanks Chester but I think I'll just go now." 

"See you in the morning!" Nina said cheerfully as she patted the table.

"Goodnight you guys." Kathrine waved to them and thanks the bar tender who gave her a nod in response. 

When she stepped out into the cool night air it felt like she had stepped into another world. It was completely opposite from the merry laughter she had just spent the past few hours in. As she began her walk down the cold dark street she realized that she wasn't really sure how to get back. She hadn't really been paying attention as they walked to the bar. She was ever so slightly mad at herself for this. She considered turning back and just waiting for the others. But then they might feel pressured to go back early because of her. She really didn't want to ruin it for them. Besides she was sure it couldn't be _that_ difficult to find her way back. She was just a bit nervous because it was dark and she was by herself. Yeah she was just being overly nervous. That's all. 

But as the night went on and the place they were staying didn't appear, she realized that she really had no clue how to get back. _Alright I guess I have no choice but to go back to the bar and wait for them._ She turned around and headed back in the direction she had come from. Eventually she came to a fork in the road she hadn't noticed before. Which way had she come from? She wanted to throw a rock at the stupid building that caused the fork. _Alright I'll just go right._ She moved on not wanting to stay out in the empty abandoned streets for too long. The dim street lights did little to make her feel better. Eventually she turned a corner and came to a dead end. "Of course." She sighed in frustration and kicked the wall. She turned ready to try a different route only to see three shadows blocking her way out.

~~~

Levi was sitting outside looking at the stars when he heard the sound of laughter and clumsy footsteps coming around a corner. Three people appeared clearly drunk. As they got closer and he could make out their faces he realized one of them was Squad Leader Lauderdale and the other two were Sibul and Goldstein. Kathrines friends. So where was Kathrine. As they got closer they realized he was sitting there watching them.

"Oh! Er um Cap'n Levi sir." Goldstein slurred with a salute. The other two slowly followed his lead after a few seconds delay.

He ignored there salutes. "Did Kathrine not go with you guys?" He hadn't seen her after the meeting anywhere and assumed she was with them. He couldn't imagine her choosing to stay in a room with Yin unless she absolutely had to. 

"Wait you mean she hasn't come back?" Nina seemed to almost immediately sober up. The two men took on looks of surprise and concern. 

_Shit._ "How long ago did you last see her?"

"About an hour?" Chester looked to the others seeking confirmation. 

"Yeah about an hour ago I think." Sibul confirmed.

Levi stood. "Where?"

"The Bulls Horn Bar." Nina pointed in the direction they had come from.

He didn't wait to hear anything else they had to say before he took off at a brisk pace in the direction she had pointed.

~~~

"What have we here?"

Nina froze like a deer facing a hunter with a bow. There was no escape that she could see unless she tried running past them. She had been terrible at any form of combat training they'd done in training. No one had seen the point. She should have learned from her mother but she was a fool.

"Looks like our night just got a little more interesting." Said the one on the left.

They began moving forward. Kathrine decided the best she could do was try her luck in getting past them. She charged at the man in the middle.

"What the!" 

She feigned going left then veered to the right in an attempt to slip between the middle and right man. She came so close to slipping past them but she felt a hard jerk on her head as she was yanked back by her hair. She let out a yelp and landed on the ground. The men laughed menacingly at her failed attempt as she scrambled to her feet. 

"I think we're gonna enjoy you." The man in the middle said. They began advancing towards her backing her into the wall. Kathrine couldn't breath. They were going to do to her what those men had done to her mother. This was worse than facing titans. If one came around the corner and ate her before they could get their hands on her, she would be grateful. As she backed away from them she stepped on a rock causing her foot to roll and she lost her footing falling backwards. This only made the men laugh some more. She scooted away from them and her back hit the wall. They were close now the man in the middle about to reach out for her. She felt along the ground for anything to use as a weapon. She jammed her finger against a rock in her hasty search and clutched it hard enough that it bit into her hand. She threw it with all her might at the man reaching for her. It hit him in the face and he let out a satisfyingly pain filled yell. 

"You lil bitch!" He grabbed her by her hair right at her already aching scalp and slammed her head into the wall. Her vision was a flow of mixing colors and stars. He picked her up by her hair again and threw her into the wall on the right. She landed on her side in a muddy puddle and tried to get back up. The one of the men came over and stomped on her foot. She screamed out and cut herself off. It had been on the same foot that she had hurt her ankle. She wasn't going to give them the satisfaction of hearing her scream though. It was what sick bastards like this wanted. A hand wrapped around her throat and lifted her up pinning her to the wall. She kicked out and connected with with mans side.

"Get'er legs!" The man said. 

She could only claw at the hand choking the life out of her, Everything started going black starting with the edges of her vision. She couldn't cry out for help, she couldn't even breath. She distantly heard the sound of a knife being drawn.

"We're gonna cut you up _nice_ and _slow_."

There was a loud _crack_ and the hand holding Kathrine slackened and the man attached to it fell to the ground. 

"What the he-"

The mans voice was cut off and replaced with a gurgling sound followed by the sound of a knife being thrown to the ground. Kathrine looked up from her spot on the ground to see what had spared her from these men. Through blurry vision she saw two of them men laying on the ground and the remaining one being backed into a corner by a significantly smaller figure. Who had _thrown the knife away_ despite the bigger men having one.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" The man shouted. He was clearly panicked though since he backed away from the approaching figure.

As soon as the mans back hit the wall he charged forward knife first. Kathrines savior easily dodged the knife and kneed the man right in the gut. The man let out an involuntary "Oof" as the breath was knocked out of him. He feel to his hands and knees gasping for breath. 

"So let me get this straight," The hero said and then kicked the man in the ribs hard enough that there was a loud _crack_ as the mans ribs shattered. Kathrines fuzzy brain came to a slow realization. She knew that voice. But never had she heard it so chillingly cold and angry. "You were going to cut up that woman over there right?" He picked up the man by the hair and kneed him in the face. "Thing is," He let the man fall to the ground, "you're going to have to go through me." _Snap!_ He stomped on the mans arm breaking it. He squatted down and lifted the man by his hair. The man was trying to say something. "I'm sorry what's that? Are you trying to beg me for mercy?" The man said something that was hard to make out but Kathrine was pretty sure it was a please. He dropped the mans head and stood up looking down at the now crying man who was trying to get up with his unbroken arm. The smaller figure didn't let him get any further than that he kicked the man onto his back causing the man to cry out and sob even harder. "How many people begged you for mercy?" He pinned the crying man down by putting a foot on the mans chest. "How many women?" He put more pressure on the mans chest causing the man to cry out again.

"I don't know!" The man cried sounding as though his nose was plugged. It must of broke when he got kneed in the face. Kathrine knew that Levi was going to kill this man. She could only figure he'd already killed the other two. It was hard to tell with nothing but moonlight in the dark ally but she was pretty sure they weren't breathing. "You don't know." Levi wasn't asking a question. Kathrine hadn't even seen Levi take the mans knife but it now flashed in his hand. Levi moved so fast the man had to chance of even blocking him. The man could only make gurgling sounds as he convulsed on the ground. Kathrine stayed frozen on the ground and stared at the man even after he had stopped moving. 

~~~

Levi hated getting blood on himself. It was always sticky and hard to get out of clothes. He looked over at Kathrine still on her knees looking at the man wide eyed. He walked over to her and kneeled down to her level. 

"Kathrine." He said gently. She didn't seem to hear him. "Kathrine." He said again as he gently lifted her chin with his knuckles. Her eyes slowly met his. "Are you hurt?" He carefully scanned over her. She was bruised and dirty. She had a light bruise blossoming on the left side of her jaw. 

She looked down at the ground. "My ankle..." Her words were nothing more than a horse whisper.

She looked so broken and scared. He put one arm around her back and the other under her legs and picked her up. She was wet and covered in mud from the puddle the man had thrown her into. Their deaths hadn't been slow enough. Levi had snapped the mans neck and slashed the others throat without even thinking about it. All he could feel was a cold calm rage. It had been a while since he killed someone. He had usually done it for survival. Only a few times had he ever done it out of anger. Never for himself but only for people close to him. Kathrine wrapped he arms around him and hid her face in his neck. He could feel warm tears trailing down his neck as he carried her.

Nina was sitting outside the temporary scout base with Chester asleep next to her. Maskam wasn't there anywhere to be found. Levi secretly hoped the boy hadn't gone to get help because Levi would have to explain the blood and there was a very likely chance he would end up before a judge. Whether or not he'd saved Kathrine they would condemn him given his background. Nina immediately jumped up and ran over. 

"What happened is..." She trailed off as he stepped into the light showing they were both covered in blood. "Oh my god." She whispered taking a step back. "I'll go get help." 

"No." Levi said quickly. "That's not necessary. Where is Sibul?" 

She looked uneasy. "He went to bed. He said there was no point in us just sitting out here waiting around."

"Go inside and don't speak about this to anyone... please." He whispered the last word. He didn't use it often but he was at her mercy here. If it came down to it he couldn't kill Kathrines friends just to cover for himself. That was where he drew a strong line.

But to his quiet relief she seemed to understand and nodded. "What exactly happened out there?"

"All you need to know is that if I hadn't done what I did they were going to kill her. Maybe worse." 

Her eyes widened. "Alright. You go ahead and take her inside before I wake up Chester. I have a feeling that the less people know about. this the better."

Levi took the completely silent Kathrine to his room. He would have thought she was asleep if it weren't for her uneven breathing, fluttering heartbeat, and occasional tremble. He couldn't take her back to her room covered in mud and blood and just leave her there. He wasn't even sure that her room had a bathroom while his on the other hand did. He skillfully opened the door while holding her and closed it with his foot. He set her down on a wooden chair in front of the little work desk in his room. She just stared blankly at the ground with silent tears running down her face still. He knelt down into her line of vision. 

"Kathrine." Her name was barely even a whisper on his lips. He took a deep breath. "Kathrine." He said louder. Her eyes focused on his. Good he had managed to get her attention. "Where else are you hurt besides your ankle?" Her eyes went out of focus again and drifted to his shoulder. "Hey. Stay with me I need to know." He gently put a hand on her cheek. Had she leaned into it a little or was that just his imagination? 

"I..." Her voice was so horse. He could only figure it was because of the man who had pinned her by her throat. Levis eyes drifted to her throat and he saw a bruise forming a line across her throat. He felt as though ice were forming in the pit of his stomach. Rage. Such icy cold rage. "My head." She said her voice a little clearer. This drew his attention to her head where he saw a bit of blood. She must have a cut on her head. Not a very deep one though. 

He stood up. "Can you stand?" 

She didn't answer. Instead she attempted to stand up on her own. She was a bit wobbly. She didn't put down her right foot at first. He realized it was the same foot she had hurt that one day during training. _The day I pushed her too hard._ He thought with the slightest bit of bitterness and guilt. 

"You can use my bathroom to clean bathe and then I'll look at your ankle and head when you're done ok?" She nodded and limped forward. She stumbled and almost fell but he smoothly caught her expecting it to happen. She kept her hand on his chest and he stayed by her as she limped to the bathroom. He would have carried her in but she seemed determined to do it herself. If he knew Kathrine any then he figured it was probably because she was trying to give herself something to focus on. She closed the door behind her and he heard the shower turn on. He absolutely _loathed_ the fact that he was covered in blood and dirt but he was over 100 times more worried about her. He sat down on the floor next to the bathroom and and closed his eyes. 

~~~

Kathrine sat in the shower and stared at her feet. The initial shock had worn off and she was now trying to organize her mind. She would have stayed there all night but there was only so much hot water, and despite everything she still kept Levi in mind. He would probably want to take a shower too. He hated being dirty. She stood up and decided to try and focus on anything except what had happened in that ally. It wasn't Levi coldly killing those men that scared her. If she had only been a witness to all of this and not the one about to be killed and... She didn't finish the thought. It brought back the painful memory of her mother. Her mother hadn't survived this but she had. She was grateful that nothing serious had actually happened before Levi arrived. The point was that in the back of her mind behind all the shock and pain she had been very impressed. But during the fight all she could really focus on was the mental image of her mothers beaten and broken body. She began washing her body with the soap Levi must have already put in there. It smelled flowery. She tried to focus on the fact that someone as tough and manly as him used a flowery soap but her sense of humor was nowhere in sight. She quickly washed her hair and got out of the shower. Thankfully there was already a towel waiting on the counter. After she was done drying of she realized she had nothing to wear. She tapped on the door. "Levi." Her voice was still horse but a bit better thanks to the steam of the shower. 

"Yeah?" His reply was muffled by the door. 

"I don't have anything to wear." She figured he understood that neither of them could go get her clothes. She had no way of getting any clothes until morning when Fernsby was gone and Levi could go in to get her clothes. 

She heard the sound of footsteps. They came back over to the door and he tapped on it. "Here just put this on." She cracked the door open hiding her body behind it. She cautiously peeked out to see him holding out folded shirt to her with his body turned slightly away. He had his head turned in the other direction away from her. "Just knock when you're ready to come out, and I'll close my eyes. You can sleep in the bed." She took the shirt and ducked back into the bathroom. 

He wasn't too much taller than her but his torso was long enough that his shirt covered her just enough. The shirt was the usual long sleeve button up shirt he usually wore under his uniform. She knocked on the door and then peeked out. He was looking out the window whole body faced away from her. She opened the door all the way and as quickly as she could limped to the bed and crawled under the covers. Levi still looked out the window which was just barely cracked enough for him to see out of. "I'm going to take a shower real quick." His voice was back to it's usual detached tone, so faintly laced with that cold anger. He closed the window all the way and went into the bathroom closing the door behind him. 

Kathrine looked down at her hands. Her ankle, head and throat all throbbed in unison. She put a hand up to her head and felt for any bumps or soreness. The whole left side of her head felt like one giant bruise. She could only imagine what it looked like under her hair. She then felt around her face looking for any more bruises. Her jaw felt like it might be bruised very lightly. The rest of her body seemed to have bruises here and there along with a few scrapes and cuts. She was lucky they hadn't broken anything but then again maybe they had been trying not to on e purpose. She didn't think her ankle was broken because she could obviously still kind of walk around on it. After she was done inspecting her body she began to look around the room looking for another distraction. Levi wasn't even in the shower for 5 minutes. He came out of the bathroom with his hair still dripping water onto the towel around his neck and... no shirt. Well that was definitely a distraction. He had on pants of course but his abs and chest were there in full view. She realized that she must of been wearing the only other shirt he had other than his now very dirty one. He walked over to the chair and dragged it a bit closer to the bed. He then sat down and began drying his hair. Kathrine very slowly and firmly turned her attention away from his body. 

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

She shrugged, "I'm a bit better now I think." She kept her voice low in an attempt to make it not so raspy. 

He finished drying his hair and put the towel on his knee. "Can I see your ankle?"

She shifted and stuck only her leg up to the knee out from under the blanket. He gently rested her foot on the towel on his knee. While he inspected her foot she took the opportunity to inspect him. She knew he was muscular but the man literally had an 8 pack. Normally she would have thought that to be too much but the rest of his body was smooth ripples of muscle that seemed to balance it all out nicely. He surprisingly had very few scars. Only faint lines here and there. He dropped her foot down gently and walked over to the desk. She could see his back muscles ripple as he moved to grab something off the desk. No wonder he had so much strength. Despite his slender build he was pretty muscular. Even his arms were thicker than she'd ever cared to notice in the past. He came back and began wrapping her ankle tightly in a long cloth strip. 

"It's not too badly injured but we still have an entire day of riding coming up so this should help." He was silent for a few minutes. "I know it's not really any of my business... but I've never seen you go down that easily before. Why didn't you fight back more?"

She would have barked a dry laugh if her throat wasn't so sore. "Did you see how big they were? I know I take down titans but that's different. I don't have the training to fight humans like you."

He frowned, "I thought they teach you hand to hand combat in training?" She had learned from him by now that it was true that he hadn't been through training and instead jumped into the fray with natural talent. 

"If by teaching us hand to hand combat you mean they threw us into a dirt ring and told us to charge at each other with a fake knife every now and then." 

"What the hell are they teaching you people in there? Most of the new recruits can barely keep up with my slow pace and none of you are even trained in hand to be in combat."

"They don't train people with the whole hearted intention of training scouts. They train people with expectation that they'll most likely become Garrison."

His frown deepened. "Yea and with the hopes that the ones with any actual talent will become MPs to achieve the goals of those power hungry bastards here in the capital." He finished wrapping her ankle and she put it back under the covers. 

"Do... do you think you could teach me? How to fight I mean?" She never wanted to be caught in another situation like this one ever again. It was what got her mom killed and it was what almost gotten her killed tonight. She owed everything to Levi. It seemed that anytime something happened it was him who kept her alive. He acted like he didn't care but she had come to realize that she was like him. At some point he had been left without any meaning and so he made the scouts his life. He actually cared way more than he would _ever_ let people see. 

He looked surprised at her request but also relieved? Happy? Something like that. "Of course. I won't always be there to save you. And to be honest if something happened to you..." He looked away. "...it would be like losing them all over again." Kathrine had never seen him look so sad before. 

"Levi..." She reached out and touched his arm not wanting to see him with such a sad look on his face. His attention abandoned the floor and returned to her. "Who did you lose?" She felt bad asking but the look on his face had concerned her. 

He took her hand off his chest and looked at it. Her hand was a little bit smaller than his, but just as calloused and tough. "When I lived in the Underground I had two best friends. Isabell and Furlan." He smiled faintly and Kathrine imagined he was imagining their faces or perhaps reliving a memory. "They came up with me when Erwin wanted to recruit us. Honestly the only reason we accepted was because of the reward we would get if we killed him." Kathrines eyes widened a little bit. _He was going to kill Erwin?_ Of all the theories on his past she had heard this was not one she nor anyone else ever thought of. "On our first mission out it was storming bad and so I thought to use it as cover to kill Erwin." He shook his head looking vaguely angry. "I rode right past them." He said it more to himself than to her. "By the time I realized it was a mistake to leave them alone it was too late. I got back just in time to see..." He hung his head low his face obscured in shadows. Now Kathrine felt really bad for asking. It explained why he had been so resentful to get close to anyone. But it also explained why he seemed to always be keeping a close eye on her. She was the first person he'd let anywhere near him since they'd died. And it seemed to her that he blamed himself. Himself and the titans. No wonder he was so dedicated to the scouts now despite being here in the first place to kill Erwin. 

She realized her hand was still in his and she gave his hand a very light squeeze. "I'm sorry for asking." She whispered He only slightly shook his head. _Don't be._ She swallowed. It was only fair that she tell him her side. "I wish I could comfort you and tell you it's ok and it'll get better, but the truth is I don't know. I was never close to anyone like that except my mother. It's kind of pathetic but she was probably the closest thing I'd ever had to a friend besides you. She-" Her voice got a little choked up as the mental image came to her uninvited. "She would have done anything for me. But when I was only a little kid we got corned in an ally by three men." She felt tears flood her eyes and overflow. "And I'll never forget when I saw her body after they'd finished. I can't when it always shows up in my dreams." He looked up at her now from under his bangs. He looked sad. So sad. It only made more tears spill over her cheeks. She sniffed and tried wiping away the infinite flow of tears. "But you know what? I'm glad-" Her voice was choked off again. "I'm glad I at least had her even if I lost her." He looked at her fully now. She was gripping his hand tightly and hadn't even realized it. "Because it's better to have lost, than to have never have loved at all." There was no stopping the tears as she began to tremble. 

"Shh." He reached up and wiped her tears away resting his hand on her cheek. "It's ok. I'm here." He whispered gently as she leaned into his hand. He looked so sad and distant. She wasn't crying just for herself. She also cried for what he had lost. She hated that people like her and him with barely anything still lost so much. The look on his face made her feel like her heart might break. He stood up and hugged her tightly but gently. With her sitting on the bed she only came up to his lower chest. She didn't care she just hugged him back fiercely as she cried. 

~~~

Eventually Kathrine calmed down enough that she only trembled with silent tears. Eventually her breathing evened out and she fell asleep still clutching him. He gently laid her back onto the bed. He then turned the chair around so he could rest his head on the back and sat down resting his head on his arms.

This night had taken an emotional toll on both of them. He hadn't really shared his story with anyone. There were the people who witnessed it but the majority of them were dead now along with the rest of the scouts. He had shoved back the memory of Isabel and Furlan for so long now just pushing forward that when he finally opened up to Kathrine about them the grief and sadness hit in full. And when she cried it just made him feel even sadder. As though the tears she cried were his as well as her own. He had wanted so badly to comfort not only her but also himself. It had been so long since he touched anyone other than an animal in an affectionate way that it was a bit of a shock to his senses not only when he hugged her but also when she hugged him back. This was different from him carrying her. That was with the purpose of accomplishing a goal. But this? This had been purely because he had just wanted to hold her. Admitting that to himself was odd. He had wanted to hold her. He hadn't wanted to touch anyone in so long, but it felt nice to be close to her like that. He'd had women in his bed in the past of course but this was a different sort of intimacy. Something he hadn't even realized he'd been craving. There was of course the fact that she was sleeping in nothing but his only shirt. But the thought was far from his mind, and hers as well apparently. It didn't matter to him at the moment. All that mattered was that she was ok. His eyelids drooped and his mind drifted off into the void.


	15. 翼

Kathrine woke up the next day to find the room Levi free. _Where could he have gone?_ The sun seemed to be fully risen. How long had she slept? The meeting was to take place at noon so it couldn't be too long until then. She would have gotten up to look out the window and check the position of the sun, but she had no pants on and didn't know when Levi would be back. She laid back down and stared at the ceiling. Last night had been rough but was feeling more like one of her nightmares now that she'd gotten some sleep. If it weren't for the fact that her body was aching all over she would have been able to convince herself that was the case. The door opened and Levi walked in. She saw that he was still shirtless and a slight pink bloomed on her cheeks at the thought of a shirtless Levi walking around for all to see. He must have been very discrete about it.

"I got your clothes." She hadn't even noticed he'd been carrying anything she was so focused on the fact he wasn't wearing a shirt. This only caused her pink to promote to a deeper shade.

She looked away from him and back at the ceiling. "Thank you." Her voice was horse but now more from sleep than from nearly being choked to death. 

He put her clothes at the end of the bed and walked over to the window opening it up just enough to peek through the crack. "Put your clothes on." His voice was back to the dead seriousness that it was always at. Absolutely no sign of the lonely sadness or cold rage she had seen last night. She briefly pondered if she had imagined it. She covered herself with the blanket as much as she could and took of his shirt. She realized that it smelled faintly like his soap, but mainly it smelled like cedar wood and kind of musky. It actually smelled really good she realized. 

When she was done dressing, she limped behind him and put a hand on his back, almost on top his left shoulder. "Here's your shirt." He didn't move. She took her hand off his back and chewed her lip thinking that maybe he hadn't heard her. 

But then he turned around and took the shirt. He silently put his muscular arms through the sleeves and began buttoning the shirt up starting at the bottom covering up his abs, then slowly higher up covering his chest. He caught Kathrines eye and raised an eyebrow and she realized she had been staring. 

"I- I could- I should probably-" She gestured to the door and nodded "Mmhmm that." 

He actually looked amused at her being so flustered. "You can stay and watch me finish getting dressed since you seem to enjoy it so much." Anyone else would have thought he was being serious.

His teasing caused her face to do a very convincing impression of a tomato. "Ok now you're just hyping up your own ego." She crossed her arms. She'd hadn't really ever had a _thing_ for anyone before, she was always more focused on surviving to the next day or training, but even she had to admit the Captain was attractive. Even all the other girls had said so in the past. Although they all complained about either his height or attitude. Mostly his attitude considering that only a few of the girls had been taller than him. 

"Today is the main meeting." He said getting serious. Although he was now putting on his cravat which Kathrine for some reason found very amusing. "It starts in an hour so we have enough time to go get breakfast before hand." He slipped on his jacket and started walking to the door. Kathrine limped closely behind him. It was a bit easier to walk on with it wrapped although she still had a slight limp. She didn't think anyone would really notice it unless they really paid attention to how she was walking. They made their way down to the dinning area, got their food, and picked seats near the door. The room wasn't quiet but it wasn't loud either. Kathrine tuned out most if the noise focused on eating her food.

"...found three bodies..."

Kathrine almost choked on her bread causing Levi to give her a strange look. She tried to focus on the sounds around her trying to pick out who she had been hearing when Nina sat down next to her and loosely wrapped something navy blue around her neck. "For you're bruises." She said quietly. "It's best not to have people asking questions about it."

"Oh, thank you, Nina." Kathrine hadn't thought anyone except Levi noticed them. They must have been pretty obvious if Nina had noticed them last night.

Nina nodded. "Don't mention it." 

Just then Chester sat down on the other side of Kathrine followed by Maskam. In any other situation she would have found it funny how all four of them were packed onto one bench with Levi on his own bench across from them. But they're worried faces were enough to make the matter a bit more serious. 

"Kathrine!" Chester exclaimed as he squished in next to her. 

Maskam bowed his head respectfully to Levi, "Captain Levi sir." He then turned to Kathrine leaning around Chester to see her. "Kathrine we were worried about you." 

"Yeah we got back from the bar and the Captain was asking about you when you should have been back before us." He narrowed his eyes and looked closer at her face. "Hey what happened to you? Your jaw is bruised." 

Kathrine nervously laughed, "Oh I was just being so clumsy last night when I got lost that I wasn't paying attention and tripped and fell."

"Really?" Maskam leaned closer causing Chester to squish her even more into Nina who gave a protesting "Hey!" that went completely ignored. "It's not like you to be so clumsy Kathrine." Maskam said.

"Oh!" Chester snapped his fingers. "And you're also lucky you survived! Apparently there was a murderer out on the run last night. You're lucky he didn't find you."

Kathrine pretended to look confused, "Oh really? I guess it's a good thing Captain Levi found me then." 

"Yeah," Maskam said, "Apparently it was a robbery gone wrong."

This caught Kathrine off guard. "A what?"

Nina cut in explaining things more clearly. "Apparently one of them was actually a fairly well known merchant man. The other two were just some common thugs. They suspect there was originally three thugs and that the merchant managed to kill two of them but the third finished him off and got away. But what's really got everyones attention is that the merchant was killed in a fashion very similar to the way Kenny the ripper would kill MPs. Especially since it looks like whoever it was took their time." At the end of her sentence Nina snuck a glance at Levi prompting Kathrine to do the same. He had gone completely still and was looking down at the table his face shrouded in shadows. 

"That's just the main theory anyways." Chester said with a shrug.

Maskam nodded his head in agreeance "There's a lot of other theories going around. Some people think they were making some sort of trade deal and it had gone wrong. The wife of the merchant said he was just out for a walk that night and it wasn't uncommon of him to do so."

"Pretty shady if you ask me." Nina said as she stood up. "Anyways we're just glad you're ok. Come on guys we better go get ready." 

Chester and Maskam stood up and followed Nina out waving goodbye to Kathrine. 

"We should probably get going soon as well. Finish your bread so we can get this whole thing over with." Kathrine nodded. She just wanted to go home and curl up with Void at this point. _Home_. She had used the word so naturally. She really had a home of her own. 

~~~

An hour later everyone was in the meeting room. The quiet chatter immediately stopped when the same man Kathrine had seen before walked in. Premier Dhalis Zachary of all three regiments. The other two regiments were of course not in the meeting. Only the scouts, Supply merchants, and the bureaucrats. 

Premier Zachary sat down at the judge podium. "All right. We have all been called here today for the reinstatement of the scouts now that the the mandatory wall reclamation expedition has failed and is over. Commander of the Scout Regiment Erwin Smith, state your case and proposition."

Erwin stood from his spot in the front middle of scouts, "It is my understanding that now is the best time for the scouts to take action. It is for the greater good of humanity that we reclaim Wall Maria as soon as possible. If we don't take action now then all those people would have died in vain. This would only discourage not only what's left of the citizens of Wall Maria but also the citizens of Rose and even some in Sina. In order to go through with this we would need the support of the bureaucrats and the supply merchants of course." He gestured to two other groups filling the room. Quiet grumbling came from the supply merchants. 

Premier Zachary adjusted his glasses. "As for the bureaucrats, what do you have to say on the matter?" 

A man in the middle of their little huddle stood up. "It will be considered by some as a waste of funding, supplies, and rations..." He sighed looking defeated. "But more importantly the people are grieving. What they need at the moment is hope that something is being done and that their family, friends, and neighbors did not die in vein in the great tragedy of the reclamation expedition." _They're afraid of the people revolting._ Kathrine realized. _It really was a culling. They wouldn't fear the people so much unless there had actually been any chance. But there wasn't. That's the only reason they're giving in to handing us over precious resources. Because they're_ afraid.

Kathrine heard Levi quietly make a "tch" sound in disdain. It seemed he had drawn the same conclusion as her. These men didn't care about the people. They only cared about themselves. There was a little bit more grumbling coming from the supply merchants now. 

"And the supply merchants?" Premier Zachary said loudly to get their attention. 

A fairly round balding man stepped forward. "I'm Dimo Reeves and I'll be speaking for myself and the _other_ merchants." _Why did he emphasize that he would be speaking for everyone?_ Kathrine then noticed some of the others in his group stared at him angrily but it didn't seem to be entirely directed at him. A few glared boldly at the bureaucrats. _There's something going on behind the scenes._ _Are the bureaucrats really twisting their arm into supporting them?_ _But don't the merchants care if the people revolted?_ Kathrine bit her lower lip as she puzzled over it. "We agree to supply this upcoming expedition as well as future ones." 

Premier Zachary nodded. "It seems that we are all in agreement then. The scouts shall be fully reinstated. Shall we discuss the details of your plans and funding? As I'm fairly certain you have already drawn up plans." He gestured to Commander Erwin.

"Of course allow me to explain..."

~~~ 

By the time they had finished the meeting It was about three in the afternoon. They had been willing to agree to reinstate the scouts but that didn't mean they had to be cooperative when it came to how much supplies and funding the scouts got. Their main argument was that the scouts were only a small percentage of what they had once been so they should only have a fraction of the supplies and money they had once got. That had sounded reasonable to Kathrine until they gave details of how much they deemed the appropriate amount. Kathrine sat in Levis room in the wooden chair while he stared out the window lost in thought. He'd been more quiet than usual after the meeting. He was already a quiet man to begin with but this was a whole new level. He'd been this way ever since breakfast. Something about the mention of Kenny the ripper had seemed to get to him. 

"That meeting was... easier than I had expected." Kathrine wanted to draw his attention away from whatever bothered him. 

He didn't look at her but he at least responded. "They all knew they didn't have much of a choice. They fear the people revolting."

"I don't know... The merchants didn't really seem to care. It seemed like someone was pulling the strings. Obviously the bureaucrats I suppose but you would think the fear of a revolt would scare the merchants just as much as the politicians."

"Not exactly. If you think about it, the merchants can easily pick either side. They're kind of a necessity in both scenarios. They could either supply the government and fund the military, or the could supply the people and fund their revolt. They only really have something to fear if the people were to turn their attention to them. But considering that they gave the culled citizens their supplies instead of having them sent out empty handed the people _might_ be tolerant of them." He shrugged his shoulders. 

They spent the rest of the day mostly in silence Kathrine occasionally starting a short conversation while she sketched. She probably could have gone and found Nina and the boys but she didn't really want to leave Levi. She wouldn't have admitted it but the truth was that she was shaken by her near death experience at the hands of other humans. It was different from facing a titan. Titans were mindless creatures. They had no scorn or hatred. They just followed instinct to eat. But human beings were different. They could rationalize. She was one of them. For her to nearly die to one that she had never wronged much less even knew, it had shaken her for some reason. By night fall she waited a little bit before she went to the room she shared with Yin for the night. She wanted to make sure the unpalatable girl was asleep before she went there herself. But she was also worried about Levi. He hadn't gone down to eat with her. She had made her way upstairs and knocked on his door only to find that he was in the exact same spot at the window she'd left him in. She had left her sketches on his desk not expecting him to care enough to look at them. It seemed she had been right. She went back to her sketching for an hour or so. Eventually she began to feel tired and figured Yin would be asleep by now. She hoped she wouldn't have any nightmares that woke the other girl. She didn't want to deal with her. 

She stood up and walked over to Levi. "I'm going to go to bed." 

He only nodded and continued looking out of the window. Kathrine sighed and walked back to the desk and gathered up her drawings. Before she walked out of the door she turned to Levi. "Please try to get some sleep." He didn't say anything or even look at her. 

~~~ 

The next morning bright and early the scouts were getting ready to leave. They had all already eaten and were now getting their horses ready. Kathrine was saddling up her horse when Commander Erwin walked over to her with Leader Hange in tow. 

"Good morning Silver." He said with a slight smile.

"Commander Erwin Sir." Kathrine turned from her horse and saluted him. "And Squad Leader Hange." She added.

"Good morning!" Hange was just as bright and loud as Kathrine remembered her. "Quite perfect weather for riding we have today! Wouldn't you agree?" Hange rested one elbow on her other hand and tapped her chin lightly. "So why are you wearing a scarf? Surely you don't get that cold from riding do you? And on your jaw, that looks li-"

"Hange," Commander Erwin gestured to a cadet conveniently having trouble with his horse which had a mouthful of his hair. "I think you're squad member is having some trouble with his horse."

"Oh dear not _again_." She said casually strolling over to the poor screaming man. 

After she had walked a good distance away the Commander turned back to Kathrine. "I saw the bruises on your neck yesterday before the meeting and I assume since you covered them up you don't want anyone asking about them." Kathrine breathed a sigh of relief. "However, I do have to ask, is everything ok?" _How do I explain this to the Commander?_ "You're roommate had... complaints, that you hadn't even spent the first night in your designated room. She had some, ideas to put it mildly, about why that was but considering your bruises and limp I get the feeling there might have been something wrong."

The Commander had to have either had a very keen eye or be paying close attention to notice her limp. "Well I was just being very clumsy is all. I'm fine now though thank you for asking sir." She put on her best false smile. Unfortunately the Commander didn't look very convinced. 

"If you were assaulted by someone you can always come to me and I'll make sure the person is dealt with."

"No." Kathrine said a little to quickly causing the Commander to ever so slightly raise an eyebrow. "What I mean is, there's no need for that. Any problems I might of had have been uh dealt with already." The last part came out sounding more like a question. 

"Shouldn't we be headed out by now?" Levi walked up behind Erwin leading his horse. "We have a long ride ahead of us. Let's get going already."

Commander Erwin turned to Levi. "Yes of course. I was just checking up on Silver. She seems to have been injured and I was concerned."

Levi mounted his horse and was now looking down at the Commander instead of the other way around. "Trust me, there's no reason to be concerned. My only squad members safety is one of my top priorities." Kathrines heart rose into her throat. He really cared about her that much? "Especially considering that she's a legion all on her own. She's a valuable asset to the scouts." Her heart dropped back into it's place and she rolled her eyes. _Of course._

"Well then that's good to hear. We'll be leaving now." The Commander walked away and Kathrine mounted her horse.

~~~

They arrived back at the base by nightfall. Kathrine went with everyone else to the dinning hall for some food while Levi went to his office. Just as she had suspected he would. After eating she went straight to her room for a shower and to go to bed. She was tired and dirty from the ride and her foot hurt. She crawled between the sheets and immediately fell into blackness. 

She woke with a start some time later with a feeling of free falling through the air. She got up seeing that the sun wasn't too far away from rising and decided to pay Levis office a visit. She drifted downstairs and peeked into his office. She was _very_ surprised to see him asleep in his chair. She didn't see how he could choose to sleep in the chair when he had a perfectly good bed upstairs no matter how comfy the chair looked. She tiptoed forward not wanting to wake him. She didn't think he slept enough but she had the feeling he would still wake at the slightest noise. As she approached she couldn't help but take in how peaceful he looked. He always seemed so tired and serious. It was oddly nice to see his face softened with sleep. His bangs hung across his eyes from his head being slightly tipped forward. Without even breathing or thinking about what she was doing Kathrine reached up and gently brushed his bangs out of his face. She smiled slightly as her finger tips tingled. She then walked over to the window and sat down on the ledge to watch the sun rise. When it was about halfway up Kathrine heard a meow. She had forgotten to close the door all the way behind her and Void had slipped in through the crack. The cat jumped up onto the arm of Levis chair and pawed at him meowing once more. 

"Void." Kathrine said quietly. "Hush before you wake him." 

"It's a bit late for that." Levis sat up in his chair and reached over to pet Void.

The cat meowed again and jumped down from the chair and walked over to the window where Kathrine sat. Levi stood up and walked over to the window where Void jump up onto Kathrines lap with a barrage of meows. Levi stretched and then leaned over Kathrine to open the window a crack. Void leapt from Kathrines lap and out of the ground level window. Kathrine moved her legs off of the ledge and patted it inviting Levi to sit with her. He sat down and leaned his head against the glass looking at her.

"We have roughly a month before the expedition. Do you think you'll be ready for it?" He asked gesturing to her ankle. 

"I think I'll be fine." She gave him a light smile. "Do you think we'll have to for you to train me for fighting? I can wait if not." 

"I think I might be able to slip in a lesson or two." He watched the rising sun.

_I wonder where he learned to fight? He took down three men much larger than him with barely any effort. His fighting style is beautiful but also deadly. But why did it bother him so much when they compared him to Kenny the ripper?_

"Where did you learn to fight? You must have had a really good teacher to have been so precise and you didn't even come close to getting hurt yourself. I... I noticed you seemed to get upset at being compared by Kenny the ripper though." He immediately stiffened his eyes widening for a split second before narrowing. _Maybe I shouldn't have asked._ Kathrine thought nervously.

Levi suddenly relaxed though and he sighed looking very tired. "That's because I was trained by him."

 _He was... He was trained by..._ What _??_ "You mean you were trained by... by Kenny the ripper?"

"Yeah, pretty crazy I know."

"How did that even happen? Were you related to him in some way or did he just happen to take you in?" There was no way she was hearing this correctly. At the same time though she supposed it would explain some things. 

Levi shrugged. "He just showed up one day not long after my mother had died. He took me in for a few years and trained me. He taught me everything I needed to know about surviving. Well enough that I could take down a man four times my size even as a boy. But then one day he just up a disappeared. He had never explained how he knew my mother, where he came from, or why he was helping me." 

"Oh." Kathrine whispered. Another piece of the puzzle that was Captain Levi. 

"What about you?" He asked changing the subject. "How did you survive out there on your own for so long without even knowing how to fight?"

Kathrine actually looked kind of sheepish. "Well it's actually part of the reason why I was so far ahead of everyone in training when it came to the ODM gear. I was just actually really good at parkour." She let out an embarrassed laugh. "I was so small and weak I didn't have a chance at fighting back. So I just became _really_ good at running away." 

He looked at her thoughtfully. "How did you get away from the people who killed your mother?" _Wow that was very direct._ But then again she had asked some very direct questions herself so it was only fair. "Well I guess they thought I was either dead or dying because when I woke up I was covered in my own blood. They thought I was just some foolish little boy trying to protect my mother. So they knocked me out and left me for dead."

He gave her a puzzled look. "They thought you were a little boy?"

"My mom would dress me up and cut my hair as one. She would even call me Rine. So that no one would realize... Anyways that and the bleeding from my head seemed to be enough to make them leave me alone."

"You seem to get head injuries a lot. Although I suppose it _did_ save your life so I won't complain." 

_What is that supposed to mean?_ "Are you implying that you like having me around _that_ much?" She asked with a coy smile. 

He rolled his eyes but actually showed a hint of a smile. "Now you're just hyping up your own ego."

She laughed at the fact that he had just thrown her own words back at her. His hint of a smile shined through a little bit more and he looked away from her and out the window instead. 

"Wanna go get some breakfast?" She asked standing. "You haven't been eating enough lately and you're beginning to make me worry." He looked as though he was considering it but was about to say no. "Come on, _P_ _lease_?" She poked him in the rib and he actually slightly _jumped_ , then quickly batted her hand away with a _very_ annoyed look. Her face lit up. "What was _that_?"

"Absolutely nothing. Let's go." He got up and headed for the door. 

_Levi is ticklish??_ And not only that but he had caved in to her request to eat so easily just to get her to forget it. She definitely didn't though. It was hard not to smile for the rest of the day after that.


	16. Talons

Kathrine had managed to drag Levi down for dinner. As they sat eating Kathrine for the first time wondered who cooked the food. When she had first arrived she had assumed they did shifts here just like in training, and that she would get her shift once she got used to everything. But her she was still not cooking. Which was fine by her because she could barely do that. She usually took up dish duty which the others gladly handed over. 

"Who makes the food around here? It doesn't seem like we do shifts."

"Well back in the day we did shifts but eventually the people that could actually cook got tired of eating the food made by ones who couldn't. So they actually formed a group of people who were deemed good chefs and rotated between them. Unfortunately all except for one died. So him and the younger brother of another along with his two friends took up the role."

"Wait so the younger brother of one of the dead chefs stepped in with his friends?"

"That's what I just said isn't it?" He gave her a look.

She put up her hands. "Just clarifying. Did they just happen to already know how to cook or did the remaining guy teach them? Also so now they just shift it between four people?" Kathrine hadn't really paid attention to the food so she hadn't noticed if it was good or not. After living like she did, food was food and taste didn't matter. Although to her was was good food compared to what she'd always had. No more stolen bread and moldy handouts. Never again.

"They knew enough I'm guessing. I'm not sure exactly the detailed specifics of the kitchen. Besides," He gestured around the room, "There's not too many mouths to feed anymore so it wouldn't be hard to shift between them."

"Oh. Well I guess that makes sense."

~~~

Kathrine and Levi were walking back from dinner when they heard the sound of someone running to catch up to them. 

"Captain Levi sir." A young man saluted him. "Commander Erwin wishes to speak with you in his office, sir."

Levi made a very exasperated face. "Fine let's go."

The man looked nervously at Kathrine. "Ah actually sir, just you."

He glared at the poor man, who nervously shifted from foot to foot. 

"I'll just turn in for the night." Kathrine said with a smile. "Goodnight both of you." She then turned and walked away. 

Levi didn't even bother knocking on Erwins door. He just walked right in. "You wanted to see me?"

Erwin looked up from his papers and gave a nod to someone behind Levi. Most likely the man who had summoned him, they then shut the door behind him. "Captain Levi, I was hoping to inquire you about the injuries of Silver." He folded his hands in front of him. "Is she doing ok?"

"She's doing fine." Levi sounded irritated and offered no further explanation.

"Hm. Well I'm glad she's doing alright. Seems that was just an odd night. Such a straight forward murder in the capital is a rare occurrence. But not only was it one body but three. Not to mention Squad members going missing for a night only to appear the next morning as though nothing had happened but bruised and limping. How _is_ her throat by the way?"

Levi and Erwin just stared at each other in tense silence. 

"Are you implying something? _Commander._ "

Erwin sighed and closed his eyes looking down for a moment. He seemed a bit worn down. "No, I am not implying anything. I trust that you did whatever had to be done to protect your squad member. Even if the people in the capital would not have seen it that way. I'm glad I made the decision to put her under you. You two seem to be a good match. You work well together and you fight well together. I trust that whatever inflicted those injuries on her was dealt with accordingly. As for the three bodies in the capital it seems they've hit a dead end. The kills were clean enough that there's no leads. They were either killed with their own weapons or had their neck snapped. Whoever did it was well trained and precise."

"Well isn't that just a damn shame. They won't ever catch the killer." Levi meant it. Even if by some miracle they found out it was him they would never catch him.

Erwin smiled. "Perhaps that's for the best. Will Silvers leg be ok by the expedition?"

"She'll be fine."

Erwin nodded. "That's good to hear. Goodnight Captain Levi."

Levi left the office and walked back to his own. They had an understanding then. Erwin had a knack for piecing things together. It was the reason Levi was even there in the first place. Erwin had figured out something about an important political figure head and the man wanted Erwin dead. So he hired Levi, Furlan, and Isabel to get the job done. Of course things hadn't gone as planned. They rarely did. 

~~~

Kathrine swung a right hook with all her might and Levi gracefully dodged it yanking her arm forward and pushing her on her back just hard enough that she fell forward and landed on her hands and knees. This had been going on for a while now with her trying to attack him only for him to easily dodge her attack and point out what she did wrong. Most of the time she ended up on the ground. Whether from her own clumsiness or with his help. She was starting to get legitimately frustrated. 

"You're footing is too lose and you're unbalanced." She sighed and got back up. "Also a snail could have seen that attack coming. Not just because of how slow you are but also because of how obvious it was. Again."

He stood a few feet in front of her arms relaxed at his sides. He wouldn't even take up a stance that's how harmless she was. She was glaring at his impassive face when she thought up an idea. He had actually jumped the other day when she jabbed him in the ribs. She went in for the exact same attack again except she actually tried to be quicker about it this time. She went in for the right hook but feigned at the last second and went to jab him in his ribs. He moved so fast she barely even saw him and she didn't even come close to hitting him. In a blur she had one arm gently pinned behind her back and the other pinned to her chest. Levi was now standing behind her although she could just barely feel him he was barely even touching her.

She felt him lean in so close over her should that his lips tickled the shell of her left ear when he said very quietly, "What were you trying to do Kathrine." It wasn't a question. They both knew exactly what she had been doing. It was a taunt. 

"I was trying to attack you." It came out as more of a question than she had intended. 

He pressed her up against his body pinning her arm between them and freeing his hand. She went completely still as she felt his finger so very lightly touch right above her hip and slowly trail up her right side. She wasn't even breathing, all her focus completely honed in on his finger trailing a line of fire across her skin even through the fabric of her shirt. When he reached her lower rib he suddenly lightly jabbed her causing her whole body to jerk as she squeaked. 

He very quietly chuckled. It was so quiet even with him right behind her. But she felt it very clearly with his chest pressed right up against her back. Her face turned bright red. He had actually laughed. It was barely a laugh but it was there. He let go of her left hand still pinned to her chest and stepped away from her leaving her feeling suddenly very cold."Over all it wasn't too bad of an attack. Especially if you had a hidden knife." His voice was completely back to seriousness. She turned to face him seeing the ghost of a smile trying and failing to make a full appearance. "A bit of work on your speed and stance. We're done for today though. I'm going to take a shower." Kathrine stood there in a slight daze for a moment. Her side felt like the blade of a very sharp knife had just been dragged up it. It was tingling in shock waves that reverberated to her toes. She took a few deep breaths and went to take a cold shower. 

~~~

As the days passed on, her bruises began to fade, and her foot was good enough for her to practice with ODM gear without risk of making it worse. Levi had expressed concern about her being out of practice. But after a bit of a slow paced warm up she was racing through the training grounds with him at top speeds. With her bruises gone she one day went off to find Nina to return the scarf. She found the woman in the dinning hall around dinner. 

"Hey Kathrine!" Chester patted the bench he sat on. "Come join us!"

"I'm sorry Chester I would but I'm just here to return something to Nina then I have to go clean my gear."

He waved her off with a "pfft" and went back to eating.

Nina turned her attention to Kathrine. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to return this to you." Kathrine held out the blue scarf Nina had given her. "Thanks for letting me use it."

"Oh!" Nina laughed. "Yea that thing. I actually stole it from Chester."

Chester leaned glanced over at the scarf in Kathrines hand and swallowed a mouthful of food. "Oh _yeah._ Completely forgot I even had that thing. Didn't even notice you took it Nina." He turned his attention back to his meal.

"So... do you want it back?" Kathrine asked.

He shook his head. "Nah, you keep it. It might come in handy for you if you get cold or something. I never even really used it."

"Where did you get it from?"

He paused mid-bite. "Huh, you know, I've actually no clue." He shrugged and resumed eating.

Nina just chuckled and shook her head prompting Kathrine to smile. "Alright well thank you." She waved goodbye and went to go clean her gear.

~~~

About a week later Kathrine and Levi were once again training in hand to hand combat. 

"Let me see your fighting stance." Levi commanded. 

Kathrine took up her fighting stance, which literally meant standing there with her hands balled up in front of her. Levi sighed quietly through his nose.

"What?" She asked sounding slightly offended.

He circled around her and stood in front of her arms crossed. "Legs apart."

"What?"

"Legs. Apart."

She spread her legs out a bit more. Levi thought for a moment. Learning from Kenny had not been easy. It had basically been Kenny beating him until he began to figure it out. But something Levi had leaned by now was that the way it had all just suddenly clicked into place for him didn't work for other people. Just beating her until she got it wasn't going to work very well. They would eventually spar and she was bound to take a few hits but he planned on _really_ holding back. He didn't want to hurt her.

"Ok like this." He took up a fighting stance as an example. She studied him for a moment then tried to copy him. She did a fairly well job aside from the fact that she was stiffer than a corpse. "Well it's a start." He circled her once again. "You're too stiff. Loosen up and balance on the balls of your feet. There are many different fighting styles and this is a fairly basic one. So I think this is a good place to start." He faced her, "Alright let's start off with basic maneuvers at a slow pace. As you begin to pick up on the muscle memory we'll speed up. You'll have to pay close attention to my movements so you learn how to see a certain attack coming beforehand. I'm not going to do it in a pattern either. It'll be at random so if you don't reflect, counter, or block in the right way you're gonna get hit. But I'm getting ahead of myself here. We'll get into that stuff when we speed up the pace. Now, if I were to go into an attack like this your best chance would be to block like this..."

He went through the maneuvers with her showing her how to block and counter. The plan was that they would do this once a week. Levi planned on teaching her more often when they got back from the expedition. Other than that their time was mostly spent running drills. He was pushing others hard too. He hoped Erwin would let him off the hook on running practice drills after things balanced out once more. He was a Captain not a babysitter.


	17. Stars

The night before the mission Levi sat on the roof looking up at the stars lost in thought. He remembered the first night he had been on the surface with Isabel and Furlan. 

_It's beautiful._ Furlans voice echoed in his head.

_Isabel, Furlan and Levi sat on the second story ledge looking up at the stars,_

_"So is it true that the stars really spin round and round?" Isabel asked pointing up at the night sky._

_"Apparently." Furlan replied to Levis left._

_Levi looked over at his friend. "Furlan. I've decided I won't kill him for now." Furlan looked at him in surprise. "I'm going to trust you."_

_Furlan smiled at him._

Their voices faded away with the memory and Levi looked down away from the stars and blocked out the images of their deaths. 

_"I'm going to trust you."_

The sound of the trap door opening chased away his thoughts. 

"I thought I'd find you up here." _Kathrine._ He turned just enough to see her in the corner of his vision. She actually had her hair down which was rare. It was gently dancing in the breeze. She wore her black long sleeve shirt and light grey lose pants.The slight smile she had faded away when she saw his face. She looked worried now. "What's wrong?" She asked.

Levi was surprised that she was able to pick up on the fact that he was upset so quickly. "I was just thinking."

She sat down next to him dangling her legs over the side. "The last time I saw you look this sad was when we were in the capital."

He didn't answer her question and instead asked her one instead. "What are you doing awake? We have a mission pretty early in the morning you know." 

She looked up at the stars. "I was just having some trouble sleeping." 

"Trust me I get it but just don't pass out on me tomorrow or get eaten."

She snorted in response. 

"Hey Levi,"

"Huh?"

"You remember that time we were talking about what we'd do after all of this and I had no idea?"

"Yeah? Did you finally come up with an idea?"

"I think maybe... I'd like to sell artwork."

He looked at her with surprise. She was looking up at the stars with a light smile and wistful look in her eyes. "You're an artist?"

She gave him a slight frown. "What did you think I was doing all day after that meeting in the capital?"

He knew she'd been at the desk in his room working on something all day. But he'd been so lost in thought and it didn't really seem his business to snoop through whatever she had been doing even if she'd left it on his desk.

"Sorry I was a bit distracted that day."

"I noticed. What was on your mind that day? I mean you're usually quiet and thoughtful but that was different. You were obviously bothered."

"Tch. Well of course I was bothered. I was thinking about the meeting." He looked down and shook his head. "All those deaths just to satisfy those damned pigs."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "The meeting really got to you that much?"

"No. It wasn't just that. I probably shouldn't have killed those men the way I did. But truth is... if I were given the chance to do it over I'd still kill them like I had."

He didn't want to admit it but he would do what he could to keep her safe. She was a capable person all on her own when given the right tools. And he couldn't always be there to protect her. That was the main reason he was so willing to train her. He didn't want her to get hurt. 

"How did you even find me?" He turned his head towards her to find her looking at him. "That night. How did you find me?"

"You got lucky. You happened to be close enough to the bar that I heard yelling." 

Her eyes widened a little. "If you hadn't happened to hear that..."

"You'd probably be dead. Or worse. I got there in time to see you pinned to the wall by your throat." He threw an angry glance at her neck. The bruises were long gone by now though. "The other two were so busy trying to make you stop thrashing that I was able to walk right up and snap the brutes neck."

"That wasn't the first time you've killed another human was it?"

Had she just realized that? Or was she just now beginning to look at him differently for it? Would she fear him like many other people did? "Do you think I'm a monster for it?" He hoped not. Normally he wouldn't care. But this was Kathrine. He didn't want her to fear him. She had been quiet at first but it was obvious she hadn't feared him. She didn't seem to look at him like the others did. Maybe because she understood in some way. At least better than others did.

"No. I think if you did it was for a good reason. You're not the type to do something like take a life just because you feel like it. Would you beat the hell out of someone because they gave you an excuse and you felt like it? Definitely. As long as they're not someone you're acquainted of course. But... no. I don't think you are. You saved my life after all. How could I possibly look at you like that?" She gave him a gentle smile. "So thank you." 

Levi was so surprised he didn't know what to say for a minute. She looked at the sky.

"I trust you Levi." She barely whispered. His eyes slightly widened and the faintest gasp escaped his lips. She didn't notice though. She was starting to look a little heavy lidded in fact. She wisely got off of the edge and sat against the stone wall. Levi got down and sat next to her. It was hard to tell in the dark but he thought her face turned a little bit of a darker shaded color. Was she blushing? He was a little disappointed he couldn't really tell. 

They sat in comfortable silence for a while. Levi was lost in thought thinking about the stack of paperwork that would await him when they returned from the mission when Kathrines head slumped on his shoulder. He looked over at her in surprise and found her soundly asleep. _Good._ He thought. _She needs to sleep._

He stood up and opened the door. He then gently picked her up with her head against his left shoulder, one arm supporting her upper back, and the other under her legs. He carried her into her room and gently laid her in her bed. He leaned against the door after he'd closed it and leaned his head back with a sigh. He was getting _way_ too attached to this girl. Something gently brushing past his legs called to his attention. He looked down to see Void looking up at him. She meowed at him and nudged his leg again. He gave her a smile and began walking to his room. He should at least try to get some sleep.

~~~

Kathrine woke to the sounded of someone banging on her door.

"... 2 hours so get the hell up Kathrine." She looked around slightly disorientated. She didn't remember getting back to her room? Levi banged on her door again. "Don't make me come in there."

"Yea I'm getting up! Relax Levi." She faintly heard his retreating footsteps. She hopped out of bed and got ready throwing on her uniform and putting her hair up into its usual tight braid. She ate a rushed breakfast alongside all the other cadets who were rushing to eat. She snatched an extra piece of bread and forced it onto Levi who was readying his horse outside. She shooed him off telling him to eat while she saddled up their horses. He looked slightly grumpy but ate his food off to the side quietly. After all the squads were ready they headed off to Trost district. Normally they would have left half of their force there to reduce casualties and risk of wiping out the entire scout regiment. But they had so few people and this was only meant to be a three day expedition. At this point they only had six teams anyways with roughly six people to a team. There was the exception to Levi squad of course. As well as Nina and Gelgar squad who only had five people. All 32 of the scouts would be heading out on this mission.

Erwin walked over to Levi and Kathrine with Nina in toll. Everyone else was busy readying their horses around them to even notice the commander was right there. "Levi squad. I'd like to have a quick word." Levi and Kathrine gave him their full attention. "As you both know we used to have teams designated to clear out the titans before the gates were opened. Of course a good number of them are dead now so I'm asking if you're up to the challenge. Lauderdale squad has agreed to take on the task with or without you although you would give everyone a better chance."

Levi crossed his arms. "If it helps us keep our men alive then of course we will."

The commander nodded. "Very well. Then upon arrival you are to take the left side while Lauderdale and whomever she choses will cover the right." He walked away without another word while Nina stayed behind.

She held her hand out to Kathrine. "Good luck out there." 

Kathrine grabbed her hand with a clap. "You too Nina. Stay safe."

They parted ways and Erwin announced it was time to head out once everyone was mounted. 

It was only a few hours ride to the district of Trost. Once they arrived at the gates Levi and Kathrine jumped up and into the air scaling the wall. Kathrine could see three other figures doing the same off to her right. She flung herself above the wall floating in midair for a second before falling onto the wall with a roll. They all peeked over the side and looked down to see a decent sized gathering of titans. 

"Alright let's not waste any time." Levi said loud enough for everyone to hear. He jumped off the wall and free fell catching himself with his gear before he got too close to any buildings. Kathrine backed up a little bit and then dove over the edge as though she were diving into water. She heard the other scaling down the wall with their gear. She swooped down low distracting the titans and drawing them away from the gates where they had all clustered together. Levi came in behind her on cleanup and dealt with the ones that had taken the bait. After some time they had managed to clear out the majority of the titans with only a few still off in the distant parts of the city. 

"Alright we're all clear." Nina called, "Klaus, fire the signal." A shot rang out followed by green smoke as her squad member shot a flare into the sky. 

They all waited on top of the buildings while the gates opened and the scouts poured through. Ninas remaining squad members that had stayed behind the wall had brought her horses through. Her, Klaus, and Chester all jumped down and onto their horses. Kathrine and Levi waited for Hanges squad to pass. Levi spotted Hange who had his horse and Kathrine followed mounting her horse who was being led by Hanges second in command, Moblit. 

Yesterday it had been explained what this expedition would be about. The long term goal was to create a path to Shiganshina. But for now they were to focus on the first part of this path. There was a Garrison fort not too far from the Trost district within wall Maria. All they had to do was get to this fort then search the nearby towns, and villages for supplies. The commanders long range scouting formation would work for this since they had so many people. Kathrine and Levi were placed on the left wing and would be spotting and killing any titans that posed a threat to the formation. 

They spent the day riding through the country without much incident. Any titans Kathrine and Levi spotted where easily and hastily dispatched. All the extra training they had done together was paying off for sure. They arrived at the old Garrison base not too long before sunset. Despite the fact that they still had a few hours the Commander ordered everyone to hold off searching the nearby towns until tomorrow. They searched the building for any titans or bodies. There weren't any titans thankfully and it seemed that all of the Garrison soldiers had managed to get out before the titans were anywhere near close. They'd apparently had enough time to even lock everything up. of course this was no problem when picking the locks was so easily done. It was safe to assume that since everything had been locked up it meant that no culling victims were inside nor any titans that might have followed them. 

That night Kathrine and Levi took up a small office to sleep in. She laid out her bed roll in front of the desk and Levi laid his out next to hers. She laid down and was surprised when he followed suit. 

"You're actually going to sleep?" She asked.

"Might as well try. It's not like I have paperwork."

Kathrine fell into a comfortable deep sleep. She hadn't gotten enough sleep the night before and now both her body and mind were exhausted. Who knew what tomorrow would bring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been away for a few days taking care of personal stuff and in a way also procrastinating typing this next chapter out. I enjoy writing of course I just get a bit nervous when it comes to Levis affectionate side. I have to remind myself almost constantly while writing that just because he is cold and quiet in the show doesn't mean he's always like that. He's also human and like any other human probably needs someone to confide in so he doesn't get too badly effected by the things he goes through. I also try to keep in mind that this takes place not too long after Isabel and Furlan had died and it was obvious that they meant a lot to him. So of course he's going to be picky about the people he's around.


	18. Birds of a feather

Kathrine woke unsure of why her sleep had been disturbed. She looked around seeing it was still dark outside. She sat up and yawned and stretched. She could just barely see the room lit up by the moon light coming through the small window on the other side of the desk. Heavy gasping breaths caught her attention and she looked towards the source. 

Levi was asleep on the roll next to hers. He had a pained expression on his face. It wasn't like the sad expressions Kathrine had seen on him before. It was a mix of rage and grief. Kathrines breath caught in her throat. He was having a nightmare. Kathrine settled onto her knees and reached over lightly touching his arm. "Hey..." She said gently shaking it.

A firm hand grabbed her wrist and swiftly flipped her onto her back on top of her bed roll. In less than a second her whole body was pinned. Her eyes met ones that flashed like liquid silver in the moon light. "Levi." She said his name gently and he froze breathing heavily. They just looked at each other for a few more moments before he suddenly moved off of her and laid down on his back just staring up. "You were having a nightmare." 

He didn't say anything. She turned on her side and looked at him. He was probably going to be like this until morning now. She knew he wasn't going to respond and that it would be a bad idea to try pushing him into talking. Even if it wasn't about whatever he'd been dreaming. But it felt wrong for her to just go back to sleep and ignore that he obviously wasn't ok. Very tentatively she reached out her hand and put it over his lightly squeezing it. He didn't react. He didn't even pull away. She slowly began to pull her hand away when ever so lightly she felt his hand squeeze hers in return. Before she could decide whether to leave it there or pull away he made the choice for her by turning onto his side facing away from her taking his hand along with him. 

She felt oddly disappointed as she fell back asleep.

~~~

Kathrine and Levi were up and ready to go the next morning just as the sun peeked over the horizon. It was best for them to head out early before the titans became too active. Kathrine and Levi rolled up their bed rolls and set all their things in a neat pile just in case everything had to be grabbed in a hurry. Levi didn't show any signs of being tired from lack of sleep aside from the dark circles that were always under his eyes. He didn't feel as bad as he normally did when he woke up from that dream. It had been nice to have Kathrine there to comfort him even if he had turned away. He was grateful to her for waking him even if it meant less sleep. It seemed that in some ways she took care of him just as much as he did her. But there was always that fear holding him back. He definitely cared about her but that was what made losing a person so painful. As long as he kept her at a distance then it at least wouldn't hurt as bad. She'd still somehow ended up getting close to him. He was sure it was obvious to the others that he was softer with her than anyone else. He wouldn't be surprised if there were rumors going around about them. 

Erwin called everyone to meet in the supply room while they geared up and ate breakfast. He stood in front of a large map nailed to the wall. 

"As some of you may know there are a three nearby towns. Today we will be fanning out and searching these towns and bringing supplies you find back here. My squad and Zacharias Squad will be covering this town." He pointed at a spot on the map. "Hange and Lauderdale Squad here, and Levi and Gelgar Squad here. As for Lorenzo squad you will be split up between us in case anything goes wrong and anyone is in need of medical assistance. One person per search team, send two an extra along with Levi and Gelgar squad since they have lower numbers." 

Lorenzo squad was what was left of the scouts medics. Each squad was designated as having a job. Erwins squad was of course the command squad, Hanges was research, and Gelgars were vets. Lauderdale and Mikes were a mix of people at the moment. Then of course there was Levis own squad. Just him and Kathrine. He wasn't entirely sure what they were but he supposed they could be considered elite since no one else here could match their skill level and his entire squad consisted of just the two of them. 

Everyone finished gearing up and eating then got ready to head out. Levi led Kathrine over to Gelgar and his squad. There were five people in his squad including Gelgar himself. One of his squad members happened to be that girl Fernsby had gotten into a fight with. Bianca. Levi didn't miss the sneer she threw in Kathrines direction. Kathrine pointedly ignored it.

"Ah there you are Levi." Gelgar said with a nod. "Now we just need to wait for Lorenzo to send over her two chosen medics."

"Right here sir," Two young men saluted them. "Medics Einah and Viktor reporting in from Lorenzo squad, sir."

"Good let's get going then." Levi said walking away. He didn't see a point in standing around introducing themselves. They had work to do. Kathrine of course was right behind him. He liked that he didn't have to verbally tell her what to do. She wasn't the type to stand around uselessly sharing names either. Although she probably would have been nicer about it. 

They saddled up their horses, prepped the wagon, and headed off to the east where the supposed town was. Teams Lauderdale, Gelgar, and Zacharias, where each in charge of a wagon so it made sense the way Erwin had split them up so each team had a wagon. It didn't take them long to spot the town. It was a fairly nice looking town aside from it being completely abandoned. 

"Alright we'll take out any titans then form a circle while some go down to collect load supplies onto the wagon." Gelgar called as they approached the town. Levi had no problem with Gelgar taking the lead. It made his job easier. 

"Sir." Kathrine called to Gelgar.

"What is it Silver?"

"What are we to do if we find any bodies? There is a chance there may be some left from the cu- reclamation expedition."

"Good question." He raised his voice for the others around them to hear. "If any of you come across a body from the mass expedition you are permitted to retrieve their name patch. _Only_ if you are not putting yourself or others at risk."

"Yes sir!" His squad called.

They arrived at the town and Levi immediately zipped off his horse and onto the first building with Kathrine close behind him. There only seemed to be one titan taking up residence in the little town. It was leaned up against a building in the shade, still sluggish from the lack of sunlight. There presence was enough to make it more active. It slowly crawled forward pulling itself out of the shadows of the building. It's time in the sunlight was short lived as Kathrine swung down and with a spin sliced a chunk from the back of its neck. Levi couldn't help but admire her as she did. Even he had to admit she had a beautiful gracefulness about her. She swooped back up onto the roof next to him. Her light blonde hair was in a braid with loose strands blowing across the bridge of her nose slightly obscuring her freckles. Her dark blue eyes met his. 

"Like what you see, Captain Levi?" She asked with a sly grin. 

"Tch, don't flatter yourself." He couldn't help but smile a little though. At some point their friendly teasing had became somewhat flirtatious. Levi knew it was in a way because of him from when he teased her that time she saw him shirtless in the capital. He had mostly done it to distract her from her thoughts. He couldn't deny that he liked it though. 

"Alright," Gelgar called out, "Levi squad, Viktor, Harold, and I will take watch duty. Einah, Bianca, Alex, and Xander, you're on cargo duty. We'll start over here and work our way over to that warehouse." He pointed to a large building with big double doors. 

They all took up their positions in a loose circle around the wagon. They went throughout the day without much trouble aside from the occasional titan which was easily cut down. They checked any store buildings and houses they happened to pass eventually reaching the warehouse. They found only one body. Alex had gone into a house and came back out saying someone should come take a look at what he found. Gelgar zipped down and followed him into the house. They came out a few minutes later and Gelgar announced that they had found a body. 

"Glad I didn't have to see that." Kathrine said.

They lock on the warehouse was easily broken. They pulled the wagon over in front of the doors and began searching for anything worth their time.

"Thank god we're almost done." Said Harold on a nearby roof.

"Almost." Kathrine pointed out. "Don't let you're guard down."

The sun was a few hours from setting now. They would have no choice but to leave soon anyways. 

"Got one headed this way!" Viktor called from the other side of their circle formation. A titan was casually making its way towards the town. It got close to the edge and paused. "What's it doing?" 

Suddenly the titan bust into a run and ran straight past Viktor and Harold making a beeline for the soldiers on the ground. Xander didn't waste a second. He hopped onto the wagon and got the horses into action. 

"Shit." Einah made a jump trying to escape with his gear. The titan launched itself at Einah and snatched him from the air crushing Alex under its foot in the process.

"Shit! Kathrine-" Before Levi could finish the titan went into the warehouse were Bianca had run. He let out a growl. There was nothing they could do now. At least Xander had the good sense to move the wagon so they hadn't wasted a days of work. As well as the fact that Einah and Alex hadn't died completely meaningless deaths. 

"No!" Kathrine moved to jump off of the roof.

"Stand down, Kathrine!" Levi couldn't let her run in there at be at risk of the titan.

"But she's still in there!" She looked at him wide eyed.

He gave her a hard look. "That's an order Silver!" Hopefully the use of her last name would get the point across.

She looked so devastated but he just couldn't risk losing her. Not only was she a crucial soldier, but he also meant too much to him. He was willing to admit that to himself in this situation. 

Biancas scream cut through the air jolting Kathrine into action. "Damnit Kathrine!" He leapt off the roof moving to block her. Time seemed to slow as he moved in front of her. She used her gear yanking herself back just enough that she didn't crash into him then let herself fall and pulled herself down right under him. She landed on the ground with a roll. 

Levi was appalled. She had so easily dodged him. It wasn't that she was faster than him but just that he hadn't expected her to do it. In a way it felt like a betrayal. He didn't think them being able to read each others movements would come back around to bite him like this.

He dropped like a stone and chased her into the warehouse. He skidded to a stop as soon as he was through the doors. The titan was in the back corner chewing on something. A pair of legs were sticking out of its large fist. It seemed Kathrine had walked in just in time to see Bianca get bitten in half judging by the mixed expression of horror and annoyance. She shot a wire into the titans shoulder ready to attack its nape. Out of spite Levi launched himself across the nape of its neck not even giving her the chance to move. He was nothing more than a blur that went by. The titan stopped chewing and fell over. Levi half turned towards Kathrine. She had never seen him with this expression before. He looked _very_ pissed. Especially with the titan blood slashed across his face that was slowly evaporating. 

"I gave you an order." His voice was dangerously low. This was almost worse than being yelled at. 

She stood straight. "I'm sorry, sir, but I couldn't just stand by and let her be killed without at least trying to do something." 

He started walking towards her meaning to go out of the doors behind her. He paused next to her. "You seem to forget your place, Silver. You will obey my orders or you will be removed from my squad." He showed no reaction to the look of hurt that overcame her face. He didn't actually mean it but he had to get the point across somehow. She had to understand that out here there was no room for disobeying orders.

They quickly finished loading up what was left there. They made room for what was left of their fallen comrades bodies. They had found sheets from the nearby houses and wrapped up was left of them individually. The earlier light mood was long gone. Harold and Viktor had blood on their arms and hands from picking up pieces of body parts. Kathrine hadn't spoken since Levi told her off for disobeying his orders. He felt slightly bad but he was still pissed off enough to override the guilt. They made it back to the Garrison fort without too much incident. One titan was spotted off in the distance but was far enough away not to be a problem. It seemed to be headed north to Trost. 

The good news was that no other people had encountered any abnormals. Which resulted in no other casualties. Levi and Kathrine had a silent dinner after unloading the supplies off the cart. She went to bed without saying a word and rolled over onto her back facing away from him. Levi ignored her with a purpose. If he let it get to him then would she even learn her lesson? Not to mention the fact that she had so deliberately dodged him still stung. 

~~~

The next morning everyone packed up their horses and they took on a small sized long distance formation heading north. They made it through the day with no more casualties and arrived back at the town surrounding the gates into Trost. Levi and Lauderdale squad were once again sent out to clear out the titans. Once they were done Levi and Kathrine regrouped on a roof ready the remount their horses. 

"Let's go." Levi said once he spotted them.

"Oh so you're not going to get mad at me for killing titans this time?" Kathrine snapped. She knew it was a bad idea but she was pissed at this point. That was the fist time he's said anything since the rest of yesterday or all of today so far. 

"You're really gonna start mouthing off, Silver?" He snapped. 

She immediately regretted opening her mouth when she saw the look in his eyes. She backed down. "No, sir."

"Tch." He jumped down without another word and Kathrine followed. 

~~~

Back at the base Kathrine went straight to her room once she had finished taking care of her horse. Levi didn't see her for the rest of the night. He couldn't be bothered by it at the moment either. He had managed to cool down a bit but then she just had to go and mouth of to him like a little brat. He decided he was going to go to dinner even if she wasn't. He sat in their usual spot in the back corner by himself. 

He had barely touched his food half an hour later when someone sat down on the bench across from him.

"I'm not really in a talkative mood, Lauderdale." He scowled at her from behind his bangs.

"Listen I know it's really none of my business but whatever has gotten between you and Kathrine you should really clear up."

His scowl turned into an outright glare. "You're right it is none of your business." 

She crossed her arms not backing down from his glare. "I heard what happened. Don't you think you should trust her a bit more?"

_I've decided I won't kill him for now. I'm going to trust you._

Levi stood up glaring down at her. Whatever she saw on his face actually evoked a look of poorly hidden fear on her face. "Trust doesn't guarantee her survival. You need to realize that before you end up getting your own squad killed. This is reality not some happy fairytale where everyone gets a happy ending. People will _die_ out there and it'll be on you're hands because you didn't make the right call." He leaned against the table towards her lowering his voice menacingly. "So you better pray you make the one you regret least." He stood up straight grabbing his plate and walked away. The few people that were still in the mess hall had gone dead silent and wouldn't even look at him as he walked out of the room.


	19. Silver lining

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is where things get pretty sexual so be warned.

Kathrine and Levi spent the next week or so in awkward tense silence. Mostly avoiding each other unless forced into a situation where they couldn't. 

Kathrine was sitting in the mess hall by herself in the back corner. She felt like she had before she actually made friends. Except before it was tolerable because she didn't mind being alone. Now she was miserable. She had grown so used to having Levi nearby to tease or joke around with. 

Nina slid into the seat across from her. "You're looking a bit miserable."

"Hello to you too, Nina." Kathrine sounded just as miserable as she felt. 

"You should talk to him." Nina didn't even have to explain who "him" was.

"Yeah, I don't see how that could possibly backfire." Kathrine said sarcastically.

"It's better than just letting your relationship with him fall apart." 

Kathrine sighed knowing Nina had a point. Although Kathrine knew she had shot herself in the foot by mouthing off when they had arrived back at the gates. 

After she finished barely eating she went back to the tower and knocked on Levis office door. She still had a small amount of time until the sun set. Hopefully she could use combat training as an excuse. 

"What." He definitely didn't sound open to talking. She opened the door and saw him working on paperwork. He was out of his uniform and gear. Instead he was wearing his casual long sleeve v-neck shirt, rolled up to his elbows. "I said 'What.' Not 'Come in.'"

Kathrine sighed. "Can we please just talk about this? I don't want things to be like this between us."

"What do you want, Silver." He completely ignored her request.

Kathrine just gave up at this point. Maybe using training as an excuse would work. "We haven't done combat training since we got back."

He stopped writing and looked up at her. "You wanna do combat training?" He stood up. "Fine. Let's go."

Kathrine began to feel nervous as he brushed past her in the doorway. _Well, there's no backing out now._ She thought as she followed him. 

He led her outside and around the side of the wall to a little flat cleared out area. "Here. Stance."

He stood with his back towards the castle wall. She faced him and took up her stance. Before she could even mentally prepare herself her legs were swept out from under her. She landed with an "Oof" and glared up at Levi who just gave her an impassive look. 

"Again." He commanded. 

She stood up and took her stance again. This time she managed to deflect a blow aimed for her stomach. But not the one the followed right behind it. This went on for a few more blows. By the fourth time she landed on her back again she was fairly frustrated. 

"Again."

She sat up, "Is that really necessary?" 

"Apparently the only way for you to learn is the hard way."

She got up and took up her stance, "I really wish you would just let it go. I already said sorry." 

She dodged a jab aimed at her head and went to counter it. He easily blocked her and spun her around shoving her away from him. "I'll let it go when you learn your lesson."

She regained her balance before she fell and turned glaring daggers. "What lesson is there to learn?!" She stalked back over to him.

His emotionless mask cracked a little. "You need to learn not to question or disobey my orders." Kathrine noticed his voice had risen the slightest fraction. 

He moved to kick her feet out from under her but she managed to jump back in time. "What difference does it make? It changed nothing anyways." She charged forward and he smoothly dodged and tripped her. She scrambled back to her feet and turned towards him. 

He actually looked pretty pissed now. "You could have died charging in blindly like that." He stalked towards her jabbing and kicking.

She somehow miraculously managed to keep up although he was pushing her towards the wall. "So what?" She yelled. "I'm a _soldier_! Soldiers die all the time, it's part of the job! WHAT MAKES ME SO SPECIAL!?" Their exchange of fists had become more intense as she yelled at him but he finally snapped and moved faster than she was able to keep track of. His eyes a burning silver slash as he moved slamming her into the wall with his arm across her chest and his other hand against the wall next to her head. 

"BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU!" He finally snapped and yelled back at her.

They stood there for a few minutes staring at each other breathing heavily. His eyes softened and his arm pressed to her became lax. Kathrine stared at him in shock. Deep down she knew he cared about her at least a little bit, but to hear him say it out loud and with so much emotion was a shock to her entire system. She suddenly became aware of just how close they were. If she leaned forward her head just a little she could... She reached a hand up rested it on his cheek.

"Levi..." His name was barely a whisper on her lips but it seemed to shatter whatever had been separating them those few inches. Kathrines eyes fluttered closed as he leaned in. His lips were so soft and gentle. They felt like a whisper against her own. Kathrines mind and body simultaneously froze. Slowly he began to pull away. _No!_ Kathrines hand curled into a fist in his shirt as she kissed him back. Taking the invitation he leaned back into her. He moved his arm off her chest and pulled her closer up against his body. His grip on her waist was so gentle but firm. She moved her hand from his cheek and combed it back through his hair. She was a little surprised at how silky and clean it felt. Even after getting sweaty and tossing her into the dirt he didn't even feel the slightest bit dirty. Her other hand still gripped the front of his shirt tightly. Kathrine wasn't sure how long had passed when he finally pulled away hesitantly. The sun had almost completely gone down by now though. The were both breathing heavily as they looked at each other in the golden light of the setting sun. 

Levi sighed looking defeated, "I just can't stay mad at you."

He pulled away leaving her feeling cold and walked away heading back inside. Kathrine could only stand there frozen. Her head a mixture of excited screaming and a dizzying rush of blood.

Kathrine eventually remembered how to control her body and put one foot in front of the other. She made her way back inside. Levis office door was opened and completely dark inside. She couldn't be bothered to figure out where he'd gone. She went into her room and sat down on her bed. Never before had she wanted someone so badly but he had left her. She laid down trying to calm her still dizzy mind and thundering heart. 

~~~

Levi sat on the roof of the tower. It wasn't to far off from sunrise. After he left Kathrine he'd gone to his room to take a cold shower. Having her body pressed up against his probably hadn't been the wisest move. He couldn't honestly say he regretted it though. The cold water had done absolutely no good for calming his burning nerves unfortunately which meant he had a very slim chance of actually getting any sleep. He sighed and went back inside. He might as well get ready for the day because it was training day. 

He skipped breakfast and instead got some extra paperwork done. Once the sun was well above the horizon he decided to go get ready for training. Normally on days when they had training Kathrine and him would go early to get a few hours of personal training done before everyone else showed up. He arrived at their usual meeting spot. A large high up branch at the edge of the forest. Kathrine was nowhere in sight. _Where the hell is she?_ After a while of waiting he began to wonder if maybe he'd made a big mistake last night by kissing her. But she had kissed him back. Was she just too embarrassed to face him at the moment? No, that just didn't seem like Kathrine at all. He sat down on the branch leaning against the trunk and closed his eyes enjoying the late summer breeze.

Levi opened his eyes when he heard the sound of gear zipping through the air. Kathrine landed on the branch in front of him breathing heavily as though she'd been running. 

"There you are." He said with a raised eyebrow.

"Sorry... I... slept in late." She said between breaths. 

"Alright let's get to it then." He stood and jumped off the branch.

She let out a frustrated half growl half sigh and followed him. She was hoping to talk to him about the night before but of course he put training first. She definitely wanted him, but had last night just been an in the moment thing or was he really that into her? She followed him through the usual training drills they did together, but it was painfully obvious she had her head in the clouds. She crashed into the giant titan dummy not once but twice. Then there was the time she clotheslined herself on a branch. Not hard enough to do any actual damage because she had thankfully been going slow but it definitely did a number on her pride. Thankfully she and Levi took a break before the others showed up for their training. Levi was still stuck running the training drills. So they showed up a few hours earlier than the others to get one on one training. 

Levi and Kathrine sat on a branch sharing a canteen. "So are we going to talk about last night?" Kathrine asked as she handed the canteen over to him.

"Only if you want to." He took a drink of water.

"Well I'd rather do more than just talk about it."

He gave her a side look. "Is that so?" There was a hint of mischief in his expression. 

Kathrine sighed. "What exactly it is you want from me Levi?" She asked getting serious.

"Tch. Hell if I know." Kathrine just stared at him as he took another drink of water. "I want you to survive, Kathrine. Like I already told you before, I care about you."

"So... you don't want to be with me in... any intimate way?" She asked hesitantly.

"I didn't say that."

Kathrine scowled. "You're really not making this any easier.

"I know." He stood up and offered her a hand. "Come talk to me again when we're alone and not training."

She accepted his offered hand and stood up. _Alone?_ She listened carefully and sure enough she heard the distant sound of mechanical whirring and lines zipping. The others had arrived for training and with them Levi went back to his completely seriousness. 

~~~

Later after training Kathrine had gone to find Levi right after they had finished. She would have just gone straight to the tower with him but stopped by the kitchen to get some food for void. The cat oddly liked bread. She went to his office only to find it empty. _Alright I guess I'll go take a shower then find him_. She made her way up the stairs but when she reached the second level she saw the light shining from behind Levis closed bedroom door. She went to walk past it but hesitated. _Should I knock now and try to talk to him?_ She turned and walked back to the door and raised her hand to knock. _But what if I'm just annoying him at this point?_ She lowered her hand. _No he can't get annoyed at me when I'm being perfectly reasonably curious about where I stand with him._ She opted for pacing back and forth while she thought over her predicament. 

The door opened making her jump and turn back towards it. 

"If you're just going to pace in front of my door then you might as well just come in and talk to me." He left the door open and walked over to a table and started taking off his gear which was already mostly off. 

Kathrine followed and stop right on the inside of the doorway leaning against the frame. "Well I don't mean to be a bother, but you said we could talk when we were alone and not training."

"So talk." He said with his back still turned towards her.

She blew out a breath, "Alright, well... about last night. I'm not really entirely sure where it is I stand with you now. I mean I'm not complaining or anything, I'm just not sure if that's really what you want or if it was just heat of the moment type thing. Because if it was that's ok I understand although I'm not saying that's what it was for me I'm just saying that... What are you doing?" 

Levi had finished taking off his gear and had taken off his shirt causing Kathrine to completely lose her train of thought. He opened a dresser and started digging through it. "Well I don't know about you but I like to shower after getting sweaty and dirty from training."

"Oh. Well of course I do." Kathrine said still distracted. 

He laid some clothes out on the bed and gave her a skeptical look. "But you haven't." 

Kathrine rolled her eyes. "Well of course I wanted to talk to you first." He started walking into another room and she followed after him. "I mean this is kind of a first priority for me at the moment." She paused in the doorway realizing she had almost followed him into the bathroom.

He turned on the water and turned to her. "Well you can join me then if you're _that_ desperate to have this conversation." Kathrine felt the blood rush to her cheeks. "Or you can do more than just talk about it like you suggested earlier. Better make a choice now though because my pants aren't staying on much longer." He walked over to where she still stood in the doorway and leaned his hands on the door frame. "So what'll it be, Kathrine?" 

Kathrines attention drifted from his liquid silver eyes to his lips then down lower to his bare chest. Her mind was blank as she lifted up her hand and trailed a finger down his chest, lower to his abs, and stopping right at the waistband of his pants. He watched her the entire time remaining completely still. When she stopped at his pants he tilted her head up with a finger under her chin. He had the slightest smirk as he leaned in and kissed her lips. She only froze for a split second then quickly fell into his rhythm. She playfully nipped at his lip as her fingers fumbled with the button on his pants. He lightly sucked in a breath and pulled her into the bathroom with and arm around her waisted and pushed her up against the wall. They broke away for a second for her to take off her shirt. Levi was immediately back on her. She wrapped an arm around his neck and ran her hand through his silky hair. Her other hand clumsily pawed at his pants. He pressed into her more and moved his lips from hers trailing down to her neck while his hands skillfully unbuttoned her pants. She let out a mix between a gasp and a moan as he lightly bit down on the soft spot between her neck and shoulder. Her pants dropped down to the ground along with what was underneath. His own dropped to the ground and were kicked away as he reached around and undid her bra. He reached down lifting her up against the wall with his hands under her thighs so he could easily trail kisses down from her neck to her chest. Even with her lifted up like this she could feel something hard pressed between them. He lowered her back down a little so she was eye level and pulled away breathing heavily. 

"You can say something if this goes any further than you want. I won't hold it against you."

She leaned in nipping his jaw, "No keep going." She whispered in between kissing a trail from his jaw to his neck. He remained completely still as she reached a tender spot below his ear and lightly bit. He hissed and his hands tightened on her thighs inviting her to suck on the spot. Taking advantage of both of her hands tightly wrapped around him he pulled away from the wall and carried her into the shower pinning her to the tile wall. He let one of her legs fall in exchange for exploring between her legs with his fingers. Her gasp of surprise quickly turned into a moan of pleasure. He recaptured her lips with his muffling her moaning. She bit his lip when his fingers hit a particularly sensitive spot finally breaking through his resolve to hold off on taking things further. He positioned himself right at her entrance. 

She pulled back just enough to look at him a little sheepishly. "Just one thing. Try to be gentle because I've never... well..."

He lightly kissed her cheek, "I'll be gentle but you still might wanna find something to bite down on."

Her biting his neck mixed with the feeling of his head pushing through was enough to make him both moan and growl at the same time.


	20. Alleycat

Levi satisfied Kathrine twice while she was pinned to the tiled wall. The third time he finally caved and finished with her. They clung to each other breathing heavily for a few minutes.

Levi pulled away, “Let’s finish taking a shower.”

Kathrine pushed away from the wall the she’d been leaning on and nodded. Levi stood directly under the water for a few minutes. His hair matted to his face. He stepped back and combed a hand through his hair slicking it all back.

Kathrine giggled and he looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “What?”

She shook her head, “just a different look for you. Don’t worry about it.”

He just shrugged and began to lather up the soap. Kathrine took the opportunity to fully check him out in this vulnerable state. His legs were nice and muscular but not overly so, just like his arms. He had that slender but muscular build. With his back turned to her, she got a good look at his impressive build. He was surprisingly clear of scars. A few faint little crisscrosses here and there but that was it. She leaned forward and trailed a finger down his spine. His movements slowed to a stop his back slightly arching with a shudder. He reached back and handed her the soap.

After they both finished washing off Kathrine realized she didn’t even have any clothes. _Why does this seem familiar._ She thought with amusement.

Levi dried off and tossed the towel to her then walked out of the bathroom to go get his clothes which he had left on the bed. She dried off her body and followed him. He had put on pants but instead of putting on his shirt he tossed it to her.

"Put this on before I pin you to the bed." He ordered. 

"I wouldn't be entirely opposed to that." She muttered putting on the shirt. 

Levi flopped down onto the bed with an arm behind his head and his eyes closed. Kathrine walked over and sat down on the edge drying off her hair with the towel. 

"So..." She started. He peeked an eye open at her. "How long have you had a thing for me?" 

He actually smirked a little. "I've always acknowledged that you're beautiful." Kathrine ducked her head bashfully. She never would have thought to describe herself as beautiful. It just wasn't something she'd ever concerned herself with. "Over the past two -almost three- years, I've become really... attached to you." He actually smiled a little but covered it up rubbing his face. He put his hand back at his side and stared at the ceiling. "Thanks to your stupid reckless stunt last expedition I actually felt fear for the first time in a long time." Kathrines face felt warm with shame. "Speaking of which. He looked at her without moving his head. "Final expedition of the year is at the beginning of next week. Try not to do anything stupid." 

His phrasing of things could be considered harsh but she knew he meant well.

She perked up with a thought. "Next winter is the end of the three year training program. Do you think we'll get very many new recruits?" She finished drying her hair and hung up the towel on the bathroom door knob. Levi scowled at it. He probably had some other method for letting it dry but he seemed to let it go for now as she sat back down on the bed. 

"There's two ways this can go. Either the new recruits will want to stay as far away as possible from the titans and we won't get a lot of new recruits. Or as Erwin predicts they'll be riled up about the loss of friends, family, and territory, and we'll get a good number of new recruits. Not enough to jump us back up to the number of people we used to have but still a considerable amount. Normally I'd think it to be the former, but Erwin isn't known for being wrong when he takes a gamble. So maybe we'll get lucky."

"But they won't be all that fired up because they didn't really lose any family members. Military families were excluded from the culling, remember." Kathrine pointed out.

"The Bureaucrats said trainees didn't count since they could drop from the course. Their families weren't excluded."

Kathrine gapped for a second. "That's horrible." She said quietly. "They had to put up with training along with the loss of family from the culling on top of already having lost family, friends, and their homes from the fall of Maria." She scowled. "I hate those assholes in the capitol. People like them shouldn't have power." She balled her hands into fists. Levi sat up and to her surprise tugged her to him. 

"Don't get so worked up." He tiled her head so he was looking directly into her eyes. Despite what had just happened between them in the shower she still blushed slightly as her heart thundered from their closeness. "The only thing we can do now is push forward so that those deaths aren't wasted." 

She smiled a little. "You're a lot softer than people give you credit for." She teased.

"Tch." He just rolled his eyes and fell back onto the bed taking her with him this time. She made a slightly surprised sound but then settled her head on his bare chest. To her surprise his heart was actually beating a little rapidly. 

"Tell me something about yourself Levi." She absentmindedly traced a finger along the muscles of his stomach starting with his lower abs. She was rewarded with the slightest shudder. No one could have ever noticed unless they were pressed right up against him like she was. 

"My favorite tea is black tea." He said in a flat voice, although she knew he was teasing her. 

She exhaled through her nose. "Something I don't know. Like maybe why you hold cups the way you do." 

She felt him stop breathing for a minute then sigh. "You know I grew up underground. So of course I didn't really get many luxuries. When I was finally able to afford tea and a set for the first time the cup completely shattered when I picked it up by the handle." 

He actually sounded stiff about it. Most people would've just thought it was his normal voice but Kathrine could tell he was actually slightly agitated. Despite this she was barely able to contain her giggling. She managed to keep quiet but of course her body gave it away. 

"Don't laugh." Levi snatched her hand from where it had paused it's tracing on his stomach and brought it up to his mouth and nipped her finger.

She squeaked in surprise. "Levi!" She jerked her hand but his grip was like iron. He put her hand back where it had been. She felt his chest shake ever so slightly. "Are you-" She tried to push herself up but his arm wrapped around her held firm. She jabbed him in the side which surprised him enough that his grip loosened and she sat up. Levi was smiling and wouldn't look at her. "Oh my gosh you are!" His chest slightly shook causing Kathrine to grin herself which then dissolved into giggles. Levi was actually _smiling._ In the almost three years that she'd known him she'd never seen him do more then barely smirk. He ran a hand through his still damp hair and took a deep breath. Kathrine poorly hid a yawn and laid her head back down on his chest her hand resuming its journey across his muscled stomach. 

"You tell me something about yourself." He said. 

"My favorite tea is green tea." She said smugly.

"I guess I had that coming." 

"Anything in particular you want to know?" 

"Anything."

She thought for a moment. "Hmm. You do already know a lot more about me than anyone else. Did I ever tell you about that time I befriended that alleycat?"

"No."

She began telling him about the time she'd found a cat in a back alley and for some reason shared some of her food with it despite how hungry she'd been at the time. Levi thought with amusement that her and Isabel would have gotten along really well. Especially considering how Isabel had a weak spot for cute helpless animals. There weren't many in the underground but Isabel had found that bird that somehow got trapped down there and then she nursed it back to health. Between Kathrines soothing voice and the hypnotic feeling of her hand lightly skimming across his abs he found that his eyelids felt surprisingly heavy. He let his eyes fall closed thinking he wouldn't so easily fall asleep when he always had such trouble doing so.

Kathrine paused when she felt his heartbeat calm and his breathing deepen. "Levi?" She sat up when he didn't respond. His face looked peaceful and relaxed. She smiled and kissed his jaw. It wasn't very long after when she fell asleep herself.


	21. Soaring high

Kathrine was out on the training grounds, along with almost everyone else, running drills. Levi had them practicing different maneuvers that would be crucial for the upcoming expedition. The scouts had less people than they were used to. But hopefully things would go smoother than last time anyways. Kathrine was taking a break up in a tree by herself watching Levi lead a formation through the trees. He had asked her to watch the ones following him and give any critiques she noticed. Some times even someone as great as him needed the perspective of someone on the outside. Everyone did fairly well although a few did lag behind a bit causing a weakness in the formation. Some might have said Levi was the problem for being to fast paced but when you have a titan on your tail you really couldn't stop and complain to it that it was being too fast paced. 

Nina then zipped up and landed on Kathrines branch. "What's up with you today?" She asked.

"What do you mean?" Kathrine didn't take her eyes off the formation.

"I've never seen you so... smiley."

"I'm just in a good mood." Kathrine watched as Levi smoothly slid between a tangle of branches causing a few of the people that had been following behind to either swerve or come to a stop all together. Although most of the people made it through albeit they more crashed through than anything else. It sucked but protocol was that in a situation like that you just had to grit your teeth and keep going. You couldn't let the fear of getting a little scratched up by some branches stop you. Levi sharply came back around to chew out those who had screwed up. But to everyones surprise he instead simply told them not to screw up again and take a quick break. Levi never really yelled but his sharp tongue and tone made up for that. His calm jabs were as embarrassing as having a drill sergeant yelling in your face.

"Seems like Captain Levi is in a good mood too then. Normally he'd really make them regret screwing something like that up."

Kathrine looked away and crossed her arms. "Well what a happy coincidence."

Nina rolled her eyes, "It's good to see that you guys made up."

Kathrines heart stuttered for a split second when she misheard "made up" for "made out". It only took her a second to realize her mistake and calm herself. She poorly hid her scrambled mind with a nervous laugh. 

"Yeah well that whole situation couldn't last forever." She self consciously scratched the back of her neck.

Nina just gave her a friendly smile. 

_I'm being way to jumpy about this._ Kathrine thought with a mental chuckle. Her and Levis type of relationship wasn't entirely against the rules but there were extreme restrictions around it. For one she'd be removed from his squad and they would be heavily supervised especially during missions. Non marital pregnancy in the military would result in her being discharged. Thankfully there were drugs and herbs to prevent this. 

~~~

Kathrine followed close behind Levis horse on her own chestnut one. They had slowed down to a normal trotting speed as they passed through the gate of the wall and into the Trost district. 

_We just have to survive this mission then we're good until spring._ Kathrine let out a tense breath with the passing of the thought. 

The scouts made their way to the gates at a brisk pace people lined up on the streets to watch them pass by. There was plenty of chatter to be heard as people watched them go past. There was no way Kathrine would ever get used to people paying so close attention to her riding by in the streets. She kept her head down as they not really having the nerve to look random strangers in the eye. She considered pulling her hood up but then decided it might give off the wrong impression of her being cowardly. Considering how few of them there were now it could reflect badly on them as a whole. 

They arrived at the gate of Trost and came to a halt. Levi looked back meeting her eyes and she gave him a slight nod. Without a word they jumped off their horses and zipped their way up to the top. They weren't up there alone very long before Ninas squad joined them. They looked down onto the titans side of the walls. What was once theirs. 

"Looks like things are good to proceed as planned." Nina observed. "Alright lets go." She jumped off the wall and swung down to the right three of her teammates following behind her. Levi jumped off and went straight down Kathrine right along side him. There were three titans milling about the area in front of the gate. Kathrine saw an opening to take out one of the titans. She fired her gear causing her to go racing past Levi who was still in a free fall. 

_Why isn't he going in for the kill?_

She sliced the titans neck and landed on the roof that was directly behind it ready to take out one of the two left. They were just walking past each other causing her to hesitate. Just as they passed by each other Levi shot through the narrow gap between the two taking both down at once.

 _That's why he didn't go straight for that open one._ Kathrine realized.

They swung back to the wall and ran along the side just high enough to see over the houses. Kathrine counted five in total that were close enough to be of risk. There was no doubt Levi saw them as well. They released their hooks from the wall kicking off at the same time. They then hooked onto the edges of the nearby roofs of houses falling just enough below them to use the momentum to swing back up in a perfect arc landing on top of the roof. Countless hours of training had been put into their perfect synchronization. Kathrines odm skills thrived under Levis own skills and training. 

Levi got the first kill this time, as well as the last. Kathrine stood on a roof counting out the kills when Levi landed on the edge of the roof. 

"...got that one that fell on top of a house when it tripped, then the one standing in the water, then he got the last one... so in total the one then the two so that's three while he got the two then the three. Damn that's five to three." 

Levi walked past heading to the highest point on the roof and flicked her nose. "Not a competition."

She rubbed her nose and followed behind him. He seemed to be checking up on the right side where Ninas squad was. A trail of green smoke shot up into the sky from their side signaling an all clear for Ninas squad. Kathrine pulled out her smoke gun and loaded the green striped canister into it. She plugged one ear and fired it into the sky. The green smoked trailing up directly above her and Levis heads. She always found the smell that followed to be so weird. She followed Levi off the roof and they maneuvered to the main road that led to the gate. By the time they made it she could hear the grinding sound of the gate opening. The scouts came pouring out from under the gate which was opened just enough for them to safely ride under. As Kathrine saw her horse being led past she jumped down and gently swung onto its back. After everything that had happened she planned to make sure this horse stayed alive. The scouts horses were specially bred for speed and agility. Meaning they were extremely expensive. She patted the powerful creatures neck and veered off to the left following Levi who had found his horse and galloped to take the lead. They were now taking on a smaller version of the long distance formation. 

Erwin had explained the plan of this trip to everyone the day before. They were to head back to the Garrison base, which was technically a scout base now, then push further to the south. Last time there had been four deaths. Erwin had made it _very_ clear that everyones survival was top priority for this mission. 

They arrived at the base with little incident. A titan here and there but thanks to Levis brutal training and Erwins aptitude for leadership and strategy, everyone came out unscathed. Kathrine and Levi holed themselves up in the same room as last time. Levi of course sat on the window ledge for a while instead of laying down and going to sleep. Kathrine made herself comfortable on her bedroll. They talked about random topics for an hour or so. Kathrine loved when Levi would talk about different fighting techniques or different ideas he had for maneuvers using the odm gear. Kathrine closed her eyes imagining what he was describing. 

~~~

Kathrine cracked open a bleary eye at the sound of a squeaky hinge. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. The room was empty aside from herself although it was still dark out. A glance at Levis bedroll told her he'd been laying in it. She wasn't sure how long she'd been asleep. She got up and opened the door. She realized the sound that woke her was the squeaky door hinge. Had Levi just been here? She walked out into the hallway figuring she could go check whoever was on guard duty. There was a chance Levi had gone to take over for them. She kept her hand against the wall the guide her. It was well lit outside thanks to the almost full moon. She arrived at the little guard post tower attached to the building and climbed up to were the watchers were posted. To her surprise she saw two people gathered around a lamp with one person sitting on the ledge of the tower keeping watch. To her delight she realized the two people sitting by the lamp were Nina and Maskam, and the person keeping watch was Chester. 

"Hey! Kathrine!" Maskam said cheerfully. 

"Looks like we're all here now." Said Nina.

"What's going on here?" Kathrine asked sitting down next to them. 

"Well," Chester drawled. "I was posted to second guard duty, and for some reason _these_ _two_ ," He nuggied the top of their heads when he said 'these two', "decided to come pay me a visit." 

"Hey respect your Squad Leader!" Nina said batting his hand away. Although the smile on her face contradicted her words.

Maskam winced and rubbed his head. "We were trying to tell scary stories, but Chester is getting scared."

"All I said was my shift was about to end!" Chester protested.

"Oh! Ghost stories!" A new voice chimed from the doorway. 

They all turned their attention to Squad leader Hange who had her second in command, Moblit, shadowing behind her. He looked as though he'd been dragged out of his bedroll. 

"Squad Leader!" Maskam said with a salute as he simultaneously tried to stand.

"Relax," Hange said with a wave of her hand. "I'm just here for the next watch shift. I'm guessing you came out here to keep Goldstein company. I totally get it. That's why Moblit is here with me!" She dragged poor half asleep Moblit in front of her. "I love ghost stories though do you mind if I join you guys for one?" She clasped her hands together in front of her looking absolutely gleeful.

Maskam scratched his head sheepishly. "Well of course not, but we kinds ran out of ideas so it might be up to you guys to tell one." 

Hange tapped her chin with a "hmm" 

"I might..." Moblit paused mid sentence to yawn. "...know a few decent ones."

Hange grabbed him by the wrist with an excited squeak and forced him to sit by the lamp with everyone else and she plopped herself down next to him. She hilariously reminded Kathrine of a child excitedly waiting to hear a bedtime story. 

"Alright," Moblit began with a stretch. "Our story begins with a happy girl living in a happy little house a little ways into the forest by a happy little village..."

_the little girl lived with her dear old grandmother who was a very superstitious old woman. Many of the villagers thought her to be insane or paranoid. The little girl over heard people speaking of her grandmother this way and before long began to believe so too. One day the little girl was singing a song she'd heard some of the village kids singing. "Ring-a-ring-a-rosie pocket full of posies..." She sang. Her grandmother overheard this and scolded her._

_"Don't you know little child!" She cried, "That song is cursed! If a stranger hears you singing it they'll fall terribly ill and die, then their ghost will haunt you."_

_"How will you know they're terribly ill?" The naive girl asked._

_"They grow horrible boils all over their body, their skin peals off in flakes," The grandmother stepped closer lowering her voice. "their eyes become bloodshot, red as a cardinals feathers, with yellow puss oozing out, and many more terrible things!"_

_"But you're not falling ill, Grandmother." The little girl_ _pointed out skeptically._

_"Well my dear girl I'm not a stranger, now am I?" The older woman said wisely._

_The girl was a little shaken but still skeptical._ She's just superstitious, just like all the others say. _The girl pouted._

_She didn't song the song for some time, but eventually as all foolish children do she threw caution to the wind._

_"Ring-a-ring-a-rosie pocket full of posies ashes ashes..." The little girl sang as she skipped along the forest path._

_"You there, girl!" A voice called_

_A man was walking along the path up ahead of her. Had he heard her song?_

_"I seem be having a bit of trouble find the nearby village, could you point me in the right direction?"_

_The little girl pointed him in the right direction. He went on his way and she soon foolishly forgot about him and continued skipping along singing her song._

_Not very many days later there was a terrifying rumor of a plague infested man wondering into the village. The villagers discerption of the man was horrifying. Boils all over his body, with the skin flaking off. And his eyes! How terrifying his eyes were! Red as the most beautiful of rose petals but leaking with puss._

_The young girl was terrified by this. Refusing to accept that it was her doing she convinced herself it was just a coincidence and continued living on as she had before without worry or care._

_One day news came that the man had died but the sickness thankfully had not spread. The girl thinking she had no worries went out for a walk. She skipped along the path as normal when suddenly she tripped on a root that she hadn't seen falling and hitting her head. She woke quit some time later completely disorientated. It was now dark and cold. She looked around confused because she did not feel the gravel of the path under her. She had tripped on the path right? She stood and it seemed that she was still in the forest but the path was nowhere in sight._

_"H-Hello?" She called._

_No answer._

_"Is anyone out..." She paused hearing the sound of a distant voice. "Hello?" She called louder this time._

_The voice grew closer but she still couldn't make out what it was saying._

_"I seem to be lost," She took a step forward intending to go near the voice but then it occurred to her that she couldn't tell which direction it was coming from. And yet it somehow still grew closer._

_"Ring... ring... sea..." The voice was horribly scratchy as though the person using it had a very sore throat._

_"Hello?" The girl was scared now. Her heart hammered against her chest feeling almost painful._

_"Rosie... ashes..." It sounded as though the voice was right behind her now but she hadn't heard anyone approach._

_She slowly, so painfully slowly, turned her head, eyes wide against the dark moonless night. But there was no one there. She turned forward again and_

"AAHHHH!" Moblit screamed and Hange joined in but in a very high pitch with fear. She quickly covered her mouth eyes wide when Moblit started laughing. Maskam had almost jumped to his feet. Meanwhile Nina, and Kathrine joined Moblit in his cackling. 

"Don't do that!" Hange slapped Moblits arm but he just laughed even harder. 

Nina nudged Kathrine in the ribs to get her attention then pointed at Chester who was still sitting on the ledge but wide eyed and tight lipped. This only made Nina and Kathrine laugh harder. 

"Not bad." Someone chimed in from the doorway. Even Kathrine and Nina jumped at the sudden materialization of a person being there. Hange yelped again and vigorously shook Moblit. Kathrine realized the silhouette in the doorway was actually Levi which caused her to dissolve into a fit of giggles. Levi straightened up to let someone pass by and Kathrine realized that the person who had spoken hadn't been Levi but instead Squad Leader Mike. He had a spark of amusement on his face as he surveyed them all. 

Chester stood up and cleared his throat. "All right well I think that's enough for me for now. I'm gonna head to bed."

"You're looking a little pale there, Chester. You ok?" Maskam teased.

"I'm fine!" Chester snapped. He stepped around the little makeshift campfire everyone was gathered around and headed for the door.

"Hey! wait up! I'll come with you so that you don't wake the whole base up just in case a rat crosses your path or something." Maskam jumped up and followed Chester to the door. 

"Ha! You're just scared and don't want to have to walk alone." Chester jabbed

Maskam puffed out his chest "No I have Nina." 

"Actually I'm going to walk with Chester either way." Nina gave Kathrines shoulder a pat and followed them out the door.

Kathrine just grinned and shook her head. Hange had already been distracted by Mike and dragged him into a conversation with her on the floor. Kathrine got up and walked over to Levi who was still leaning against the doorframe. 

"You never said anything." She said as she past him. 

He abandoned his spot to walk beside her. "I was just a little lost in thought. This reminded me of something."

"Anything you want to share?"

Levi didn't respond, but he had a conflicting look of sadness and happiness in his eyes as though a bittersweet memory were playing in his head. Kathrine figured it was probably best not to push him on the matter.

"I'm here if you want to talk." She said instead as they arrived back at their temporary room.

To her surprise once they closed the door behind them Levi kissed her on the cheek. The room was too dark to see details but she'd bet money her face was pink. They both laid down on their bedrolls. Both able to fall into a comfortable sleep. 


End file.
